Five Ways LeBron Could Restage "the Decision" but Make It Work This Time

Categories: Sports

Out with the creepy Jim Gray, in with the Stuart Scott.
Jim Gray is the guy you don't want to see get on your elevator. Stuart Scott is the neighbor who knocks on your door to ask if your son wants to shoot some hoops with him and his kids. Jim Gray looked like Chris Hanson, and LeBron James looked like the guy not drinking the iced tea during the Decision. Stuart Scott would have joked around, kept things light, and probably worked in some 90's hip-hop lines like "Yo, LeBron, you've been doing it and doing it and doing it well! I like the way you work it, no diggity!" Jim Gray sat LeBron down like a dad asking what LeBron intended to do with his daughter on their first date. Stuart Scott would have been high-fiving him, asking what they did on the date.

Replace the picnic shirt with a suit.
You're about to sign a contract for $109 million -- probably wanna break out a suit for that one. Believe me, I get it, suits suck, but if you're going to do this all on television, wearing a suit seems like a given. LeBron's style has changed a lot in the past four years with Miami; it seems Dwyane Wade has rubbed off on him a little in that regard. Normally I would say Dwyane Wade's style rubbing off on you is a bad thing, but mannn, LeBron was wearing Cosby sweaters before he came to Miami.

Forget ESPN; cut out the middleman and put it online.
The Decision was watched by 10 million people, roughly 1 million fewer than the NFL Pro Bowl in 2010, so why not just post it on your own site and have your megabillion-dollar sponsors pay for ad time and clicks? The Decision made $3 million for the Boys and Girls Clubs, and I have to imagine posting the video this way and collecting all the profit would have made more. Also, if LeBron took my advice and wore a suit, he could cover the suit in sponsors like they do with the race cars in NASCAR. It would be for the kids -- and the puppies. Don't forget the puppies.

Get to it already; cut the BS.
The original Decision was so unbearable mainly because of the buildup. What should have taken five minutes took an hour. Jim Gray even stalled at the very end by asking LeBron if he still has a nail-biting habit. Get in and get out. If you want to talk about what the actual decision was afterward with touch-screens and cap specialists, cool, at least people can get on with their lives knowing the answer. Hell, after he picked Miami, LeBron could have had Pitbull perform -- it would have been better received than the constant commercials and verbal grab-ass the original special had.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

My Voice Nation Help
7 comments
Lourdes Donikian
Lourdes Donikian

Who cares?? If he does not want to be here let him go!!!!!

Miraida Cedeño
Miraida Cedeño

I agree with all of this! They should've hired you the first time around! I think it should have been kids carrying puppies though. Hilarious!

Ana Pareja
Ana Pareja

He can start by not saying he's staying in sobe since that's not where the arena is! #dumbass

Cary Gonzalez
Cary Gonzalez

A lot of folks are probably worried about the thousands of dollars they've spent on Lebron gear that might become obsolete....

Eddy Alexander M
Eddy Alexander M

All this talk about Lebron here and there. I'm just wondering when people will start caring about something that actually matters.

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...