Those New Florida Plates Suck, So We Made Our Own. Vote For Your Favorite!
|Sadly, this license plate isn't an option.|
Your Florida license plate is about to become a collector's item. The venerable image of the orange and the words Sunshine State will soon be replaced by a new model. Starting this week, Floridians can vote online for their favorite new look. Unfortunately, the options provided by the DMV are more boring than driving the Turnpike.
So we thought we'd design some alternative options that represent our great state even better than the iconic orange. Vote for your favorite right here!
Design 1: "Florida: The Oxycodone State."
Florida's economy is pretty simple: We get money from tourism, fishing, exorbitant highway tolls, and a running subsidy from "America's Funniest Home Videos" to supply the TV show with 50 percent of its content. But in South Florida, pill mills are still king. So why not honor their role in boosting the state economy? We'll even snag a motto from Road House: "Pain don't hurt."
Design 2: "Florida: America's Geriatric Alamo."
Florida is overstocked with two things: deadly weapons and people close to death. The elderly outnumber the rest of the state's population by roughly 40,000 to 1, and there are enough guns here to supply the world's militaries for a year. This license plate unites what are essentially the state's two mascots: old people and firearms.