Marco Rubio Is Going Bald, According to Esquire

Categories: Politicks
rubobald.jpg
We guess it's a sure sign that you really are a political superstar when men's magazine Esquire starts writing about your hair.

The mag's website points out that Marco Rubio's hair is looking mighty thin up on top lately, and thinks the Florida senator is trying to overcompensate for it in all the wrong ways. They even consulted a hairdresser on behalf of the Tea Party wunderkind.

"The sides of his hair are so dramatically thick compared to the top that it's making his hair look even thinner," Elle Medico, a fancy New York hair stylist tells the mag. "He should cut the top shorter and texturize both the top and sides. No more than an inch and a half on top -- and ask for layers up there to add body."

She goes on to say that his hair is starting to look "not far off from combover city." Eep!

You'd think a man that once charged $134 to a Republican Party of Florida credit card at a fancy hair salon would know better.

You may think this is all silly talk, but remember, America hasn't elected a bald president since Dwight Eisenhower, and that guy was a five star general. This isn't the first time Rubio's hairstyle has come under fire. Back in 2010, Telegraph blogger Damian Thompson dubbed him "the combover kid."

Perhaps before Rubio sets up that 2016 exploratory committee, he might want to schedule an exploratory consultation with a hairstylist or Hair Club for Men.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
My Voice Nation Help
1 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
HarryTheHandyman
HarryTheHandyman

How many Rubio articles have you written now?  I think you've got a man crush on him

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...