Libertarian Columnist Wonders if Jonathan Martin Is Gay; Blames Obama

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Well, we've found it. The worst professionally written piece about the Dolphins' Richie Incognito mess has been identified. Congratulations to the OC Register's "libertarian humorist" Ron Hart for penning a column that is all at once racist, sexist, completely stupid, and manages to both wonder if Jonathan Martin is gay and, of course, takes a pot shot at President Obama.

Let's look at some of the especially dumb things in this Dave Barry-wannabe's column:

The Left automatically blames Incognito because two things are in play here: race and sports. 1) Incognito is white and, therefore, a racist. 2) Football is brutal, involves money, and there are winners and losers, based on merit; therefore, it is bad.

The Left is blaming Incognito? Funny, I don't remember the Socialist Worker's Party releasing a statement on the matter. Pretty sure we've reached a bipartisan consensus that Richie Incognito is mostly to blame here. Also, pretty sure no one is calling Incognito a racist simply because he's white, but because he used a loaded racial slur in a specifically racial matter to insult Martin, which is, well, something racists tend to do.

Lost in the incremental political correctness taking hold in our country is the fact that we are becoming soft. Getting eighth-place trophies for participating and misplaced praise for every little thing they do has turned kids into complete pussy willows, way over-self-esteemed. For a prime example of where this can lead, we have in the White House someone who acknowledges no faults of his own and who only blames others.

Thanks Obama!

Hazing ...is a guy thing. Women shower each other with fake, shallow compliments; guys kid you about your weaknesses. Which approach identifies problems and allows you to get better?

Women aren't nasty to each other? They don't haze each other? Has this guy ever seen an episode of Real Housewives? Did he read that infamous "c*nt punt" sorority email? That girl made Incognito look like a teddy bear in comparison.

The offensive language both Incognito and Martin used is just how they talked. I wouldn't use it, but rap songs are worse. The First Amendment applies, even to football players.

1) Can white people just stop bringing up rap songs whenever a white person says the n-word? How fucking dense do you have to be at this point? 2) Pretty sure the First Amendment also applies to people criticizing what other people have to say.

Some have wondered whether Martin might be gay. If true, I can see why he would want to stay in the closet. It might cause him locker room problems. More gays in the NFL would be great. It would mean fewer out-of-wedlock kids and more production value in end-zone dances.

Who exactly is wondering if Martin may be gay? I'm sure there's random people on the internet wondering if Martin is gay, but if you type "Public figure's name" + "gay" into Google you'll find someone wondering if just about anyone is gay. I mean, I heard Ron Hart is gay. He does have this weird thing about dudes in tight pants and jockstraps doing end-zone dances.

He felt toughening Martin up was in his, and the team's, best interest. How do you think that process happens in the NFL? It is certainly not in a sensitivity workshop led by a Birkenstock-wearing, gluten-free, college psych professor.

The ultimate irony about this whole column is that Richie Incognito himself, by Hart's definition, is a "wussy." Have you all read that NFL.com pre-season feature on Incognito? He goes to therapy sessions and anger management classes. He sips on Arpeggio-flavored Nespresso. He enjoys the "soft, orchestral sounds of Lana Del Rey." He lives on Fort Lauderdale Beach. He takes Paxil. He meditates -- as in he took part in a Deepak Chopra 21-Day Meditation Challenge. The truth is that there are parts of Incognito that aren't that far away from "a Birkenstock-wearing, gluten-free, college psych professor."

His out-of-control hyper masculinity should not be viewed as some sort of antidote to today's supposedly wussified times, but rather the results of a deeply troubled psyche that he himself struggles to contain.

Viewed in that light, it's almost as tragic as Hart's struggle to be funny.

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25 comments
chesterfieldtitans
chesterfieldtitans

Kyle Munzenrieder.

   I'm not a Libertarian and I am black. Are you sweet in the pants? Come on, are you? If you are, then I believe you have a personal motive for you assessment of this situation. Elsewise, you should know that any pro male locker room that is at least 40% black will never except gays in there with them and the black males in said locker rooms will allow someone like Incognito to use "THE N WORD", if it will facilitate getting rid of such a person. Team ownership/management won't interfere if they want a winning team and the league can't change how real men feel about those type guys. Try changing us 'til your pink hair dye wears out. WE WON'T EXCEPT GAY MEN IN LOCKER ROOMS WITH US.

Alirox
Alirox

Ron Hart is Peckerwood, not Libertarian.

sadbuttrue
sadbuttrue

I started watching football with my dad 50+ years ago on a green screen bought from

TV Joe (who I saw in Ocala last year and he looks well) and I played for Northwestern.

Never in life have anyone witnessed two men acting like this. Face it, they're both

Gay.

sadbuttrue
sadbuttrue

I wonder if some of these idiots who blame Obama for everthing from beating their wives to

premature ejaculation get any sleep at night? All I can say to them is to accept it: a black man

did do it. Then sign up for Obamacare, it ought to be good for some type of

pschotropic drug or at least sleeping pills. Gimme a break!!!!

kellie2479
kellie2479

This column Hart wrote is both funny and thought provoking. I do not see half of what your mean and rabid response is about. He is taking the view that hazing is not all bad, and we should not judge Incognito so quickly. I would think we African Americans should identify with that.

His humor and logic is good. Just because you don't agree. You really have to stop using race as outrage at everything. This story goes deeper than that. 

kellie2479
kellie2479

I read column and it is funny and smart. Not sure where you getting all this vitrol. 

Joe LaDuca
Joe LaDuca

It's getting difficult to be sympathetic to Martin.. He's had plenty of time to step up and talk, instead of using his lawyer as a mouth piece.. Is he in some kind of Football Protection Program?

Really
Really

Maybe Ron Hart wants Martin to be gay.. Just sayin..

SethPlatt
SethPlatt topcommenter

What a douche, that is a clinical term.

stan_mute
stan_mute

"Can white people just stop bringing up rap songs whenever a white person says the n-word?"

What a sad little self-hating failure. Limply pecking out his self aggrandizing superiority while the reader sees only a whiney little homosexual writing like a second grader ("mommy? Can I take off your dress yet? I need to go make the p-word in the potty.")

Saddest of all is the fact that there is a remunerative market for anti-white (yes, "anti-racist" is indeed simply code for "anti-white") and anti-heterosexual drivel. That anyone would pay to read the thoughts of a seriously diseased mind, cognitive dissonance from hatred of white western civilizational mores and abject terror of violent black thug "culture", absurd attempts to look masculine in posed photos while soliciting treatment as a female, as much as anything this signals the extent to which our debauched society has devolved. In saner times, such a girl/boy would seek institutionalization and mind-numbing effect of chemical treatment while serving as sexual pincushion for similarly unhinged anal predators. Today, we let this sort ogle young boys while wearing female garments and spewing insane vomit into public discourse.

Carlos Cnotez Rodriguez
Carlos Cnotez Rodriguez

no lie... i thought dude was a flaming homo also... without even knowing anything about strip clubs... i just figured someone that pussy gotta love cocks lolol

Heike Tiegen
Heike Tiegen

Do people even read the article? New times isn't saying or assuming that soft means gay.

Anthonyvop1
Anthonyvop1 topcommenter

The most racist, sexist and biased column I have read in the New Times for a long time.  

  Even more insulting than Luther Campbell's racist sputum.

Alex Henderson
Alex Henderson

Actually...this was a good article...i jumped the gun, sorry about that. Your bashing of the original author was on point. My apologies.

Alex Henderson
Alex Henderson

If you are looking to hire, i'm not interested, but thank you for the offer, at least you guys are attempting to compete with your counterparts for good articles.

Terence R Waldron
Terence R Waldron

So "martin is gay" why does this line sound like the beginning of every grade school & junior high bullying episode?

Miami New Times
Miami New Times

Alex, you are so knowledgable on this subject. Please continue!

Alex Henderson
Alex Henderson

no no no, that is the REASON people are assuming, you are ASSUMING that soft and gay go together while other assume that not liking naked chicks and gay go together. What upsets me about all of your articles about this is that they are so anti incognito it is honestly aggravating. I don't know either, but i also know not to judge either of them on information that is incomplete, but you guys are really enjoying it...and honestly, yes, i'd rather have a crazy dumbass on my football team than a soft intelligent nice guy.

Miami New Times
Miami New Times

Alex, so someone not wanting to go to a strip club makes them gay? Oh my gosh, you finally figured homosexuality out. Thanks for explaining it to us!

Terence R Waldron
Terence R Waldron

And now we have it. Proof. Proof that Obama was the second gunman after all. Damn Birkenstock wearing, gluten free psych professors!

EzƦă VɅǹ
EzƦă VɅǹ

Um ... what part about the NFL and football in general isn't the biggest homo-erotic fantasy in the world?

Alex Henderson
Alex Henderson

No, we think he's gay because he was a single guy who had a problem going to strip clubs with his guys for meetings. Seriously...do you guys at miami new times even watch football or do you just like judging people? The broward new times is way better, didn't realize there was a difference until i liked you on facebook.

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