Mugshots Friday: Wipe That Off Your Face

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 12/29
Charged With: Petit Theft
Girl, you are not McKayla Maroney. Wipe that "not impressed" look off your face.

Arrested: 12/27
Charged With: Grand Theft and Driving Without a Valid License
The things kids does to make up for not being able to grow a full mustache. Last week it was facial tattoos. This week it's maladroit '80s glam metal hair.

Arrested: 12/29
Charged With: Disorderly Conduct
Dude, you got something going on in your beard/hair area. Is that ...is that some sort of body fluid? Oh God, please tell me that's just spit.