Ready for U.S. vs. Belgium? Watch the World Cup Music Video Miami Never Knew It Needed

Categories: Sports

Berke's model buddies supporting USA soccer.
It's Tuesday. It's rainy. You've got a head cold. There's a three-day weekend coming and you're just coasting until it's time for roman candles and Coronas.

Well, snap out of it, dammit. The Fourth of July may be Friday, but America's fourth World Cup game is today. This afternoon, Team America (f--k yeah!) plays Belgium in a second-round elimination game. It's Clint Dempsey vs. Eden Hazard. Tim Howard vs. Romelu Lukaku. Budweiser vs. Stella Artois*. Jackson Pollock vs. René Magritte. Uncle Sam vs. Professor Edward J. de Smedt.

And just in case a visceral hatred of de Smedt isn't enough to get your juices flowing, former Miami Beach mayoral candidate Steve Berke has a music video he'd like to show you. It's full of techno, T&A, and American soccer fans hurling themselves from second-story windows out of passion for the game.

See also: Sorry, Ann Coulter, Soccer Is the Most American Sport and It's a Shame We Don't Embrace It

The stars (and stripes) seem to be aligned for United States soccer. A massive turnout of Americans in Brazil this summer. Record World Cup viewership here in the U.S. And a surprisingly manageable second-round matchup with an underperforming batch of Belgians.

But it hasn't been easy. The game versus Ghana was a nail-biter. The tie with Portugal was gut-wrenching. And the loss to Germany was just close enough to keep our hopes alive. All the while, soccer cynics such as Ann Coulter were attacking the sport like a starving Luis Suarez.

Things have been particularly tough for soccer fans in Miami. Even before the World Cup, politicians twice blocked David Beckham's shot at a downtown MLS stadium. Then USA star and Sunshine State native Jozy Altidore pulled up lame just 20 minutes into the tournament. Finally, when Portugal tied us in extra time, local superfan Eric Corey fell out of Fado's window.

See also: Miami's Biggest Soccer Fan Fell Through a Window After Portugal Goal

Berke, a tennis star turned stand-up comedian turned politician, happened to be at Fado Irish Pub to see Corey's collapse. He decided to splice footage of the fall -- and Corey's recovery -- with music by DJ Carlos Danger and video of models in skimpy patriotic outfits playing soccer.

Berke calls the result "a pretty epic Team USA support video, dedicated from the fans of Miami."

Miami is into the beautiful game
*OK. So, technically, Belgium has already won the beer battle.

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Coulter's intense hatred of immigration (both legal and illegal) is reflected in her bizarre polemic against soccer. Coulter’s inexplicable hatred of the Other is one reason why we should Never Trust Ann Coulter – at ANY Age, a new book available at


I make 5 million dollars a week posting a link on Google and I only had to get 21 free Google kits. I didn’t have to read or learn anything!  Go to

DRAKEMALLARD.0 topcommenter

Nothing can help me care about soccer. Oh, ‘it’s the most popular sport in the world.’ Probably because it’s cheap to play. It costs a ball. Once every four years, America pretends to care about it. And yes, I call it ‘soccer.’ Don’t correct me because I don’t care what they call it in other lands — I speak America.

It’s hard for me to get into a sport that I mastered at the age of seven. Excuse me for not being able to get revved up for this corner kick that never works. Hooray!

Vanessa Phelps
Vanessa Phelps

Pleaaassseee all ready with my stars and stripes. USA USA USA!


@DRAKEMALLARD.0 "mastered at the age of seven" that has to be one of the single most stupid things I have read this week - and that includes quotes by Sarah Palin.... The average soccer (who doesn't call it that?) player is the size of a linebacker, runs an average of seven miles per game, and is basically playing chess while moving at the speed of an Olympic sprinter. And, sorry to correct you sir, but soccer is fast becoming the most popular sport among young people in this country. So, give it one more generation and your opinion will be as worthless as those fighting against marijuana legalization and gay marriage.

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