Love-Child Daddy Dan Marino to "Restore Respect" to Dolphins

Categories: Reality Bites

Try not to laugh when you read this. The Dolphins, whom the Bucs clobbered last night, are in an obvious tailspin. So now, following l'affaire Incognito, team owner Stephen Ross, who solemnly declared himself "appalled" yesterday, has assembled a few Men of Honor to Restore Respect to the Dolphins.

These men include Don Shula, who lives on the ultra-exclusive and sometimes anti-Semitic Indian Creek Village, and none other than Dan Marino, CBS stalwart and the father of a love baby.

These are the men who will restore the dignity to the organization?

Earlier this year, a New York Post exposé on Marino's personal life plunged his infamously squeaky-clean image into some muddy waters. The findings? In late 2004, Marino knocked up a 35-year-old CBS production assistant named Donna Savattere, who gave birth to a daughter in June 2005.

Marino then paid her off to keep quiet. At the time, it was unclear exactly how much dough the father of six and longtime husband gave her, but it was apparently a substantial haul. She split her time between a home on the Upper West Side and a place in the Hamptons, where she hatched into quite the social butterfly.

"This is a personal and private matter," Marino said at the time. "I take full responsibility both personally and financially for my actions now as I did then. We mutually agreed to keep our arrangement private to protect all parties involved."

The best part? None of the local sports journalists -- who all let the story be plucked by an outlet 1,300 miles away -- seemed to care. Enter sports columnist Dave Hyde, who wrote a homage to Marino called "My Life in Football" at exactly the same time the quarterback was impregnating a woman who was not his wife. Hyde summed it up thusly: Go easy on the guy, will ya? He's flawed. Like all of us.

"It's always uncomfortable traipsing through someone else's private affairs," Hyde sighed in an interview, before extolling the "hundreds of thousands" Marino has helped. "As much as Marino is a public figure," Hyde continued, "there's a seamy side to this."

That sentiment is exactly what's wrong with sports journalism and in part explains the national umbrage over the Incognito imbroglio. We've all become tacit participants in a conspiracy to lionize our athletes -- with talking heads and "journalists" serving a narrative that we quickly gobble down.

But this episode involving Dolphin owner Stephen Ross is an especially juicy slice.

It won't be long before football pundits are discussing the happenings exclusively in cliché. Men like Marino have been brought in to "do their part" as onetime "locker room leaders" and restore prestige "both on and off the field" to the bewildered franchise.

Then the local journalists will funnel those same ideas straight back into the column inches. The Miami Herald's front page headline this morning? "Restoring Respect: Shula, Marino to help."

Send your story tips to the author, Terrence McCoy.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

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Austin Heffernan
Austin Heffernan

This author must be a living saint to be slinging that much mud at the greatest quarterback of all time.

Bill Brock
Bill Brock

I'd rather nail my balls to the ground than watch American football. ;-)

Bill Brock
Bill Brock

Pro & college football is like a cancer on American society. It should be excised, not subsidized.

frankd4 topcommenter

MIAMI is the nations largest big POOR city with half the children housing and or food INSECURE - and here "restoring respect" to the DOLPHINs is a main issue ? ! ?

how about restoring respect to the voting system, the education system, the banking system, government of the people of HIALEAH, OPA LOCKA, downtown MIAMI, South Beach, Miami Beach ?

greedy real estate developers pay off seedy elected officials so that luxury high rise buildings can become laundry operations for geo-narco drug kingpins ! and the local "experts" point to a miraculous return of the "market" because of "buyer financing" which means sight-unseen units selling for north of $700 per square foot ALL CASH wired in from south american LLCs as to evade inquiry

one third of MIAMI is in the drug related industry and another third is in the "screw-the-tourist" industry - sunny skies and shaddy people - and we want steroid-fueled brain-damaged rich spoiled neanderthals to act "civilized"

the MIAMI DOLPHINs will NEVER be like the GREEN BAY PACKERs = period


So the problem with sports journalism is that it doesn't delve deeply enough into the sex lives of athletes? Yes, please, more stories about who Dan Marino is fucking.

Kathleen Pagan
Kathleen Pagan

By deflecting attention away from our freefall on the field with more of his douchbaggyness???? ... Sure Dan give us a hand, you sure couldn't get us a ring, and all your precious stats are falling like your reputation!!!


He's bringing together the only people who know about the org and how it was run for extensive period of time. Personal character flaw don't take away from that as much as this snarky article attempts to do.

Cary Gonzalez
Cary Gonzalez

Sure, because his leadership got us those Super Bowl wins...oh wait...

Susana Navajas
Susana Navajas

Jorge Martinez, because of the status you wrote; i tagged you in this. haha

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