Dear Basketball Press, the Miami Heat Don't Play in South Beach

miamiviceheat.jpg
Hey Basketball Press,

How you doing? Remember us? We're the ones who told you to stop picking on Miami Fans (as well as some other gripes we might have aired over the years). Listen, we know this kind of seems nitpicky, but we're heading into year four of this and it's really starting to get annoying. So, we'd really just like to inform you of the factual information that the Miami Heat don't play in South Beach.

Quick geography lesson: Colloquially you can call anything in Miami-Dade County "Miami." That's fine, but there is an actual city of Miami in the center of it all. In fact, that's where the American Airlines Arena is. That's where the Heat play. The downtown area of the city of Miami.

Now South Beach is part of the city of Miami Beach. Technically, a distinct city.

Here, let us show you a map.

heatsouthbeachmap.jpg
Kinda close, except for that giant bay in between.

Yet, somehow you seem to keep implying that the Heat play in South Beach.

OK, we understand that LeBron announced his decision to sign with the Miami Heat by announcing he's taking his talents to South Beach. We know. We watched. The joke is old.

Plus, you guys are supposed to be something like journalists. You're supposed to traffic in facts.

And, you know, it just kind of comes off as disrespectful. The vast majority of this team's hometown fans don't live in South Beach. Hell, you want to see some of the most impassioned post-championships celebrations head out to Hialeah or Calle Ocho come next June.

Lots of NBA teams play in cities with famous neighborhoods or districts, but we don't hear you talking about the Times Square Knicks, the Williamsburg Nets, The Hollywood Lakers ... the Cinderella's Castle Magic. It's time to cool it with all the South Beach talk when it comes to the Heat.

Sincerely,
Miami

P.S. While we're at it we'd like to point out that the Miami area has plenty of other fine restaurants to offer besides Prime One Twelve, but maybe that's another post.

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24 comments
GIM.
GIM.

so true!

HarryTheHandyman
HarryTheHandyman topcommenter

"Plus, you guys are supposed to be something like journalists. You're supposed to traffic in facts"

The fact that you, of all people, just said this to someone is hilarious.

Jesse Laier
Jesse Laier

It's like when WWE announced Wrestlemania was in Miami and all the tourists booked their hotels in Miami or Miami Beach when it was actually in Miami Gardens!

markee67
markee67

Please, don't let them know about our other great restaurants, let them fill up that crappy, overpriced collection of truffle oil dishes at Prime 112

D.f. Basora
D.f. Basora

you hear downtown miami and you think homeless people, a somewhat viable business district and that's about it. you hear sobe and you think beach, sun, nightclubs and parties. is it the media's fault or the city/county's?

Seth Brawer
Seth Brawer

Thank you!! That drives me absolutely insane

Vince Witty
Vince Witty

Dude who the fuck cares. Wow. Seriously if youee annoyed by hearing "south beach" when youre team is going for a 3peat you need to step away from the tv.

Micah Lee
Micah Lee

college football is doing the "Miami Beach Bowl" in Little Havana

Ed Ochoa
Ed Ochoa

They actually play on the other side of the bay

Danny Garcia
Danny Garcia

no they dont play on sobe. They play within a 5 minute drive to the beach. In fact you can see the beach from parts of the building so close enough i guess

pod_nt
pod_nt topcommenter

It's such a huge fucking pet peeve of mine. Metropolitan Miami is made up of thirty some-odd distinctive municipalities, each with it's own character and flavor. It's borderline insulting to be lumped in with the banality of South Beach. How would a Brooklynite like it if I suggested that Williamsburg was part of Manhattan? 

It's not too difficult to figure out either. Google is your friend, and if you are here in the area, just look at the street signs, or look for when the cop cars change colors. Black & Whites on the Beach and white with the blue go-fast stripes in the City of Miami. 

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