"Horny" Florida Woman Called 911 Because Officer Wouldn't Sleep With Her

Categories: WTF Florida

hornywoman.jpg
If Maria Magdelina Montanez-Colon is guilty of anything, it's being a little too honest. Well, that and trying to use 911 as her personal gigolo service.

The 58-year-old Punta Gorda woman was arrested for repeatedly trying to get a police officer to have sex with her.

According to the Smoking Gun, Montanez-Colon said she called 911 for a family dispute over a Corvette that had belonged to her late husband (coincidentally, or actually maybe not, a cop).

But when a police officer arrived, Montanez-Colon, who seemed noticeably tipsy, was no longer interested in the hot-rod dispute but instead interested in the officer's hot rod. She called Officer Justin Davoult "sexy" and asked if he was single.

Montanez-Colon also announced she was "horny" and "hadn't been penetrated in years."

When the officer asked if there was anything he could help her with, Montanez-Colon answered, "You could fuck me."

Shit, girl! More direct than a gay man on Grindr at 3 a.m. More direct than a drunk bro at LIV who didn't buy a $1,500 bottle to go home alone without some tail.

That takes some ovaries.

The officer declined and informed her that her behavior was not appropriate.

Less than an hour later, Montanez-Colon called 911 again and informed the dispatcher that the officer had pissed her off and that she would like another one to come to her home.

Officer Davoult showed up again, this time with a lieutenant. Montanez-Colon explained the situation pretty bluntly.

She called Davoult "a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to fuck me, he turned me down, so that made me angry."

Asked by Davoult as to whether she knew this was a misuse of the 911 as per their previous conversation, she replied, "I do, but how else am I going to get you to fuck me?"

Damn.

Montanez-Colon was then arrested on misdemeanor charges of making false 911 calls.

Someone needs to get this woman a Rabbit vibrator and a porn site subscription. Maybe that way she'll learn that if she's going to call a service to have men come to her house and then try to sleep with them that she might have better luck with, say, a pizza parlor or a plumbing service.

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27 comments
Joshua Rashad Jones
Joshua Rashad Jones

Florida just needs to be cut off and adjoined with Mexico. SMH, full of idiots, druggies and getaway killers. No need for news around the world when you got a state full of clowns lol

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

......................to bad we couldn't get them to leave ELIAN and take HER !

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

.......................the video of that first CONJUGAL visit is a sure thing to go viral (any volunteers ? although maybe she would make a good cellmate for justin bieber)

DRAKEMALLARD.0
DRAKEMALLARD.0 topcommenter

"Chef's Pleasure Bag. Now, all you do is put this paper bag over your head, and it increases your sexual pleasure.

Guillermo Funes
Guillermo Funes

well.. wrong department! this a clear call for the fire department .

John Wilson
John Wilson

all she had to do was attack the officer. taze the nips and billy club in the ass and she's good to go

Jorge Mederos
Jorge Mederos

Some day, you all will be old and ugly, trying to get someone to lay yo ass down, too! Hahaha

Luis Lopez
Luis Lopez

she needs to look at her self or go to an adult shop to get something

George Hoover
George Hoover

I doubt she could get a dog to sleep with her!

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