Mugshots Friday: The Pineapple Shirt Code and Work-Appropriate Face Tattoos

Categories: Mugshots Friday
Latest Dade County Arrests-1.jpg
Arrested: 1/9
Charges: Domestic Violence, Aggravated Stalking, Petit Theft, Issuing a Worthless Check, and Harassing Communication
How dare you wear a pineapple print shirt sir! How dare you mar the good reputation of all pineapple print shirt wearing men everywhere with your behavior! Pineapple shirts are all about chill vibes and good times. Pineapple shirts are about indulging in margaritas at the marina bar. Pineapple shirts are about popping a few Viagras and making gentle love to your old lady to the erotic sounds of Jimmy Buffet. You sir have defiled the pineapple shirt. You have lost your pineapple shirt privileges.

middlepart.jpg
Arrested: 1/6
Charges: Battery
Just two days after Mr. Middle Part here got arrested, BuzzFeed had a 25 point listicle on the "most important middle parts in all of history." So not only does that mean that the middle part is officially back, but it also means this guy beat BuzzFeed to their own nostalgia mongering game.

cutyrhair.jpg
Arrested: 1/8
Charges: Trespassing After Warning
You thought your grandpa was a closed minded asshole on Thanksgiving when he told you long hair is for girls and you heard him mumbling "and god forbid he ends up in jail looking like that." Then you actually wind up in a Miami jail on some stupid charges, and all the sudden you're making your first appointment at the barber in years and sending Gramps a box of his favorite cigars.

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4 comments
Mojo-Jojo
Mojo-Jojo

the douche at the top might as well get a tattoo that says "Life in Prison" 

robbbroad
robbbroad

I agree with the hillbilly.  I look forward to this all week.

Nick Mencia
Nick Mencia

i love laughing at these poor wretched souls and then its the weekend! Yes! Thank you New Times for helping to estrange myself from humanity in order to more fully enjoy the vapid bounties of our fair city.

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