Here Are the Hideous $3 Million Signs That Will Soon Greet Visitors to Florida

Categories: WTF Florida

welcometoflorida.jpg
Apparently these classic signs aren't good enough for Sen. Aaron Bean.
State Sen. Aaron Bean has a dream. It's a dream so kitschy it makes socks with sandals look classy. A dream so sick it could be stolen from only one place: South Carolina.

Bean wants to string a giant fake suspension bridge over all the interstates leading into our fair state. Two 30-foot towers would be connected by a 40-foot bridge bearing "Florida Welcomes You" and "Thank You for Visiting Florida" on opposite sides.

Prepare yourself, because Bean's dream is about to become our $2.8 million nightmare.

That's how much Bean estimates it will cost to build at least three signs covering I-75 and I-95 at the Georgia border and I-10 at Alabama.

"We've got a little piddly sign and we junk it all up," Bean complained to a reporter about an extant sign. "It doesn't give a welcoming entrance."

Florida_welcome_sign.jpg
Florida Department of Transportation
The new, noxious notifications are expected to be completed by the fall of 2015. But Bean says the sooner the better for his beautiful faux bridges. He readily admits to borrowing the idea from a recent trip to the capital of class: South Carolina.

"It's extremely stately. You know you're in South Carolina. They've got the flag pole. They've got huge gates on the side. You come in, you go, 'Wow, we're in South Carolina.' There's no other sign. It's just boom," he said.

A more appropriate welcome would be a long metallic tunnel with the words "Welcome to the Gunshine State!"

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18 comments
XM75
XM75

I have that image tattooed on my pubic region, when I pull my pants down I always yell "check out my peninsula!"

Exiliado
Exiliado topcommenter

Wow.

Everything must be fine and dandy in Florida when our legislators have time and money to spend in idiotic projects. 

Josi Denise
Josi Denise

I like the old ones too, vintage looking. 3 million really? I mean how many places can you actually enter the state? Are we putting them in the water for refugee swimmers too?

Jany D'Vahle
Jany D'Vahle

Politicians wasting money in stupid things! How much is going into his pocket?

whateveryousay
whateveryousay topcommenter

That one sign looks like America's wang.

Tommy Griffith
Tommy Griffith

That wasted money couldn't have been put somewhere else like schools?

Adnarim Ed Yelsek
Adnarim Ed Yelsek

Ok why does everyone just have to always have something to complain about? I don't get it. I like it.

HarryTheHandyman
HarryTheHandyman topcommenter

"Welcome to the Gunshine State!"

Perhaps that will do a better job of keeping liberals suffering from hoplophobia out of here.

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