Heat Pull Away With Late Run, Win Sixth Straight 117-104 Over Blazers
Helping LeBron on this historic night were, wait for it, waaaaaaait for itttttt, DWYANE WADE AND CHRIS BOSH! Bosh would finish with 32, Wade with 24, as the Big 3 combined for 86 points in what may have been their most balanced effort of the season -- but KYRIE IRVING AND 2014 YOU GUYS! Shane Battier chipped in with three triples that seemed to come just at the right time, and Ray Allen broke out of a month-long slump with 14 as the Heat improved their home record to 23-3, and 35-14 overall, notching the franchise's 1,000th all-time win -- we're all gonna get laid!
For whatever reason the Blazers thought it might be a good idea if noted LeBron stopper Sasha Pavlovic covered LeBron James. Bad idea jeans, broseph. LeBron time and time again took Sasha off the dribble and finished at the hole, using him for his own entertainment like an exotic dancer at Tootsies named ... well, I guess Sasha ironically works here, as well. Huh.
Blazers rookie Damian Lillard was impressive in the loss, finishing with a team high 33 points. With the game on the line late, Lillard drove to the hole where he was met by LeBron, and by "met" I mean he received his "Welcome to the NBA moment" from The King -- leading to a Chalmers three that would for all intents and purposes seal the deal for Miami. LeBron would then proceed to give Lillard a wedgie and a nooggie, before he stuffed him in a locker and put his arm around a cheerleader. Not long after, this happened.