Florida Man Nearly Dies After Swallowing Two Pounds of Coke on Cruise

Categories: Crime, Drugs
Ever get home and regret eating that gas-station hot dog earlier in the day? You got nothing on Norman Mosch. Or maybe you have a friend who always talks you into doing stuff you inevitably question later, like that extra shot of Patrón at LIV? Norman Mosch scoffs at your woe.

Police say Mosch, 65, was pitched the idea by his buddy Leslie McLeary that they would take a cruise to Jamaica and the Cayman Islands, and while there ingest baggies of cocaine -- in Mosch's case 87 of them, weighing a little more than two pounds.

The failed smuggling scheme went down at the end of 2012, when McCleary and Mosch, a car mechanic, hopped on a six-day cruise to Jamaica and Grand Cayman on December 17, the Sun Sentinel reports.

In Jamaica, they met a local dealer named "Rob Roy" and then went to separate hotel rooms to gulp down the dozens of cocaine pellets. But unbeknownst to Mosch, McLeary pulled the old stuffaroo-in-the-pooper maneuver and didn't actually swallow any drugs himself.

Mosch, unsurprisingly, began feeling terrible and spent the rest of the cruise half-unconscious. After McLeary took him to his house in Boynton Beach, he spent days collapsed in McLeary's garage suffering stomach cramps while his buddy pumped him full of laxatives, trying to recover the Jamaican booty from Mosch's booty.

Police found Mosch hanging on for dear life as he lay in a driveway on Christmas Eve. One of the said 87 bags of booger sugar had burst -- as bags of plastic tend to do when submerged in stomach acid -- sending Mosch to death's doorstep.

Mosch has been recovering ever since, even pooping one pellet of cociane while police interviewed him in the hospital. Another 82 were removed during surgery. For those of you counting at home, that leaves four that went into his colostomy bag after surgery.

Mosch has finally recovered enough to attend court hearings. He and McLeary face federal drug conspiracy charges.

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Anton Houston
Anton Houston

where the hell do you get these stories!! that's a good one LOL

Tanya C Davis
Tanya C Davis

but the pic of the cat at the end of the all that "snow" is fucking hilarious

Ryan Yousefi
Ryan Yousefi

I'd love to see Taylor Swift make a song about this.

Tamara Munoz Cid
Tamara Munoz Cid

some people are so useless... have no real sense of life.

Janet Vargas
Janet Vargas

" trying to recover the Jamaican booty from Mosch's booty". This is the best thing I've ever read.

Joe LaDuca
Joe LaDuca

I hope we get to pay for his medical bills.. It's the least we can do.

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