Five Ways LeBron Could Restage "the Decision" but Make It Work This Time
Heat fans are on pins and needles this week, hoping LeBron James ultimately decides once again his best choice is to take his talents to 601 Biscayne Blvd. Yesterday was the fourth anniversary of the first LeBron James "Decision," and unlike this year, the 2010 Decision came with a capital "D" for "Dumb." The ESPN special was an instant disaster, met with almost universal disgust from those who thought just about every aspect of it was uncalled for and/or unnecessary. Thankfully, two NBA championships and two MVP awards later, LeBron's choice of team itself seems to have proven to been a wise one.
The first Decision was an epic fail. If given a do-over, the best choice would be not to do it, but because it did happen, how could it have avoided being such a jump-off point for LeBron hate? I have some ideas in case LeBron goes insane and decides to stage a second round.
Replace the kids with puppies.
LeBron's camp obviously didn't think this thing through. The kids were a terrible idea because LeBron and company knew in advance they would be choosing the Miami Heat, meaning there was a terrific possibility the faces on these probably-Cavs-fans-kids would be similar to that of a kid who was just told their dad lost his job so they have to sell the house. Yup, that happened, and it was superawkward. Everyone loves kids, but what they hate just as much as they love kids is seeing kids sad. This is where the puppies come in. My wife could tell me she wanted a divorce, but if she unleased a litter of 6-week-old puppies afterward, it would totally emotionally confuse me. On one hand, you got divorce, but on the other hand, you got tiny puppy tongues licking your shins. That's some seriously conflicting shit, man.
LeBron says he's taking his talents to South Beach, puppies, Sports Center jingle, nobody would even realize what the hell just happened.