Heat Rally Past Bulls In Fourth, Advance to East Finals With 94-91 Win

Categories: Sports

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Big offense early and tough defense late helped the Heat close out the Bulls 94-91 Wednesday night to advance to the Eastern Conference Finals. LeBron finished with 23 points, seven rebounds, and eight assists, leading the Heat who will face the winner of the Knicks-Pacers series that Indiana currently leads three games to one.

The first few minutes were the balls. Miami got out to a 10-0 lead, and it was 22-4 before half the crowd even got in their seats. Miami brought the entire bag of kickassery to the first six minutes, it was impressive, then they proceeded to roll over and go to sleep -- it's as if they modeled this game after how I have sex. Chicago took the Heat's six minutes of fury to the chin, and promptly answered with a 34-14 run that would make the most patient of Heat fan open their sliding glass window, run outside, and throw their remote control at a random person walking their dog.

Carlos Boozer was the main reason Miami had to use the rare double flush on the Bulls, finishing with 26 points, 14 rebounds, and 74 "AND 1's!" Nate Robinson broke out of your standard 0-16 slump to score 21 points, including four of his token "has no business making, hand gesture to face celebration" threes that make you wish you had a key to his Hotel room so you could poop in the sink. Derrick Rose finished with, oh yeah, hahahahahahaha. Other stupid Bulls players did things that I won't waste your time telling you about because they no longer matter. On the bright side every single Bulls player can take their kid to school EVERYDAY now. Dads of the year!

And now for a look at a Bulls fans reaction to his team being eliminated from the NBA Playoffs, enjoy.

Dwyane Wade screwed back on his kneecap just in time to help the Heat overcome the 77-69 fourth quarter deficit they were faced with, finishing 7-13 from the floor for 18 points. He will now get at least four days to rest his knee, and possibly six, depending on whether the Knicks can stay alive and prolong their series in Indiana.

Wade didn't look like himself early but was able to tape his kneecap to his inner thigh long enough to make some clutch plays down the stretch. To recap, Dwyane Wade plays through pain, Derrick Rose waits until he is 101 percent and watched Unbreakable 37 times because he is uncomfortably obsessed with Bruce Willis.

After the game Dwyane Wade said of his play "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't." That's what she said, hey-yo!

The play of the game belonged to Norris Cole, and if you look at the score when it happened, it couldn't have come at a better time. Norris Cole forever, it's a Cole Cole World ya'll.

The Miami Heat have now improved to 1-0 when Jayden and Will Smith sit courtside looking confused while wearing hats in unconventional ways . Last season in this same situation the Heat struggled so it was good to see them break through. They should be confident if faced with the same situation later in the playoffs.

Eight down, eight to go.

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3 comments
drakemallard
drakemallard topcommenter

And today in sports, a black man somewhere ran with a ball and jumped with a ball and threw a ball and people got really excited as if they hadn't seen it a million times before... ...Next, we'll pretend like we can predict the weather...

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7MC6yseBGU


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