Miami Beach Cop Blames "Sexual Aid Cream" for Firing
Miami Beach cop Reinaldo Casas really wants his job back. He wants it back so badly he's willing to admit he was once an aficionado of the most embarrassing product ever.
Anyone seen my cream?
Sexual aid cream.
On February 27, the Miami Beach Police Department fired Casas -- who's been reprimanded for making "conflicting statements," missing court appearances, "excessive sick time usage," and "gross negligence" -- when he tested positive for drug use, according to his internal affairs file.
But Casas wasn't going down easy. He filed a grievance to explain how he'd tested positive for narcotic abuse. It's not drugs, he swore.
Casas's sexual prowess had been lacking, so he asked his girlfriend for advice. She had just the solution: "sexual aid cream/gel." So he slathered it on, and that was that.
But then, on January 15, he was called into the Health Center of Miami for a drug test. It was administered by Dr. Ben Droblas. Later that day, according to an internal affairs file, Droblas called Casas and delivered the news: He failed.
Casas was flabbergasted. He then evidently picked up a thesaurus to properly annotate his state of mood in a grievance he filed shortly afterward. "I was baffled, perplexed, and confused as to how these [results] could be possible," Casas wrote March 13.
"However, over time, heavy deliberation and the insight of others, I was able to pinpoint the cause," wrote Casas, who didn't return requests for comment for this story. "[It's] a sexual aid cream/gel... The sexual aid cream was provided to me by a friend to assist my sexual performance, and he never told me it contained [redacted drug name]. My girlfriend has used/applied the gel."