NBA Finals: 20 Reasons the Miami Heat Will Repeat as Champions

Categories: Sports

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via @AthleteTweetsO
Happy finals, Heat fans! It's June, so you know what that must mean -- your Miami Heat is just a handful of wins away from an NBA title. At this point, Heat fans should treat game one of the NBA Finals like a holiday and get one another presents, maybe put up a tree, light candles, or order Chinese food the night before. It's a 305 tradition now.

For the fourth straight season, the Heat guys find themselves still playing basketball games in June, and that's pretty damn amazing. The Knicks have backpacked all of Europe at this point, yet the Heat is still in season. All that stands between the Heat and its coveted three-peat is the Western Conference champion San Antonio Spurs. Almost everyone, it seems, is picking the Spurs to avenge last season's epic finals defeat to the Heat. Apparently, America didn't get the memo: The Miami Heat is the one that knocks; it is the danger.

Don't believe the hype. The Heat is the real favorite, and here are 20 superscientific, really-real reasons why.

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1. Because America still hasn't learned, the Miami Heat will turn your hate into tears and then use those tears as victory lubricant.

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2. Because in Miami we buy things, like fake breasts, for instance. If you're expecting an apology for this, you'll be waiting a long-ass time on that tractor, Kenneth.

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3. Because White Hot Miami Heat Chihuahua does not tolerate losing. Look at his face. LOOK AT IT. Is that a face that looks like it deals well with losing? You're damn right it's not.

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4. Because Shane Battier, indubitably.

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5. Because Pat Riley ordered the boats burned long ago, so the Heat has no choice but to win, because Michael Beasley used all of our travel money on scratch-off tickets and gas-station empanadas.


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13 comments
titanfanz7
titanfanz7

hahahah stupid fuckers, SPURS fucked the Heat up!

titanfanz7
titanfanz7

Hahahaha, dumb ass writer got a bit ahead of himself.  Serves you and all the other jock-riding heat fans right!  Karma biches, SPURS PWND THE HEAT, not only slightly, but ABSOLUTLEY CRUSHED, STEPPED ON AND STOMPED THE HEAT!! GO SPURS!! #5!!! IS SO SWEET!  now watch Miami blow fall apart for years to come.

Loretta Menth
Loretta Menth

SAN ANTONIO SPURS DONT THINK SO. GO SPURS GO! OUR HOUSE !

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