Another Day, Another Record-Low Crowd at Marlins Park, Another Fish Shutout

Categories: Sports
via @Manny_Navarro's Twitter
A hardy few souls stood for the National Anthem yesterday.
Get used to that headline up there, Miami. If Riptide were a lazier sort of operation, we'd copy it onto our desktop and recycle it over and over during homestands. One day after setting a new low attendance mark at Marlins Park, the Fish shattered that record last night by drawing just 13,810. How empty will stands get by July during Monday-afternoon games against the Pirates? Two thousand fans? Six hobos plus a ratty dog that wandered in off NW Seventh Street?

The team might just destroy some statistical marks for futility this year, too. After getting shut out 8-0 by the Braves last night, they've now been blanked in four of nine games, sit at 1-8, and are somehow already seven games out of first place.

Honestly, it's tough to decide which numbers are more embarrassing: the plummeting attendance at Marlins Park or the team's Sandlot-esque offensive output.

Let's begin with a few nuggets about fan support in this first homestand of the year. With two of the three games setting new low-water marks, the Opening Day series is the lowest-drawing three-game stretch at Marlins Park, 7,000 fewer than a Phillies series last August.

In fact, last night's crowd was so awful that even during the dark, cavernously empty final season at Sun Life Stadium, the team only drew a worse turnout 13 times. There were 27 completely empty sections at the park when the first pitch went out.

via @Manny_Navarro's Twitter
Didn't we build a smaller stadium to avoid these scenes?
And this was the first series of the year! Hope is supposed to spring eternal in April, with fans giving a fair shake to whatever collection of one-armed spitballers and converted gymnasts shuffle onto the field.

Then again, no team has ever crushed any hope of a decent season quite as quickly as this Marlins squad. They've now scored a grand total of 16 runs all year.

How bad does that suck? Well, remember John Buck? That guy who played catcher for the Fish for the past couple of years, who usually looked like he was attempting to swing a bat made of pure lead?

Well, he's now toiling for the Mets, and so far -- by himself! -- he's hit one more home run (three) and driven in just one fewer run than the entire Marlins roster. John Buck!

The good news is that Marlins attendance jokes have become the Twitter thing du jour for sportswriters.

Thumbnail image for marlinstweet3.jpg

Hilarious work, dudes! Of course, you didn't watch your city get cornered in a back alley and mugged for $560 million by the worst owner in professional sports, so sometimes it's less of a funny ha-ha kind of thing.

Now hitting Placido Polanco cleanup, that's some Dave Chappelle-worthy material.

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18 comments
debtservice
debtservice

$3 Billion is the bill taxpayers are stuck paying.  Interest on the bonds sold to pay for construction.  

Interest. Debt service.

debtservice
debtservice

$3 BILLION.  Taxpayers are getting hosed for $3 BILLION.

debtservice
debtservice

$3 BILLION.  Taxpayers are getting hosed for $3 BILLION.

Ray Kirkman
Ray Kirkman

Pardon...........??......Did somebody say something?? LOL

Danny Arango
Danny Arango

Im astounded attendance is still in the thousands or even worst that 13,000 plus fans actually care to see this sub par team. Despite the firesale in the offseason they had some faith that the team would be competitive, one can only assume, which certainly makes the case for sports indoctrination. New times your continued efforts to display the simply odious and egocentric management of the team is much appreciated and I will support ur display and documentation of this every step of the way. Bravo.

Brad Knoefler
Brad Knoefler

Well if they keep on evicting all their fans for not Liking Jeff loria.

James BBond
James BBond

We get the point. If you don't like the team just forget about them and don't write anything.

Ezekiel Angulo
Ezekiel Angulo

That's what they get for knocking down the historical OB.

mistrwrong
mistrwrong

This is the 17th city I've lived in, 8 of them got new stadiums. Not one of them have been  profitable for the city.  You do the math. 

Juan R. Pollo
Juan R. Pollo

And yet...they keep coming. You hate, but keep writing about them. Life goes on.

Camilo Payan
Camilo Payan

Roy, actually not building a stadium at all seems like it would have been the best investment. Not like either of those teams are really packing the fans in either.

Roy Haslem Jr
Roy Haslem Jr

This is what the city gets for $500 million or $1.8 billion in bonds. Think building a new stadium for The U or the Dolphins would have been a better investment?

Debora Gregori
Debora Gregori

How sad. Such a beautiful ballpark...such douchey mgmt

Justin Alvarez
Justin Alvarez

Nobody wants to see their one good player. (Giancarlo) That fire sale they had looms large. Also competing with the Heat plays a major role as well.

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