Riptide's Ten Most Popular Posts of 2012: Porn Stars, Roadside Masturbation and the Miami Zombie
1. Armed Neo-Nazis Now Claim To Be Patrolling Sanford, Say They Are "Prepared" for Post-Trayvon Martin Violence
"Asked if the patrols wouldn't just make things worse -- spark a race riot, for instance -- Schoep insists they are simply a "show of solidarity with the white community down there" and "wouldn't intimidate anybody."
2. Rudy Eugene Identified As Miami Zombie, Plus NSFW Photo of Attack's Aftermath
"Eugene's the naked man who was gnawing the face of a half-naked homeless man on the MacArthur Causeway near the Miami Herald headquarters Saturday afternoon. A Miami police officer shot and killed Eugene when he did not obey commands to stop feasting on his victim. The grisly incident generated international headlines and a world of snickering about a burgeoning zombie Apocalypse in Miami."
3. Local Porn Stars Will Make Good on Offer to Give Anyone a BJ After Heat Championship
"Somehow we feel like Oklahoma City is the real winner of this bet. Frankly, we think Charles Barkley and Skip Bayless are the real culprits who deserve to eat a million dicks, but, hey, whatever makes these girls and desperate dudes wanting a quick knob-slobbin' happy."
4. Woman Arrested for Masturbating on the Side of a Florida Highway
"Her self-pleasuring antics even slowed down traffic on the roadway. Holton didn't seem to mind. She was enjoying herself so much that when a police officer tried to put her pants back on, Holton bit the officer."
5. Trayvon Martin: No, That's Not His Facebook Page Showing "Gangsta" Photos
"If you haven't come across the photo to the right, you probably will in the next day or two. Gross racists and assorted other morons are claiming that it's from the Facebook page of Trayvon Martin, the teenager shot and killed by neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman in Sanford, and that somehow that has bearing on the case."