Mugshots Friday: Game Marriage
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
Charges: Driving with Suspended License
Excuse me sir? Does your tattoo say "married to da game?" I'll have you know that Florida has a constitutional amendment that clearly defines marriage as 1 man, 1 woman. NOT 1 man, 1 da game. So why don't you take your perfect ass and your pervert spouse to San Francisco instead of trying to rub your deviant lifestyle in my children's face. I mean, how am I even supposed to explain to them that a man is married to da game?
Charges: Petit Theft with Previous Convictions, Outstanding Out-of-State Warrant
Mugshots Friday helpful beauty tip: When getting your dye job touched up try to remember the exact shade of hair dye you originally used and try not to say "I don't know, some sort of orange I guess."
Charges: Domestic Violence, Carrying a Concealed Firearm
We love a good "305" tattoo. A tattoo that looks like it takes design cues from that tattoo of a fat white guy in a late '90s pop-punk band is not a good "305" tattoo.