The Ten Worst Things Tourists Do in Miami

Categories: Listicles

We love our tourists down here in Miami, if only because they keep a large chunk of our economy running. But like anything we love, they sometimes annoy us.

As the barrage of summer break tourists pours into South Florida this holiday weekend, let's review the things that bother us most about our money-spending visitors, in the hopes we can start getting along just a little better.

See also: The Ten Distinct States That Make Up Florida

Photo by Towpilot via Wikimedia Commons
Visiting Miami With No Basic Information About Miami
Tourists heading south on South Dixie Highway have asked us at stoplights how to get to South Beach. ("I know the name is kind of misleading, but you should start by actually heading north.") Tourists have also told us they're surprised Miami has such a "Latin influence." And tourists complain about the hot and rainy summer weather. You don't have to buy a guidebook, but at least read the Wikipedia page before you get on your flight.

Asking Everyone Where to Get Cocaine
Miami has a bit of reputation for that pure stuff, but that doesn't mean you should ask every local you meet where to get it within the first five minutes of knowing them. You should at least ask the people who actually seem like they're on cocaine first. Seriously, a lot of us don't know, and even those who do aren't going to jump through hoops to hook you up.

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111 comments
Danielle Noeller-Perales
Danielle Noeller-Perales

HA THIS IS A JOKE! I could write a list 3x as long of the annoying bullshit that Miami people do when they come down to the keys!!! I just wish they would stay in Miami!!!

Karen Jones
Karen Jones

Posted one day too late for the woman who took off her shorts and underwear and sat down on the curb in front if my building a couple nights ago. #sobe

Marcelle Suarez
Marcelle Suarez

New Times...you must be bored. SoBe thrives off tourists.... If locals don't like the tourists... Don't go there... There are a hundred places to hang out in Miami besides SoBe.

Fabian Antonio
Fabian Antonio

That last one is actually Miami's fault. See, every single souvenir store in South Florida sells the shirts that say im in miami bitch. Ban them from the stores and the problem is fixed, but they will never be banned cause the stores want to make money and unfortunately, people buy those awful tshirts.

Amanda Chin
Amanda Chin

Thinking everyone lives in south beach because you live in Miami. Lol

Sarah Jones Zellhoefer
Sarah Jones Zellhoefer

Also forgotten is that not all of Miami Beach is South Beach, we do actually work full time regular jobs and are not all filthy rich.

paul
paul

Just change the place names and 99% of this behavior would be exactly the same in any other city that gets a lot of tourists. Same complaints, too.


Miami really isn't all that 'amazingly' unique, folks. Some of you need to get out of the 305 a little more often.

Joveline Pettus
Joveline Pettus

"This isn't Key West"....lol...No kidding and thank God Key West ISN'T like Miami...lol.... Anyway....this was a spot on article :)

Richard A. Guerrero
Richard A. Guerrero

I use to work in restaurant , if you are a pain with the waiter expect a surprise in you plate!!!!!!

Richard A. Guerrero
Richard A. Guerrero

Please people , be honest with yourself Miami every day get worse , street are pack with cars, driving is a nightmare and expensive , to many aprendices getting experience. Going to the beach is another nightmare, fighting for parking , because there are not enough parking , etc...Negative for Miami and on top of that Miami heat sucks and Marlin sucks Dolphin sucks!!!!!!

Danielle Thornton
Danielle Thornton

I don't know about everyone else's experience, but when I went to the restaurants there, I got horrible service. One time our server sat in a booth with his buddies while I got up to get everything. I'm a great tipper bc I also work in the industry. Other than that I like Miami. Beautiful beach!

Vince Farfaglia
Vince Farfaglia

Tommy Montanarella The whole article is perfect for you Ben Dorman

Eliane Bernardes
Eliane Bernardes

Miami new times, I live in Singapore where the violence is " zero" so what's the common sense in a big city or tourist city for u?? I been São Paulo ( differences) n in Miami2 times n what I saw in Miami was a big finance crise n unemployeds. I don't think that expensive handbag and Jewellery is so common these days, only for those who can buy it. Or everyone has 5k, 10k, 20k .....over ...to buy?.Why they steal handbags on ocean drive? whats apple picking? U have to be neutral with ur followers

Eliane Bernardes
Eliane Bernardes

Miami new times, I live in Singapore where the violence is " zero" so what's the common sense in a big city or tourist city for u?? I been in São Paulo( see the differences ) n in Miami2 times n what I saw was a big finance crise n unemployeds. I don't think that expensive handbag and Jewellery is so common today, only for those who can buy it. Or everyone has 5k, 10k, 20k .....over ...to buy?.Why they steal handbags on ocean drive? whats apple picking? U have to be neutral with ur followers

hlain9152
hlain9152 topcommenter

OK, I get your point. Miami doesn't like tourists. No problem, I'll stay away. Actually I live in Florida anyway and I could not care less about the over-priced, over-rated, crowded shit hole full of arrogant pricks anyway.

Ryan Gargano
Ryan Gargano

Who needs to ask for coke when every 'gangsta' on the corner is already asking if "you party?". Granted, you'll be getting the hard, not the soft cocaine. Lol no worries, they sell glass stemmed "love roses" and Brillo Pads at every Kwik Stop and corner store... Kinda sad actually.

Miami New Times
Miami New Times

Fernanda, Miami Beach is like any other major American city: safe to walk and drive. Yes, there is some theft and crime -- like any touristy city -- but if you use common sense you won't encounter any of it. Like Victor said, there are high-end stores and hotels everywhere. Nobody will bat an eye at an expensive handbag or jewelry -- it's so common these days. However, if you leave that handbag or piece of jewelry unattended, it will go missing. (Again, common sense.)

Victor Olmedo
Victor Olmedo

Fernanda Lystedt there is no major violence in miami beach other than your typical violence in any other party city. We are on of the top cities in the country with luxury cars and when it comes to high fashion and jewelry we are right up there with the best of them.

Fernanda Lystedt
Fernanda Lystedt

Does anyone here can give me some informations about the violence in Miami beach? Can I drive a good car freely or walk with a fashion handbag? jewelry etc etc?

Andrés Aguirre
Andrés Aguirre

Milton J. Nanez Fredy Castaño Edgar A Guerrero S read and laugh

John Calabrese
John Calabrese

Title could also be "Reasons I live in Fort Lauderdale"

Louis Wing
Louis Wing

Who else are they going to ask? lol

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