Fiscal Cliff Averted, No Thanks To Marco Rubio or Trio of South Florida Representatives

Categories: Politicks
Today is going to be a real bitch, Miami. No question about it. You're back at work already, but those three bottles of champers you chugged on New Year's Eve are not done with you yet. Right now, your head feels like Deadmau5 is spinning a set on your cerebellum.

But there is good news. While you were hungover, your elected officials managed to do something for once. They approved a short-term fix to the fiscal cliff crisis that they themselves created just months earlier.

Well, most of them did. Marco Rubio was one of just eight senators to vote against the agreement. And no less than three South Florida representatives tried to kill the last-ditch, economy-saving, tax-reducing measure. Can you guess which ones? Here's a clue: they're all bat-shit insane. And they are all on their way out of office.

If you guessed nut-punching playboy Connie Mack IV, Muslim-baiting psycho Allen West, and America's allegedly most corrupt politician David Rivera, you win a bottle of John Boehner's fake tan cream (color: burnt sienna).

Here's a full list of how South Florida's elected officials voted on the fiscal cliff bill:
Voted in favor:
Sen. Bill Nelson (D)
Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D)
Rep. Alcee Hastings (D)
Rep. Frederica Wilson (D)
Rep. Ted Deutch (D)
Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R)
Rep. Mario Diaz-Balart (R)

Voted against:
Sen. Marco Rubio (R)
Rep. David Rivera (R)
Rep. Connie Mack IV (R)
Rep. Allen West (R)
Interestingly enough, Mack's own wife -- California Republican rep Mary Bono Mack -- voted to approve the fiscal deal. Aaaawkward.

Nonetheless, Mary Bono Back joins her husband, West, and Rivera on their way out of Washington D.C. All four of them recently lost their elections and will be packing up their congressional office supplies later today.

Without a doubt, the biggest name on the list of descendants is Tea Party poster boy and potential GOP presidential candidate Marco Rubio.

"Of course, many Americans will be relieved in the short term that their taxes won't go up," the senator said in a statement. "However in the long run, they will be hurt when employers pass on to them one of the largest tax hikes in decades."

His "no" vote angered even fellow conservatives, however.

"Apparently, his advisers have convinced him that irresponsibility is the road to the White House," right-leaning Jennifer Rubin wrote in The Washington Post. "It is not the first time that he has chosen to play to the right-wing peanut gallery, showing a troublesome timidity in the face of future primary votes."

The last-minute deal did not include an extension of the extremely popular payroll tax cut. Experts say that could still damage the economy and will cost the average South Florida family several thousand dollars in 2013.

Happy New Year Miami! Now take some ibuprofen.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes. Follow this journalist on Twitter @MikeMillerMiami.

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When is Rubio going to stop smoking the tea? Geez. Even party rubber-stamps Ros-Lehtinen and Diaz-Balart got the memo. 

Phil Ramirez
Phil Ramirez

Marco Rubio isn't that stupid, people... Once the NYC based media, gets a hold of his local record, especially those funds he dilapidated, he'll misteriously will "suspend his campaign". Of course, he's the next Republican messiah in the mind of those south of County Line Road.

Brian Smith
Brian Smith

he is the only one that really has the balls and cares! true American! Thank You Marco.

Firip Onitsuka
Firip Onitsuka

He's not conservative. He wants to cut spending but won't even talk about cutting the defense budget to 2006 levels. He's a neocon. Rand Paul on the other hand...

Raul Rln
Raul Rln

Marco Rubio, the Tea parties favorite Mexican, is a going nowhere!

Rachel Penabella
Rachel Penabella

This 'Short Term' stint equals good news? I think you guys are riding around on unicorns or smoking some good shitakee. Give me a break - the only thing that got resolved was the Presidents threat on the Republicans. Big Woop, we'll be kicking the can around again in February. Isn't that why half the country re-elected the same president and senators back? Cause they're great at kicking that can. When I read these types of articles, I'm certain this country is turning into a collection of mindless sheep. The Herd, ya heard!

Norman Canter
Norman Canter

That's not Michael Jackson from Autonation . . Rubio is a sell out to people

Daniel Solares
Daniel Solares

He has the chances to be president that Michael jackson has to go to the moon!!

Anthonyvop1 topcommenter

Higher Taxes for 80% of the Taxpayers with no significant budget cuts.  Toss in some typical D.C. Cronyism and Rubio is the bad guy for voting against it?

You obvious left wing bias has gone from quaint to pathetic.

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