Ten Things Miami's Terrible Drivers Need to Learn

Categories: Road Rage

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Miami is notorious for its bad drivers. We know that it would be futile to try and teach you (yes, you) about things like the "speed limit" and that there is a difference between a yellow light and a freshly turned green light, but we figured someone should at least give you assholes a bit of a refresher course. Perhaps you've merely forgotten some things since you took your driver's license test (assuming you ever did take one), so here, have a quick refresher course.

1. You have something on the side of your steering wheel that looks like this:

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It's called a turning signal switch. When activated, it will make lights on either side of your car blink like this:
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You activate these "blinkers" as they're called to inform your fellow motorists of your intention to change lanes or make a turn. Sure, we understand sometimes it may seem silly, like when you're in a clearly marked turning lane, but they do come in handy for things like four-way stops, changing lanes on the interstate, and when you're speeding through a yellow light like a bat out of hell while making a left turn. Try to at least familiarize yourself with them.

Let this dog be your guide:

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2. That arrangement of white stripes painted on the road is a crosswalk. That yellow diamond is a yield sign.

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If you see a person walking through one of these as you are about to drive through, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO STOP AND LET THEM PASS. This does not mean speed up in order to beat the pedestrian before he enters your lane (we have seen this a few times when people literally in wheelchairs and walkers are crossing roads). This does not mean honk at or flip off the pedestrian. This does not mean completely ignore it. This means stop your car and avoid hitting another human being.


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66 comments
anon
anon

Isn't it supposed to be 1 car length for every 10 mph you're travelling?  

LearntoDrive
LearntoDrive

"The law is the driver to the left gets the right of way."  WRONG.  The driver ON the left YIELDS to the driver on the RIGHT.  If you have to look to your right to see the other driver, THEY get the right of way. Please check your facts.

LearntoDrive
LearntoDrive

"The law is the driver to the left gets the right of way."  WRONG.  The driver ON the left YIELDS to the driver on the RIGHT.  If you have to look to your right to see the other driver, THEY get the right of way. Please check your facts.

Glenn Miller
Glenn Miller

Seems like a simple concept but some people are just inconsiderate morons and there all over the world... not just in Miami....but Dade County should be annexed / exiled anyway

mizuho
mizuho

And I'll stop for  in crosswalks but you idiots have to use them I'll hit a mother fucker crossing in front of on coming traffic not  a crosswalk. Especially you Haitians on west dixie highway.

Winnie Smith
Winnie Smith

I renewed my license today - YAY!!! Good for another 8 years and the picture actually came out good.

Parker Lewton
Parker Lewton

miami also needs to learn that a signal indicates intention, not right-of-way

paulxl7
paulxl7

This one is for Hialeah, Medley, Doral etc..... WHAT PART OF DO NOT BLOCK INTERSECTION DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?

newme305
newme305

#8. keep your hands off the latter*.. 

p.beck
p.beck

7. If you attempt to get off a highway exit here, you are an asshole.

IMO, if you DON'T exit the highway there, skipping the entire line, you're a dope

Tya Eachus
Tya Eachus

I've heard 30% of Miami Drivers don't have Drivers Licenses. With all the DUI checkpoints around town ... How about a Driver's License check point to get the fools off the streets.

Frank Castle
Frank Castle

@jesse nope its just cubans, everyone knows it, so shut up

fpscc
fpscc

i need this as a map pull out to show to people.  i went to a cvs a month ago an a woman in a bmw who did not have a handicap placard parked vertically across two handicap parking spaces.  how selfish can you be? yes, i shamed her in to moving

Louis Wing
Louis Wing

Emmm.. I think maybe I dont use dat ting. chu know?

Giovanni Imperial
Giovanni Imperial

Many of them are not from the states and used to driving recklessly in their native lands. They ain't got stringent laws back in those countries! Animals on the streets

Lauren Kathryn
Lauren Kathryn

Blocking the crosswalk at a red light...while making a right turn..AHHHHH!

Annie Milewski
Annie Milewski

this is done here in Chicago as well along with Mexico City being in the top 5.. so dont sweat it people of Miami, you are not alone...this article is a waste of the bloggers time..

Lauren Kathryn
Lauren Kathryn

I am a pedestrian and almost get hit during the proper crosswalk because ignorant ppl turn left during the green light and only look out for other cars. Also slow the fk down when you're making a right turn and someone is crossing NOT J WALKING...thank you...you all know who you are.

Mark Simpson
Mark Simpson

my favorite is people reversing on the highway so they can go to the exit they missed. Also, minivans need to be banned from the fast lane.

Monya SoAmazing Holt
Monya SoAmazing Holt

i literally jumped out of my car at a red light in aventura after a benz cut me off twice without signaling nearly causing an accident, tapped on his window and said " you know they make turn signals right!?"

Jesse Macia
Jesse Macia

Donnie, you had to pull the Cuban card, how about all the other nationalities!!

eddie_nashton
eddie_nashton

Hey Kyle, why don't you just move back to whatever podunk you came from and take your condescending patronizing attitude with you. White boys like you can't cope with a town like this - that and you're not witty your insulting and offensive. Not to mention that you are probably the worst kind of person a hypocrite to boot - and just so you know ... no one in Miami drives on the beach that's all tourist cocksuckers ~ like your Mom :-D Eat Shit and Die

Sara Marks
Sara Marks

I don't use turning signals- its no one's business where I am going! :P

Cary Gonzalez
Cary Gonzalez

You missed a large portion of assholic Miami drivers who think it's a really good idea to slam on the brakes to make the tailgater back off....

Jany D'Vahle
Jany D'Vahle

Can they learn it? Miami is ruled by diversity which includes language barrier, immigration status, etc. What about the thousands driving without a driver's license or the ones who can't read English?

Frank Castle
Frank Castle

Driving Reminder: pedestrians ALWAYS have the right of way and always look out for scooters and motorcycles !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ariana Hernandez Reguant
Ariana Hernandez Reguant

many people actually don't seem to know that you can do right on red from right lane unless stated otherwise. tourists should get a basic driving-rules introduction sheet along with their boarding passes.

Frank Castle
Frank Castle

this goes for the stupid cuban drivers in miami...thank you for sharing this, already re-posted this on my newsfeed

Anthonyvop1
Anthonyvop1 topcommenter

The main reason some tailgate is because wussies like you are driving toooooooooo fucking slow.

Get out of the way.  Especially if you are in the left lane.

Oh  And if you cannot drive and talk on the phone at the same time I don't want you behind the wheel at all.

jgcamp99
jgcamp99

Proper following distance is a 2 second rule, add a second for every adverse condition, that is a second for rain, a second for the stupid driver tailgating others and braking every 2 car lengths. I can see & hear them now, they read it on the MNT that they only need about a car length and then go apply this new knowledge on I-95 at 70 mph ?

MNT, trying to educate people who are too stupid to understand this when they took driver's ed in HS. LOL, same with me too, the stupid one's you can't save and you can't control who you draw everyday in traffic. Learn how to spot these types and stay away from them, eventually they weed themselves out of the game as traffic fatalities or totaled accidents.

Crystal Gi
Crystal Gi

*it's funny how* I was a bit annoyed while typing that with my phone lol

Eddie James
Eddie James

Since coming to a conplete stop will never happen, maybe we can get people to at least Slow Down before making a right on red also.

Jenny Figueras Wake
Jenny Figueras Wake

you forgot roundabouts and what miami drivers do when intersections are broken (grab the door, hit the gas, and hold on for dear life.)

Crystal Gi
Crystal Gi

Great article, the only addendum I would make is when people think that the passing is their personal lane to do the speed limit or under. It's how that hold up traffic in the passing lane then get pissed off if you have to find an alternate route around them and THEN decide to speed up in an attempt to block you. Most of these drivers need to grow up and get over the mindset that they own the damn road.

Lon Allen
Lon Allen

Yes! how about a Spanish version for our Latin American friends?

Eddie James
Eddie James

I used to signal to change lanes, but have learned south florida drivers take that as a challenge. "you're not gonna get in front of ME!"

Michael Thomas
Michael Thomas

Turn signals? Merging? That's just some fidelista shit right there.

mizuho
mizuho

@p.beck and youre one that needs to get hit by a train.

mizuho
mizuho

@eddie_nashton well if you are going to be ignorant and racist then if Haitian niggers, who don't live on beach would be given a driving test when they move over here we wouldn't have this problem. go back to school and get your shit straight. because it goes both ways. and im glad im white. because when they invent time machines I'll be able to travel back fartherr than the 1850's.

jgcamp99
jgcamp99

@Cary Gonzalez Well, the driving schools teach you to slow down if someone tailgates you, so it's gonna happen whether someone brakes hard or just coasts down to a slower speed. Tailgater is still too stupid to figure that out.

mizuho
mizuho

@Donnie Donnie  if they are on a crosswalk then yes. if not then no. that is jaywalking. illegal and not my fault if i fucking hit you.

mizuho
mizuho

@Donnie Donnie its mostly haitians that drive this way actually.

mizuho
mizuho

@Anthonyvop1 you shouldnt be on the phone and drive but then again you for saying that should get hit by a train.

jgcamp99
jgcamp99

@Anthonyvop1 While I agree that all it takes is one slow driver in  the left lane, in general not everyone is slow or even wants to go slow. I've had cars so close that I can't see their headlights or hood in the rear view mirror while driving a mid size SUV and trust me I was doing at least the speed limit. I have no reason to stop or even use/tap my brakes in the left lane unless someone else is stopping for no reason, I drive the Palmetto end to end (I have no issues with sharing the road as long as you go and just keep moving, so stay out of that lane unless you are going end to end as well, otherwise they'll start charging a toll because you're too stupid to keep traffic moving ?) . There are some that will tailgate regardless of the speed of traffic flow being close to what is posted. And there are more than a few that try to poach a better position in traffic, they'll drive up slowly in the left lanes and then try to wedge their car in to jump the line from those who have waited their turn. They know who they are and as long as others reward them by letting them in for that behavior it'll continue.

Anthonyvop1
Anthonyvop1 topcommenter

@jgcamp99  

At least the speed limit?   You are part of the problem!!!   The Left lane isn't to go fast.  It is to Pass.  If you are in the left lane and somebody is behind you wanting to go faster.........MOVE OVER!!!

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