Florida's Ten Worst High-School Mascots

Categories: Sports

Ah, high school -- easier times for most of us. Our daily concerns back then seem so insignificant now. Your biggest worry was making sure you weren't bored and somehow stayed awake through terrible classes. Also, most things that were hilarious back then don't seem so funny anymore.

Our compilation of Florida's ten worst high-school mascots is not one of those things, however. These are real mascots that range from ridiculous to asinine to downright not intimidating. Some of these schools must have good reasons for their choices, but that won't stop us from laughing about it.

10. The Conchs -- Key West High School
Let's begin with pointing out the obvious fact that being "the Conchs" is not exactly the greatest brag at a track meet. Conchs are sea snails. Is there anyone afraid of a snail? You could bury me in a roomful of snails, and my worst problem would be that it smells like ass in there. Leave me in said room for a week, and you would return to find I ate the shit out of them and I'm just fine. You know why I was able to kill them all? Because they can't even defend themselves. If you are something I can pick up and punt into the ocean, you are not intimidating; you're a rock with a booger inside.

via Broward Christian High School
9. The Ambassadors -- Broward Christian High School
"Hey, man, you don't want to sack me. Let's talk this out." Nothing like being named for a nonviolent person with "ass" right there in the word. KICK THEIR ASS, AMBASS... uhh... dors!" I'm sure there is some sort of history behind this, but for now they just sound like a bunch of guys who keep score, not dominate on the playing field. WE KEEP SCORE! WE TALK IT OUT!

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The author is a flying loser....


The author is a flying loser.


This article is unintentionally hilarious. "Seabreeze" is one word. "Sandcrabs" is one word. "High School" should not be hyphenated in the headline, as it is not a modifier in this instance. I could go on and on with how poorly this article is written and edited. I don't think this writer should make fun of these high schools when they clearly did not receive any formal education after fifth grade.


A former Sandcrab and an editor.


Fuck you Miami News Times. 

Do your research, Kissimmee Kowboys is that for threee reason: 

1. K = Kissimmee. 

2. It is the first high school established in Kissimmee.

3. Kissimmee is historically known as a cowboy/rancher town. 

Do your research. 


If you did your research, you would understand that "Kowboys" is spelled with a "K" because the school is in "K"issimmee, Fl.


Yea, I was a Fighting Tarpon. Never heard the tampon joke but rather those that went *sniff sniff* "I smell fish." In all reality, a tarpon is a large game fish, there are actually Tarpon fishing tournaments here on the west coast because of the fight these guys put up. Their nickname, the Silver King. I'm pretty good with that. If your mascot is going to be a fish, well I suppose I'd want one that was known for putting up a great fight. Ring any bells with the east coast... MLB??

Carolina Tannhauser
Carolina Tannhauser

Hitide Harry didn't make it to first place? Our mascot is looking like something from a horror film with those red eyes, ah! Worse than a hobo, much worse.

drakemallard topcommenter

no  booker t washington high school miami a fucking Tornado

wtf the Nathan Bedford Forrest High School Rebels (Jacksonville, FL) 

 Who is Nathan Bedford Forrest? Just a general in the Confederate Army. Oh, and also the founder of the Ku Klux Klan.

TK Small
TK Small

Key West Conchs is a great nickname, how about bad highschool names- Hollywood Hills??? wheres the hills?

Anthonyvop1 topcommenter

lack of knowledge of basic  history and biology on your part does not give you carte blanche to be snarky without people like me pointing out your ignorance.

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