Dolphins at Bills: Lobster Trappin' in Buffalo Preview

Categories: Sports

The Dolphins head up to Buffalo this Sunday to take on the Bills in what is essentially a must-win situation for the Dolphins if they hope to advance unimpeded into the playoffs. It's simple: the Dolphins whack the Bills and then the Jets next weekend and they're in the playoffs for the first time since 2008. Lose either or both of these games and the MC Escher painting of playoff possibilities to get them in either too impossible or stupid to worry about. They simply must win and go 5-0 in December -- something the Dolphins have never done since they started having 17 weeks of football.

What to watch for:

1. Admiral Ackbar says....

Gah! Of course it is! Bills starter EJ Manuel is injured. So, once again, the Bills will call on practice squad-cum-Dolphins-killer Thad Lewis to line up under center. 'Pssshaawww...we're such a different Dolphins team now!' Yea, well, we thought we were pretty hot shit when the Bills came in to town last time, steamrolled our o-line then had Dan Fucking Carpenter go all schadenfreude up our asses by kicking the game winning field goal. The Dolphins cannot afford to believe the hype. They must go out there hungry and angry and pissed and snarling and beat the crap out of that very shitty Bills team. Between these last two games, this Buffalo game is the one that most screams HOLY SHIT WE CAN TOTALLY GET OVERCONFIDENT AND LOSE THIS GAME so the Dolphins must focus on Sunday and not worry about the Jets, playoffs, the Super Bowl or any of the awaiting blowjobs to come.

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Victor Gerard-Raphel
Victor Gerard-Raphel

O' Ye of little faith. Today's forecast: fair weather fans with a chance of haters rubbing it in.

Phillip Morris
Phillip Morris

We can still win the division as well. Not entirely out of the question.

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