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Florida Man Attacks Friend With Bat After He Refuses to Join Him and His Wife for a Threesome

Categories: WTF Florida
threesomebatswing.jpg
On one hand, monogamy is boring. On the other, jealousy is a strange, unpredictable emotion. So you should really think things through before inviting your friend to have a threesome with you and your wife or else things could end up involving a baseball bat. (And not even in a fun, kinky kind of way.)

In the early hours of December 14 in Vero Beach, Robert Briley, 44, was in the midst of an all day bender when he started pestering his 37-year-old friend to join him and his wife in the bedroom.

According to the arrest report obtained by Off the Beat, Briley had been pestering the friend, who had been staying with him, to have sex with his wife all day long. Apparently, he wanted the friend to take on the penetrative duties while he was fellated by his wife. Briley had even tried to get the friend to touch his wife's vagina.

The friend wasn't interested, but suggested that he just take the wife into a room and have sex with her on his own.

Briley was not too pleased with this suggestion.

He grabbed an aluminum baseball bat and swung it repeatedly at the friend.

The friend then left the house and called police. He was concerned because he knew that Briley also kept guns in the home. The friend also called the wife and told her to leave the house until police arrived. They did, and arrested Briley on charges of aggravated assault at about 3:48 a.m.

Insert joke about sexual swinging and bat swinging here.

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