What We Don't Know About the Nude Body Found on Miami Beach

Categories: News
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Early this morning around 2 o'clock, police discovered the naked, lifeless body of an unidentified man in his 20s on the sands of Miami Beach near 25th Street. Police say there were no signs of trauma, and because no beat cops recognized the body, they don't believe the man was homeless. Police are awaiting the results of an autopsy before declaring the cause of death. Other than that, no information has been released to the public.

That hasn't stopped CBS Miami from not answering all the burning questions we have. Here are all the exciting non-facts from CBS Miami's report.

  • Was the man a local? "Investigators don't know."
  • Was he perhaps here for spring break? "Investigators don't know."
  • Well, what about Ultra Music Festival? "Investigators don't know."
  • Has anyone reported him missing? Police are "checking."
  • How did he end up in the water? Police spokesman Bobby Hernandez said, "There are a number of possibilities."
  • Was he skinny-dipping? "He may have."
  • Was he pushed off a bridge? "He may also have."
  • Was he pushed off a boat? "He may also have."
  • Did he fall off a bridge? "He may also have."
  • Did he fall off a boat? "He may also have."

Thank you for all of this breaking non-information, CBS Miami.
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6 comments
MiamiBeachJoe
MiamiBeachJoe

Four days out, do we know who, what , and why??  

Bigdic
Bigdic topcommenter

He had a dick still up his ass.

Ezradv
Ezradv

I remember watching the evening news and the anchor said "We really don't have any information and we certainly don't want to speculate but this is what we think happened..."

j.pollo
j.pollo topcommenter

Why keep asking questions when it's obvious no more information is available? Sheesh.

gpaugam7
gpaugam7

How about you give them some time to do what they do?  It's not like naked dude comes with a laundry label attached to his toe.

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