Miami Heat Twitter Breakdown: LeBron Reigns, Haslem Is Boring, Battier Follows Only Nine People

Categories: Sports

The NBA season is still a month away, but already Miami is bubbling with news about our back-to-back champion ballers. Michael Beasley has returned, hopefully minus the marijuana habit. Draft pick James Ennis is already king of the koalas. And you might soon be able to buy a jersey with "Jesus Shuttlesworth" on the back.

We here at New Times have taken the off-season to do some studying. We've trolled the Heat's Twitter accounts to bring you a player-by-player breakdown. Here are some nuggets of Heat wisdom, such as the fact that Shane Battier follows only nine people -- and one of them is his wife.


LeBron James:
There's a reason the King is tops of the Twitterverse with nearly 10 million followers: Unlike many celebs, he actually tweets personal stuff, including snapshots from his honeymoon and homages to recently departed childhood friends.

Dwyane Wade:
Philosophical selfies and fashion experiments.

Chris Bosh:
Chris Bosh. Two-time champion. Twitter's self-proclaimed "coolest dude alive." World traveler. And time-traveling velociraptor.

Who the hell knows where this was taken? Only the Bosh.

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