The Miami Herald Attempts to Explain "Molly" to Old People

Categories: Media Watch
haveyouseenmolly.jpg
In a scoop that will surely rival the significance of famed investigative reportage like "Blunts Found at Reggae Festival" and "Cocaine Use Suspected at Studio 54," the Miami Herald ran a front-page story today informing the community of something that just about everyone already knows: People do drugs at Ultra Music Festival. But not just any drugs, you see. The Herald has discovered that all the kids are doing "molly," a compound first synthesized in 1912 and which has been in recreational use in one form or another since the 1980s.

See also:
- Madonna Crashes Avicii's Set at Ultra 2012, Namedrops Ecstasy
- Deadmau5 to Madonna: "Fuck Off, You Fucking Idiot"


Even to the uninitiated, molly can be described thusly:
Person 1: Hey, do you remember Ecstasy?
Person 2: Uh, yeah, duh, I lived through the '90s.
Person 1: Well, that's MDMA, but to process it into pill form, you have to cut it with something else. Molly is just crystalized MDMA sold in powder or capsule form. Your drug dealer will tell you it's purer, but he might have cut it with something else.
Person 2: So same shit, different name?
Person 1: Basically.
Well, the Herald took nearly 1,200 words to try to explain that fact to its (presumably) elderly readers but didn't do as good a job.

The only interesting part in the piece is that apparently the Miami Police Department really didn't think it was much of a problem until 53-year-old mother of four Madonna infamously made a joke about it last year at Ultra.

"Molly is a new phenomenon. Something that is still developing," Maj. Jorge Martin, commander of the Miami Police Special Investigation Section, tells the paper. "When Madonna made her... remark, we were starting to see it. A year later, our investigation has grown twofold."

Madonna, during a surprise appearance during Avicii's set, asked the crowd: "How many of you people have seen Molly?" She claimed she was simply referring to a song by DJ Cedric Gervais called "Have You Seen Molly?"

"It's about a girl, because I was looking for this girl called Molly," Gervais told the paper. Right, and Britney Spears's "If U Seek Amy" was really about looking for a girl named Amy.

Madonna controversies aside, the Herald piece comes with all the trappings of alarmist drug reporting, including anecdotes about extreme reactions, but never touches on broader safety issues such as the fact the drug can dehydrate you and that Ultra sells bottled water for a princely sum.

Of course, the bigger question here is how stupid and naive does the Herald think its audience is? Sure, maybe there are some old people who will be scandalized by this story, but splashing basic facts about a drug that's been around for decades on the front page of a paper serving a market that isn't exactly uninformed on drug use isn't a good way to reach anyone under 50. The odd irony is that the story was written by two Florida International University students for the school's South Florida News Service.

What do we expect next on the front page? "Exclusive: Apparently a Lot of Homeless People in Miami Are on Crack." 

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11 comments
dantevida
dantevida topcommenter

to those who support medical marijuana: go to www.pufmm.org print the petition (on one sheet, 2 sides) sign in blue ink, and mail. This will place it on the ballot for the next election. Also, volunteer if you want and donate if you can. I am a cancer survivor with a medical need. thanks

dodgephillip
dodgephillip

As reported in New Times, Roger Stone might run for governor. I know from his Twitter feed that he would not accept an appointment to the Lt. Gov. position. I don't think Pam Bondi will either because her current job title commands more sway. The kind of corruption here, now the subject of a federal investigation does not occur in a vacuum. Carroll's resignation does not absolve Scott of the cancer right under his nose. While it is uncertain if Roger Stone will run, I certainly suggest that he does. Stone has fresh ideas and they are sorely needed in our state and country.

HurrDurrman
HurrDurrman

You know it's a slow news day when, your publication has to publish an article criticizing another publication.

Kasey Wilson
Kasey Wilson

So funny that they think it is a "new" drug...

Tony Miller
Tony Miller

It's Evil young ones don't do it bad walk away

D1234
D1234

You clearly missed the point. The article was to let people know what what they think is MDMA in powdered form is 3 out of 4 times methylone.

"Miami police reports show Molly was confiscated and submitted for testing 207 times in 2011. Of those tests, 190 substances contained MDMA, while only 17 contained methylone. By 2012, the police confiscations were up to 337, a 63 percent increase. Testing showed 278 samples contained methylone and 59 contained MDMA. "

NizarAssad
NizarAssad

@D1234 Yes...but they made this announcement as if MDMA, ecstasy, 'Molly' is some new form of take over at UMF. They make no reference that this drug whether it's now form called 'Molly' or whatever has been ruling for awhile now. In the 90's and early 2000's there were 'Rolls'...which was much more powerful--some had mixtures of Heroin AND Cocaine! Where has The Miami Herald been all these years? Poor journalism if you ask me.

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