Miami Beach Parking Authority Is an Evil, Unflinching Entity, and Here's Why

Categories: Flotsam

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flickr/ Mirandala
How it went down
Dear punk-ass Miami Beach Parking Authority:

Last week, you towed my 2013 Jetta sitting outside my house at 14th Street and Meridian Avenue and then scuttled into the night, leaving neither trace of my vehicle nor your chicanery. So when I set out on foot in search of my car the next morning, I naturally assumed some thief with a soft spot for reasonably priced German engineering and subtle off-white coloring was behind its disappearance.

No way had it been towed. It had a residential parking pass firmly affixed to its windshield, in plain sight. It wasn't possible that even you, the most despicable of all Miami Beach institutions, which orders the towing of any vehicle without hesitation, would stoop to this sordid low.

I was wrong. I got on the horn with Tremont Towing, which I was fully aware would stoop to this sordid low, to ask if they had my Jetta. They did. Then they informed me of the egregious nature of my wrongdoing. I had put my residential parking pass on the wrong side of the windshield.

Yep, that.

I'm taking this opportunity to say something that every South Florida resident who's dared to park his or her car in South Beach has likely thought:

Fuck you, Miami Beach Parking Authority.

Oh, but it gets worse.

When I arrived at Tremont and found my parking ticket (the one claiming I didn't have a residential pass) stuck to my windshield (the one with a residential pass), I called the Miami Beach Parking Authority. They made a mistake when they wrote my ticket -- I have a residential pass! -- and now it would cost me $300 to get my car out. Was there anything they could do? Would there be mercy?

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65 comments
Rok TheSpot
Rok TheSpot

Serious question,has anyone considered "Help Me Howard?" On his site he's taken less serious cases.

Asholemarquez
Asholemarquez

This is for the story about the tow in the city of Miami Beach. The city has a contract with the tow companies and every time that the parking department tries to be nice with the citizens and cite the vehicles and not tow the tow companies get there lawyer and go to city hall making a big deal about the tows going down. When manegement gets on the officers to tow more cars that is what you get. We all need to work and at the end of the day if you read were you have to place the residential permit or if you park legally there's no reason to cite or tow your vehicle. This is one unhappy person but there is plenty of other citizens calling for parking to go cite and tow cars that don't have permits so that they can park due to them having a permit, in that case parking is the good guy. There is always two sides to the story why not put them both on the article?

Carlos Herrera
Carlos Herrera

Jahzel Dotel deja la lloradera, vale hahaha but really, que pasados!!

David Pitch
David Pitch

Tour buses idle and block a lane of traffic on 5th street bet ocean drive and collins, not one ticket is issued. The buses sometimes idle for up to an hour, when you call parking, maybe they send someone but never a summons, I even had the city put up 2 signs stating no stopping or standing, still kaka

ajh.arawak
ajh.arawak

I no longer live in Miami Beach because of a similar experience. I also avoid visiting or spending money in Miami Beach and I enthusiastically encourage others to do same. As I am in the hospitality industry I get an opportunity on a daily basis to steer others away from the cesspool that is Miami Beach and the thugs and extorters that run the city

Jahzel Dotel
Jahzel Dotel

I have a story you probably wanna publish related to this! I live in Miami beach as well and park on the street. One night I parked where I usually park when I get home from work. The next day when I went to get my car it was gone and also there was fresh yellow paint on the side walk where I usually park, which was where my car was parked. You could see the city painted and left the spot where my tire was, blank. Also there was no TOWING AWAY sign or number to call. I called the only two towing places in the beach and one of them had my car. They said I parked in a non parking area. Please note that non parking area became non parking overnight when they painted over my tire. They towed my car and gave me a ticket. Here's the best part: a week later, the area they had painted yellow was painted back to normal. Therefore it became a space to park.

Rob Wagenseil
Rob Wagenseil

The last person who doubted Bernice's wisdom ended up in dumpster behind Mekka.

Lydia Carroll
Lydia Carroll

Im gonna move my sticker now to the other side never been cited.

Meesh Kachian
Meesh Kachian

miami beach government is extremely corrupt... most cops and officials are criminals and spend more energy on cover ups then making sure that the public is safe... all hypocrites and sell outs as well, because most are minorities... the worst part is that everyone knows about it but does nothing... be this in europe somewhere, there'll be riots by now...

Gabe Yunes
Gabe Yunes

South beach "authorities'' act as if the people who live there, are living for free as a favor. People who live there pay a shitload of money to do so. It's not a fucking favor and it's not a dictatorship. How can you do this to someone just cause the goddamn pass is in the wrong side of the windshield? Ridiculous and abusive!

Orlando Martinez Jr.
Orlando Martinez Jr.

Lol.. Heard worse.. Money hunger city.. That is y I drive to Hollywood beach

Tom Morris
Tom Morris

The comment where someone had a flyer placed over their residential permit and then were subsequently towed was just... creepy

Mario Diaz
Mario Diaz

Alex Fernandez don't do it man! It gets more overcrowded everyday and people are losing their humanity and decency down here all the time, oh wait, it's always been like that. SMH

Alex Fernandez
Alex Fernandez

Its shit like this that makes me worried about moving back to Miami

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

...............................THE KING OF ALL SCAMS was when on a BLACK FRIDAY at the sawgrass mills mall applebee's, a 200 car plus towing scam happened to the extent that corporate attorneys representing the retaurant and mall arranged to have everyone who got towed (and also incurred taxi cab fares) reimbursed

SUNRISE commissioners changed the city ordinances so it cannot happen again

(one very enterprising towing operator who wasn't satisfied with being just greedy slime also arranged to have TAXI CABs standing by to cash in on shuttling those unsuspectingly towed - BUT NO RIDE SHARING so each person individually had to hire and pay $95 each,  just to get the ride to the towing operators yard for their car)

the whole episode was premeditated as tow truck drivers were ALL warned NOT to call in sick or take a vacation day or else not come in to wrk that evening OR they would immediately be terminated

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

..............................the KING OF ALL VIOLATIONs ISSUED was when 200 plus vehicles were ticketed while the owners WERE ATTENDING EASTER SUNDAY MASS at 9am (the first ticket was timed at 9:03 and a since fleet of FT LAUDERDALE parking violation bureau vehicles were dispatched and ready prior in anticipation to strike multiple tickets were issued by multiple officers by 9:18)

mayor naugle wanting peace in rio vista had all of the UNpaid tickets VOIDed (apparently some people just went ahead and PAID their ticket)

INSTEAD of directing traffic and assisting with the religious services overflow the cha-ching of city hall was just too strong since a screw-the-tourists mentality has now extended to year-round residents as well

funny but someone gets a $25 ticket and goes wild ...............yet a $562,ooo,ooo baseball stadium and a $750,ooo,ooo runway boon-doggles exist and millions still owed on the OLDE MIAMI ARENA DEBT is yet unpaid NO MATTER SINCE another layer of taxpayer funds seem going into soccer and hockey and football facilities ....................AND NO ONE GIVE A DAMN that we have no second grade schoolteachers anymore

puh-leezze !

James Wallen
James Wallen

I'm 99% sure the decal says right on it or on the paper it was attached to that it must be placed in a particular location. You know the registration sticker on your license plate? TOP RIGHT CORNER ONLY. It's typed on your registration. Putting it anywhere else is illegal and gets you a ticket for an improper/unregistered vehicle and will cost upwards of $200 to fix...if you're not towed. I love how people rant and rave and threaten to sue...when they were wrong AND THEY KNEW IT.

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

.............................and the LATEST scam is the waiters in restaurants will CALL IN TO have their own patron(s) towed away for an additional source of INCOME over and above the TIP !

in at least three restaurants HERE IN FT LIQUORDALE the waiters will scope out and monitor the parking lot that is divided into sections with yellow and red and unpainted concrete curbing.............park in the wrong color coded spot and YOUR WAITER calls the towing company WHILE YOU ARE eating your car gets towed ! !

Michael Alva
Michael Alva

Questionably legal theft. Absurd at best.

jdomar
jdomar

Sue the city and you can recoup all costs and attorneys fees. Plenty of lawyers out there will take this case without it costing you.

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

.............................PREDATORY TOWING is a major source of revenues both for the municipality in licenses and fees and also the towing operators / owners and further down the food chain are the spotters and the tow truck drivers

one tow truck driver here in broward previously involved in ransacking a stretch limo after he hooked it up was subsequently killed, shot dead, in responding to what i say was a set up because the shooter apparently PAID CASH to the local condo spotter NOT to be towed and when he saw he was being ripped-off and hooked-up he fired into the head of the tow truck driver

same driver and others were also involved in a previous scam whereby unsuspecting drivers needing to park their vehicles were waved into a lot by a woman and told they could park by that woman,  who mosty likely worked for the PREDATORY towing operator,  and of course those unsuspecting dupes got screwed

another report was the tow truck drivers and or the spotters and or the towing operators and or their lot attendants SCRAPED OFF VALID PARKING PERMITS on vehicles that were towed from condo parking spaces of condo owners and their guests 

it's NOTHING PERSONAL, only business - and it was just YOUR TURN = period

EzƦă VɅǹ
EzƦă VɅǹ

I find it amusing when people who have never lived in another city think that the government is corrupt, traffic is bad, cops are dicks, violence is bad, or parking enforcement are dicks in Miami or the beach. Hate to break it to you but for everything you bitch about aside from Russian hookers ripping off tourists, its much worse in every major city in the US. You would have gotten that ticket ANYWHERE in the US. Many other cities probably would have towed you as well.

sgourous
sgourous

Compact and busy place,you have to pay attention to what you are suppose to do.

They drive up the street,and see if anyone does not have sticker,no sticker to bad.

They only look where it suppose to be 

Daniel Herrera
Daniel Herrera

This is new, and it's getting ridiculously worst by the day, SoBe wasn't like that a few years ago!!!

Trina Wade
Trina Wade

I never go to MB because of this, my $$ is better spent elsewhere.

Jackee Internationo
Jackee Internationo

So true. Nice article. I will help you campaign. I will call the city commissioner also. This just happen to me last week...Tremont, $217 and a residential parking permit in the right place. To fight the ticket, I requested a court date to explain my cause. I couldn't believe it, I thought my car was stolen also. After three years of parking in the same community and living in the same place I get towed as a resident? That's messed up.

Jesus Sanchez
Jesus Sanchez

WTF does not even begin to cover this. This is why I hate parking in the beach.

Anthonyvop1
Anthonyvop1 topcommenter

But isn't more regulation your mantra?

Don't you guys embrace the "Social Contract"?

Isn't it way for the wealthy to pay their "Fair Share"?

You hypocrites are all for big government until it hits you.  

Hazie Almendares
Hazie Almendares

It's an abuse of what they charge and do. Both one for city officials who mandates such laws for abusing humanity with outrageous tickets and secondly the towing companies who in the same corruption works with the baboons I'm sure there is a kick back to those who call in for a tow what other reason for their abusive fees.

Rob Weir
Rob Weir

You should of just got a ticket for placing sticker in wrong place.. Not towed!! Crooks!!

Asholemarquez
Asholemarquez

There has been citations issued dumbass and when parking shows up the busses move.

ob1sfla
ob1sfla

i left that horrible hell 1 1/2 years ago, as an american citizen (legal) bilingual, license with 30 years experience, try to work in every salon, most of them own by Foreigners, (Trini told me once not to speak English, because i know Spanish arrogant French) most salon were dirty, would pay only pay 10% under the average starting commission without experience or clientele, most jobs lasted three months, 50% of this places ended up closing. I had 8 bikes stolen in five years, took three landlords to court for violating my tenants rights under Chapter 83 of the Florida Status (i've own income property before and been RE licensee in Florida) I'm only 5.3 130 lbs in self defense, I hurt a 6 ft tall 200 lbs jerk, I got arrested, not him. Walking home on Michigan ave, where I lived, shown on my driver license, was stop and thrown on top the police car hood, search without my permission, because they assume, I would ended up in Flamingo park in the bushes with another guy for sex, total embarrassing harassment, , same time this occurred 5 am, in Washington ave and 11st, there is prostitution and drug selling right at front of the police department, that is where they should had been.

Towing trucks is mafia, they give police a kick back for every dollar they make, Miami beach is the worst place i ever seen in this country, the New times is the only media that tell it like it is, love them

ob1sfla
ob1sfla

@ajh.arawak  i left that horrible hell 1 1/2 years ago, as an american citizen (legal) bilingual, license with 30 years experience, try to work in every salon, most of them own by Foreigners, (Trini told me once not to speak English, because i know Spanish arrogant French) most salon were dirty, would pay only pay 10% under the average starting commission without experience or clientele, most jobs lasted three months, 50% of this places ended up closing. I had 8 bikes stolen in five years, took three landlords to court for violating my tenants rights under Chapter 83 of the Florida Status (i've own income property before and been RE licensee in Florida) I'm only 5.3 130 lbs in self defense, I hurt a 6 ft tall 200 lbs jerk, I got arrested, not him. Walking home on Michigan ave, where I lived, shown on my driver license, was stop and thrown on top the police car hood, search without my permission, because they assume, I would ended up in Flamingo park in the bushes with another guy for sex, total embarrassing harassment, , same time this occurred 5 am, in Washington ave and 11st, there is prostitution and drug selling right at front of the police department, that is where they should had been.

Towing trucks is mafia, they give police a kick back for every dollar they make, Miami beach is the worst place i ever seen in this country, the New times is the only media that tell it like it is, love them

Asholemarquez
Asholemarquez

Asshole maybe you were too tired and didn't notice the lines because lines don't get painted at night and I'm sure under your car it was painted so pay attention next time

ob1sfla
ob1sfla

criminals in  uniform paid with the residents taxes


Mikesway
Mikesway

It does state where to post it. And I am sure they were just telling you what they were suppose to tell you. Perhaps the whole story isn't being told here? Has the parking department commented?

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

....................the problem here is SOFLA verses most other places i am familiar with is THERE is NO alternative to needing transportation here being a CAR

in NYC area i didn't own a car for a dozen years and went everywhere i needed to go by bus, train, cab or rental

in BOSTON in college it was much the same thing

here there is NO public transportation system that isn't dysfunctional = period

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

.....................here in ft liquordale i think you would have to travel to TAMPA to administer a complaint BUT FIRST you have to pay the ticket anyway while awaiting your chance and IF YOU LOSE you have to pay double !

i once beat TWO parking violations in ft liquordale BUT it was really a FOOLs errand in the long run - very time consuming and risky and it prolongs the irritation eventhough i finally did get justice - it was worth it once but never again

MIAINDC
MIAINDC

@frankd4 When was the last time you actually got on a bus or the metro? It's been pretty on point for the last 5 years. At least in Downtown it is. And if you're car less- then naturally you would live near public transportation like Downtown. what you save on gas you spend on rent..so its a wash.

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

@MIAINDC @frankd4  


every workday commuting [BCT # 9 DAVIE - FTL] and on occasion with the seven day BCT pass on week-ends as well


the last time i used the metro it took me three hours from the steve clark MD govt center to ft liquordale - the tri-rail is neither downtown MIAMI or FTL so it can take an hour or more from either downtown area to the tri-rail


the bus for the same trip VIA aventura mall is somewhat better depending on the time of day

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