Critical Mass Reaction: Ranking Comments From Most Commonsensical to Batsh*t Crazy

Categories: Bike Blog

Michael E. Miller
This week's news story about Critical Mass argues that Miami cops and motorists need to get over their anger and support the monthly cycling event.

Many readers, um, disagreed, to put it politely. Some said they'd share the road when bikers stopped breaking the law. One swore he would pimp out his cars just to slaughter cyclists. It all goes to prove our point: We need to figure this shit out quickly, Miami, before someone else gets run over and killed.

Here are some comments from New Times readers, ranked from most commonsensical to craziest.

See also: Critical Mass: It's Time for Miami Police and Motorists to Respect Bike Riders

The Commonsensical:

Deep thoughts, avcaro9573. Yes, we should all be ashamed of ourselves. And no, we shouldn't be fighting. But did you really move to Florida -- land of face-eating zombies, Stand Your Ground, and Rick Scott -- thinking that people here were "conscious and civilized"? We are the state equivalent of a sea cucumber: brainless but ready to fight.

Well put.

Words so wise we n'er spoken by someone named Twisted Sister.

The Logically Questionable:


Let's tackle these two at once. We get it. It's annoying as a law-obeying driver to see cyclists fly through red lights. It seems unfair. But do you feel the same way when a funeral procession passes by? Do you angrily honk and try to cut them off? Because, apart from the corpse, the logic behind both is the same: It's ultimately faster and easier for a long line of cyclists (or cars full of mourners) to get to one place if they stay together. If cops were there to cork the intersections, Critical Mass could fly by in ten minutes and you'd be happily on your way.

Now you're just being cruel.

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robert.n.nielsen topcommenter

Hey new times, thanks for acknowlededing my comment! Thanks. Sadly the difference between critical mass or just a large group of cyclist at 7am passing near key biscayne and a funeral is that I rarley have to deal with a funeral. I have to deal with these pompus ass cyclists every damn morning!

HarryTheHandyman topcommenter

"You sound like someone who twisted the heads off of grasshoppers as a kid."


"Do you have anger issues?"


"Uncontrollable rages?"


Thanks for your concern.  Looking forward to the next puff piece from you or some of your more untalented, yet somehow still employed, staff.

Anyone who thinks positively of the way this lawless fuckfest of an event is run is an asshole.  It brings negative attention to bicyclists.  Clogging up roads and pissing people off isn't the best way to bring a positive light to your cause.

Amanda Drewniak
Amanda Drewniak

Lol there are bike lanes in downtown. Newtimes is full of shit. I was quoted in the article. But I also have said cyclists need to follow traffic rules. Why do cyclists believe the are above the law?

Kenny Southwell
Kenny Southwell

I fully support law enforcement to, you know, enforce the laws. These idiots have no right to purposely disrupt traffic. I wonder if New Times has mentioned all the violence that has been instigated by CM riders?

Joseph F. Carney III
Joseph F. Carney III

Just reading this article alone and not knowing the full story..when ibwas a kid in the 70's we wouldvride everywhere on our bikes. We stayed away from overcrowded traffic jammed streets as best we could. When we couldnt we stayed away from the cars ways cause they could kill us if we screwed up..simple..we would ride out 103rd st the death alley or as you know it State Rd.27, and would ride all the way tp Clewiston...amongst semis and crazy cars racing north..never an incident..didnt even own a helmet or 300 dollar biking shoes. bikers are wimps now and they need to understand that the roads are made for cars so they are not top of food chain. Scare the shot outta one and help them understand and everyone will get along..

Anthonyvop1 topcommenter

Saying you blew up my argument doesn't make it true.


@HarryTheHandyman So true. NewTimes just wants to start a riot. They rather have people hurt over having a peaceful solution. Which is :

a. get an event permit if it is an event

b. follow traffic laws

c. cyclists you are not a victim, stop being whiny assholes.


@Victoria Dee You are generalizing the cycling community. Many of us follow the traffic rules. Do you follow all the traffic rules? Because everyday when I drive these crazy streets of Miami, I see entitled motorists breaking all sorts of rules, the main one being breaking the speed limit and texting behind the wheel. There is a law that you must give cyclists three feet clearance when passing by them. If only we could stop blaming each other and learn how to coexist on the streets. Also, Critical Mass is the last Friday of every month from 7-9pm and all the news outlets report on it, giving you enough time to prepare a different route. I think its a great event and a wonderful way to see Miami and brings awareness of the cycling community. All of you criticizing it, should participate in it one month. 

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