Oh hooray! The Dolphins beat a pathetic two-win team to prolong our chances for an evenly average season. Fantastic. Ryan Tannehill played flawlessly, Reggie Bush threw down his anaconda sexual organ and the Dolphins trampled a pathetic Jaguars team 24-3. Woooooooooooo!
The Dolphins played a virtually perfect game on offense and defense -- about three weeks too late. But, still, it was fun to watch and beat up on a lesser opponent with two wins and no quarterback. Luckily, we survived the possibility of a 'Chad Henne revenge game' and Jeff Ireland's reign of terror continues for another week.
This game was positively narcoleptic for three quarters but we'll hit the highlights anyway:
- The Dolphins beat a lesser opponent handily, Chad Henne played like the Chad Henne we all know and hate and Ryan Tannehill had a bounceback performance.
- The game started off with an enormous amount of pathetic football. So much so the Surgeon General considered the game itself a Class A illegal narcoleptic because of the sleep-inducing non-action. Congressional subcommittees met to discuss its relevance for days. Ultimately, action picked up once a Tannehill fumble deep in our own territory yielded an opportunity for the Jags to go up 10-3. Unfortunately for our future draft prospects, the Jags are JUST as stupid as our own team and committed a rare 'illegal-lineman-downfield-penalty' that negated a 22-yard Henne to Justin Blackmon pass that would have put the Jags up 10-3. Instead, the Jags went for it on 4th and 1 and got nowhere. SMART FOOTBALL!