2012 In Weird Florida Crime and Drugs: Part Three of the WTF Florida Awards

Categories: WTF Florida
Excellence in DUIs
Just call a cab, seriously people.
The nominees:
  • Kevin Brann for wearing a buttplug and rear ending another car. [source]
  • Maureen Raymond for telling police her "big bobbies" prevented her from passing a sobriety test. [source]
  • Paul J. and Belinda Jean Berloni for driving drunk while towing their granddaughter behind their SUV in Hot Wheels car. [source]
  • Dr. Zachary Bird for spitting blood everywhere after his DUI and basically going insane. [source]
  • Kimberly McCarthy for racking up three DUIs in the month but avoiding jail time because she didn't know driving while stoned was illegal. [source]

And the winner is: Kevin Brann
Buddy come on, never ever wear a butt plug in a car just out of the fear that if you do end up rear ending another car you're just giving snarky bloggers easy ammo to make jokes about "read ending."

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