Florida Couple Breaks Into School for Sex, Then Bashed Vending Machine for "Beer Munchies"

Categories: WTF Florida

ewellandlongbottom.jpg
We've all been in that situation when our body's saying let's go, but our heart is saying, "Wait a minute, we don't actually have a place to have sex right now."

That didn't stop Vincent Ewell, 18, and Lindsay Longbottom, 19, of Daytona Beach. They decided to break into a school to have sex, and then vandalized the vending machines because they got "beer munchies."

Sure. "Beer" munchies.

According to WFTV, the pair set off a triggered alarm during their impromptu rendezvous at Mainland High School. When police arrived they found open doors and the vandalized vending machine. They then heard breaking glass and later found the couple trying to get into a car to get away.

The couple used the "beer munchies" excuse to explain the broken vending machines, but there excuse as to why they broke into the school in the first place was even better.

They needed a place where Longbottom's boyfriend wouldn't find them to get it on.

It's almost ironic they chose a school because it would seem they didn't pay much attention when they were actually students. Wouldn't they realize schools are alarmed and responding to those alarms are going to be a top priority for police? Wouldn't they then realize if they got caught the local news would be all over it and Longbottom's boyfriend, and the rest of the town for that matter, would find out?

Good Lord, you're better off parking your car somewhere quiet and going at it.

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