Sorry, Ann Coulter, Soccer Is the Most American Sport and a Shame We Don't Embrace It

Categories: Sports

Ann_Coulter_credit_Gage_Skidmore_wiki.jpg
Photo by Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons 3.0
I've held off writing about Ann Coulter for a decade -- or about the length of time her average fan takes to read one of her books -- so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any attacks on the sport of soccer are downright un-American and offensive to the sacred American ideals of unheralded capitalism, total oligarchy, and utter dominance by the privileged elite.

If you haven't read Ms. Coulter's latest column, declaring soccer un-American and chock full of so many worn-out soccer jokes that they could have been pulled from a 1996 Jay Leno monologue (so much for American ingenuity, huh, Ann?), don't be fooled. It's propaganda. It's cowardly and crooked apologetics for America's soft-bellied socialist sports culture that really call into question Coulter's so-called conservative ethics.

American sports leagues with their salary caps and revenue sharing are downright SOCIALIST compared to the free-market beauty of European soccer leagues.
The biggest sports story of the past four years, one that has gone down right here in Miami, has been the tale of three grown men deciding to accept less money and personal glory in favor of friendship and achieving their dreams together. Talk about bleeding hearts! This is the direct result of the NFL's and NBA's socialist policies that call for sissy ideals like "parity." Imagine! Big governing bodies that control how much a team can spend and then forcing the most commercially successful to pay taxes to prop up the rest of the league if they go overboard! Karl Marx might as well be the NFL's next commissioner! There's no such thing in most international soccer leagues. They believe in the free-market ideals that the richest should be able to buy whatever they want!

American sports leagues coddle their losers.
Over the past ten years, eight teams have won the Super Bowl. That's a full fourth of the NFL.

In the past decade, only three teams have won the championship in the Spanish soccer league (with two teams taking nine of those victories). England's Premier League has also seen its championship won by only three teams during the past decade. Italy has the same number. In Germany, it was just four. In France, one single team won every championship between 2002 and 2008.

So I have to ask, Ann, which leagues are really handing out participation ribbons and which teams are reserving the gold medals for the real champions?

In fact, you know what happens if you're playing in the major leagues in international soccer and your team sucks? You get kicked back down to the minor leagues. But not in America! We coddle even our worst professional sports teams. We say to them: "Oh, don't worry about it! You're still major league! Here's your revenue-sharing check and the top pick in the next draft! Don't lose your self-esteem! Maybe you'll do better next year. Hang in there, bud!"

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97 comments
Osso Ossito
Osso Ossito

what a BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rome Kells
Rome Kells

I in No way agree with ann Coulter , but lets not get it twisted Kyle youre Trolling as well by saying Soccer is the most AMERICAN sport- now if you mean central or south american sport then maybe but--- let be real-

Bas Wip
Bas Wip

Anytime I read or hear of her I'm reminded of the importance of Education.

Fernando Nascimento
Fernando Nascimento

In a recent interview, Ann's parents confirmed that when she was a baby she fall down from her crib and hit her head hard into the ceramic floor, obviously that hard trauma at such tender age damaged her underdeveloped brain for good.

Mercy Serrano
Mercy Serrano

She is a disgusting person. Jesus. She manages to to this to me every time! I try to ignore her. She's so good at making me hate her!!!

Anthonyvop1
Anthonyvop1 topcommenter

The rise in the popularity of soccer correlates directly with the increase in single mothers and the wussification of our children.


Women force their sons to play Euroweenie Kick-Ball because they don't want them to get hurt playing real Football and because their attention spans cannot handle baseball.


Funny how the rise of ADHD happens during the same time ain't it?



Olivia Ramirez Allende
Olivia Ramirez Allende

Karina Trovato this is a great article about US pro sports. I can't even bring myself to read The article that propelled this article. She infuriates me won't even say her name!

Sandi Coll
Sandi Coll

"AMERICA" does not mean the United States. America is North, Central and South America !!!!! Canada to Patagonia !!!!

Nick Lagattuta
Nick Lagattuta

When you argue with trolls you only legitimize them, Just ignore her. please

Luis Carrizo
Luis Carrizo

The US Soccer Federation was founded 1913. 7 years before the NFL was founded.

the_other_david
the_other_david

Simplistic? No strategy?

If you dont know about something, then dont say anything about it before educating yourself about that topic, otherwise you will be seen as an ignorant.

Anthonyvop1
Anthonyvop1 topcommenter

Soccer is for 3rd world types and the uneducated.

Simplistic, No real strategy.


Funny but in the UK Soccer is looked down upon by the educated class.

BTW The author has no grasp of how the free market works.

 

Tom Berry
Tom Berry

Soccer is the game of the future, and always will be.

Gia Failla
Gia Failla

How can someone be infinitely ignorant?

orleans
orleans topcommenter

an eye opener. too bad the MNT readers are missing the irony.

Faith Klele
Faith Klele

Shes an a hole. Who asked her ANYway

Angie Rees
Angie Rees

we are all waiting for our apology from this idiot. It seems today everyone has to apologize anything they make an asshat remark, and therefore, yes, she should apologize for her racial slurs.

NJ Joe
NJ Joe

She has her head up her ass!

David Sarnoff
David Sarnoff

The ONLY reason soccor has become popular in the US is b/c of the huge increase and fast growing hispanic segment of the American demographic. Without THAT professional soccor wud not catch on here even with all the soccor mommyness out there. Coulter happens to be right altho some of her reasons r wrong.

Chris Cvnt
Chris Cvnt

Who is this bitch again? Nvm, i dont give a shit. Cunt.

John Perez
John Perez

Who gives a damn what America's sport it's because last time I checked America was part of this world. This story, Ann's original story, as well as all this ruminating on Ann's comments are a giant waste of time.

John Perez
John Perez

"Sorry Ann Coulter but let's give you more power by paying attention to your BS comments"

Nidia Varela Davidson
Nidia Varela Davidson

Mrs. "HOOLIGAN", You are definitely “OFFSIDE” your mind. My brain “RED CARD” me by only reading a few lines of your “DIRTY WORK” that you sell as journalism. Your idea of conservative and liberal is “FIFTY-FIFTY” foolishness and senselessness. Wonder, what “TEAM” is you rooting for because your knowledge of sports is like a “FREE KICK” in everyone’s head. “FINAL”, you have been awarded the “HAT-TRICK” journalist, “OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE”, “FOULS AND MISCONDUCT”. Do us a big favor and jump off the highest cliff you could find. “LOSER”

Joe Geegan
Joe Geegan

Why do Americans have to pretend to be soccer fans during the World Cup? 99% of Americans could not explain the qualification process for the World Cup let alone the rules of soccer. The truth is that Americans fanaticism with sports is already over satiated with the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA, etc. We just don't need soccer. I want the USA to win (not tie or lose and still advance), in EXACTLY the same way we ALL want the US Women’s Field Hockey team to beat Australia in the second round at the Olympics. If they win, great. If they lose, who cares? #ItsZeroNotNil #ItsAFieldNotAPitch#ItsSoccerNotFutball #ItsAGameNotAMatch #GoUSA #FifaWorldCup

Derc Cifuentes
Derc Cifuentes

why is ladu gaga talking about Soccer? All sports are good and there is enough room in american's hearts for all kind of sports.

Nick Feliccia Sr.
Nick Feliccia Sr.

Soccer SUCKS..American Football is great. I'll even take Rugby a real mans sport.

Marco Foramiglio
Marco Foramiglio

It's sad . She thinks that playing with hands , taking steroids and hugging other big men make it a better sport ( playing football ). Stupid. Lol

David Lawrence
David Lawrence

Looks like Andrew Coulter to me...probably played soccer as a boy and really sucked at it.

Lisa Welsh-Aponte
Lisa Welsh-Aponte

Anyone surprised that she's never been married? I mean, who could pass THAT up? She's a catch ::cough::

Leon Harrison
Leon Harrison

It may make you cry, but most of us had rather watch pain dry.

the_other_david
the_other_david

You said soccer is a 3rd world type and uneducated..then you mention UK (as if it were a 3rd country) then you mention it is looked down by the educated class...

Then I wonder why there are players and coaches that are professionals in other areas (such as engineering among others). By reading your comment and noticing how ignorant you are regarding this matter, it looks like you have a very funny concept of "uneducated".

the_other_david
the_other_david

Simplistic? No strategy?

If you dont know about something, then dont say anything about it before educating yourself about that topic, otherwise you will be seen as an ignorant.

the_other_david
the_other_david

So...according to your theory, Seattle, the city with the biggest soccer fan base in USA, is an hispanic city....right?

ginger171
ginger171

I don't see it as pretending, Joe; just getting swept up in something full of excitement and fun. Don't think Ann Coulter or her ideas are worth a discussion on any subject.



Anthonyvop1
Anthonyvop1 topcommenter

@commonsense @Anthonyvop1 

AHHHHH!!!!! 

  Another blind liberal who cannot debate with facts and so they feel compelled to resort to the tried and true left wing, fascist tactic of spewing personal insults.

    The problem is you guys think we are wussies like you.  That words hurt. That we will feel "bullied"  Sorry!  My parents loved me and didn't raise me to be a girlie-man.

     You, on the other hand, are probably experience typical liberal outrage.  Political Correctness klaxons going off in your head.  The need to tell others how they must think and act is wafting over your body.  


Enjoy!!!


Oh and your failure to actually come up with anything even close to fact just means.....You know I am right!

Anthonyvop1
Anthonyvop1 topcommenter

@the_other_david 

The UK is a 3rd world country in everything but name/

Engineers are cranked out by the 1000's in the 3rd world.  No big woop!

Anthonyvop1
Anthonyvop1 topcommenter

@the_other_david Aside from kicking the ball into the net any strategy is just lip service.

Jeez even Basketball has more strategy and basketball is moronic in it's simplicity.

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