Dolphins vs. Chargers: Louis CK Reacts to Five Things You Should Watch

Categories: Sports

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Prior to the Monday-night game against the winless Buccaneers, Dolphins players swore up and down that all this drama for your mama would bring them closer together and propel them to a statement win in front of a national audience. Loyal Dolphins fans pointed their loyal Dolphins finger in your chest and told you: "This. Will. Unite them!"

Yeah, not so much.

Instead, the Dolphins (4-5) fell behind 12-0 before losing for the fifth time in six games 22-19. You have to give the team a little credit for flipping the script on you this season, instead winning the totally meaningless games TO BEGIN the season, rather than TO CLOSE IT. Well played, Miami Dolphins.

IT'S FOOTBALL FRIDAY!!! LET'S GOOOOOO!!!!

F R I D A Y S M I L E

5. Will Ryan Tannehill continue to take a pounding?
It's not terrible enough that the Dolphins have allowed the most sacks in the league (37), but they also seem to come in bunches, at the worst time, like acne before graduation pictures or something. The Dolphins refuse to move Tannehill around and constantly call predictable plays, which is not helping Tannehill stay clean.

Tannehill, if given any time at all, has a chance to succeed this week, as the Chargers have allowed the last two QBs they've faced to complete 70.5 percent of their passes for 621 yards. One of them was Peyton Manning, but still, it's a stat, so it's true, kinda.

4. Can Mike Wallace... nah, probably not.
This friggin' guy, I mean, friggin' guy! The Dolphins broke into the free-agency period like the Kool-Aid Man through a living-room wall, handed Mike Wallace 60 million bucks, and threw up their hands like, "What now, bitches?"

Just a few months later, they now are proud owners of the shittiest, most expensive decoy in the National Football League. Sadly, we all saw this coming. If the Dolphins can figure out a way to get Wallace involved in the offense this week, there could be plenty of room to roam against a notoriously leaky San Diego Chargers defense, one that has allowed 58 over the past two weeks.

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