Five Kinds of Heat Fans After a Big Playoff Loss

Categories: Sports

Basketball is the most frustrating sport to watch as a fan, because even when your team wins, the other team scores a good 30 to 50 times. And when your crew loses? It's the worst. Nobody likes to lose. Losing is for losers.

Heat fans know the drill all too well. After Sunday's shellacking by the hated Pacers in game one of the Eastern Conference semifinals, every member of LBJ nation had to find his or her own way to cope. Below are a few different forms of Heat fan you'll find after a loss. Which one are you?

1. The Earth Scorcher
This person takes a flame thrower to the team after a loss and more often than not is your dad. Reasoning with this Heat fan after a defeat is a lost cause, and your best course of action is to just allow him to get all the poison out. This Heat fan hates Mario Chalmers more than you should reasonably hate anyone you've never met, but tweets "RIO!!!!" after he drops a clutch three. The Earth Scorcher Heat fan can't figure out why Michael Beasley never plays, then remembers why Michael Beasley never plays every time he does, and mentally fires Coach Spoelstra for it.

2. The Jack Shephard
This person is out there throwing buckets of cold water on Earth Scorchers left and right, and is the likeliest of Heat fans to restore order after a plane crash on a deserted island. More often than not, this Heat fan has been through some adversity, not only as a Heat fan but also in life: for instance, marriage and children -- they are very seasoned. Deep down, this Heat fan is shitting his pants too but is just embarrassed that you don't know how to hide your fear as well as he hides it.

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6. The Cocky Deserter

A Heat fan, who is only a Heat fan when everyone around them is, and the small % of actual lifelong Heat fans say they should be. Otherwise, "Huh the Heat, Is that a Basketball team?" The only players they probably remember are the "Big Three". 94.7 percent of Heat fans are probably made up of Cocky Deserter fans, and will probably never admit that they even followed the Heat...when they lose LeBron.

James G. Camp
James G. Camp

LOL, I just don't want players like Joel Anthony & Greg Oxen to win championship rings. Sheesh, if these guys get a ring, so should every fan that ever bought a ticket ?

Steve Southernmost Netzel
Steve Southernmost Netzel

One game? Whatever. Last time I was upset about a Heat loss was when they lost to the Mavericks 3 years ago.


Get that shirt @


No metals will be allowed on court. Their Mettle may be tested though.

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