Heat Beat Pacers 114-96, Snatch Back Home-Court Advantage

Categories: Sports

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Nobody makes the Miami Heat bleed their own blood. Once again the Heat followed one of those rare annoying things people call "a loss" with an epic ass-stomping performance, this time a 114-96 game three win over Indiana. Miami's shooting was locked in all night, led by Udonis Haslem who finished 8-9 from the field for 17 huge points. LeBron James finished with a team high 22, while Dwyane Wade dropped 18 on the Pacers tall asses.

Players not named "Big 3" shot 55.5% on the night, which for those of you not familiar with NBA means good. Birdman once again was perfect from the field, going 4-4 which brings him to 13-13 for the series, which brings him to 34-40 in the playoffs, which brings him to having sex with your girlfriend and you being like "I'm good with this".

The most important stat of the night would have to be the Heat turning the ball over just five times. The first few games the Heat were careless as all hell with the ball, Sunday night was the complete opposite. When the Miami Heat turns the ball over just five times you have yourself a big problem on your hands and it's best to begin anus preparation.

With the win Miami swipes back the home court advantage the Pacers stole from them Friday night, and move two wins from advancing to their third straight NBA Finals -- this thing will never work! The win sets up a huge game Tuesday night. A win on the Pacers home court would send the series back to Miami for 2 of the next 3 with our Heat needing just a single win to advance. A loss brings it home tied and makes it a best of three series. Miami is still undefeated on the road during this playoff run, while Sunday was the Pacers first home loss of the playoffs.

Heat fans have given Udonis Haslem crap for not being the consistent player they grew to love for the past decade, and those fans (me included) need to shut our stupid word holes. One thing you can be sure Udonis brings to the table every night is his toughness, something badly needed in a series where the Heat are much smaller. LeBron called Udonis "the heart beat of this team" after the game, not the first time you have heard UD described that way. The man has the state of Florida tattooed on his back, you give him some God damn respect.

The Heat dropped a SEVENTY SPOT on the Pacers in the first half. Get. Buckets.

David West led the Pacers with 21, while Roy Hibbert continued to be the Miami Heat's real Dad, killing them once again this time going 20 and 10. If Miami is to advance, you get the feeling it's going to either continue to shoot the tits off the ball like it did Sunday, or figure out a freaking way to get Hibbert out of their lives. The Heat did however do a great job on everyone's favorite rising star Paul George, who finished just 3-10 from the floor for 13 points. You hold George to three made FGs, you win the game nine times out of ten. Also if you hold George to three made shots, the Heat should sign you.

Look for the Pacers to come out with a lot more emotion Tuesday, knowing damn well winning two of the next three against a team that hasn't lost two straight games in more than four months is pretty unlikely to happen. I would also look for LeBron to bring the good shit Tuesday, the waters are full of chum and you just know these are the kinds of situations he has grown to bring the nasty death hammer to.

Six more wins until double decker buses with waving Heat players! Weeeeeeeee!!!

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2 comments
david
david

I know it's become something of a 'signature style' for New Times but is there a chance that ANY sports-related story can be reported without constant allusions to anal rape or a dozen other childish sexual fixations?

Seriously, what may have once been an occasional funny and expletive-filled exception to dry, vanilla reporting has now become numbingly predictable, boringly repetitive infantile pablum. It's just way more of a copycat thing now than anything original.

I'm anything BUT a prude, but this has just become silly. Are you guys writing about basketball or a male prison?

Peter Traini
Peter Traini

and honestly should dwayne wade be suspended for his flying elbow in game 2?yes or no

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