Stop Erecting Giant Phallic-Shaped Structures in Miami and Calling Them "Legacies"

Categories: Unreal Estate

skyrisemiami.jpg
When developers Russell Galbut and Jorge Perez revealed their quickly nixed plans to build the largest condo tower on South Beach at 500 Alton earlier this year, they talked about it as their "legacy." That's nothing new. For years South Florida developers have been pretending their business deals are something greater than they are, and that glistening towers meant for the über-rich will leave some sort of hallowed legacy for all the citizens of Miami.

But this "legacy" business has gotten out of control. There's a strange new trend of rich Miamians trying to make giant additions of phallic-like structures to our skyline in any way possible and calling it a legacy.

See also: No, Miami Does Not Need a 400-Foot American Flag Downtown

"I view this as a legacy opportunity," said developer Jeff Berkowitz on his idea to erect his divisively designed R-shaped SkyRise observational tower. "It will forever cement Miami on the list of great world cities."

As if great world cities are measures by height.

Healthcare billionaire Mike Fernandez has recently unveiled plans to build the country's tallest flag poll on Parcel B in downtown Miami and has framed it as some sort of gift to the city. Another project supposedly meant to cement us as a world city.

It seems every dude (and it always seems to be dudes) with an extra $100 million in the bank or so wants there chance to erect something giant over Miami.

Which, fine, but let's not pretend this is the best use of your funds to leave some sort of positive legacy for Miami.

"Big and tall" does not necessarily equal meaningful anyway. Our sister blog Cultist recently ran a series on Miami's architectural landmarks. Skyrises are the exception on that list. Instead most of the buildings have history and meaning to their local communities.

The Freedom Tower is now dwarfed by the ritzy luxury condos around it, but it has more of a history and legacy than any of its downtown neighbors. It has actual history, and a shared history that will always mean more than any thing a billionaire with a whim wants to fabricate.

Let's also not forget the legacy of global warming may one day topple any sort of concrete legacies on Miami's shores.

In fact there's an idea for an actual legacy: be the first leading city to convince local and state leaders to take the threat of rising sea levels seriously.

Not your cup of tea? Well, there are also the issues of underfunded libraries, mass income inequality, and terrible public transport.

Want to leave a real legacy in Miami? Use your money and efforts to do something good on any of those real problems instead of spending millions just so people can stare at the giant phallus you erected decades after you're gone.

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82 comments
voxveritas
voxveritas

He does make a good point, don't put millions of dollars into housing for the ultra rich, and then pretend it somehow benefits the people of Miami. Your only legacy is that of a rich, small penised asshole. If you really want to be loved, respected, remembered, do something that actually improves the lives of your fellow human beings. 

Tom Koyzis
Tom Koyzis

Geez people aren't happy here unless they're bitching about something....

Tom Koyzis
Tom Koyzis

God forbid we build something that tourists will love....reminder that everyone hated the Eiffel Tower when it was built as well....

Adeline Bourdin
Adeline Bourdin

Martine Gemonet Bourdin like the penis in the sky part 2!

Liz Trotter
Liz Trotter

I didn't even have to see who wrote this. Kyle you are my spirit animal.

Antonio Domenikos Divine
Antonio Domenikos Divine

Every building is considered a phallic symbol, the obelisk in Washington in a phallic symbol. So stop with the nonsense and talk about real issues like we don't have enough space in downtown Miami to hold that monstrosity and it's occupants. We don't have schools, proper roadways, handicap friendly sidewalks. Who cares if the building looks like a penis or a vagina!

Charles Bryan
Charles Bryan

How is Miami getting Boned? It's all private money - the public isn't paying a dime for it.

Mike Amici
Mike Amici

This is a symbolic of Miami getting the shaft and or boned by the real estate industry.

John Howe
John Howe

Maybe the Air Force can organize a giant air strike on Miami,..and the survivors can all go back 80 years ago!

orleans
orleans topcommenter

well said!

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gallopo
gallopo

Oh, please, I'm so tired of people that are paralyzed in a particular time.    The real cities of the world have allowed progress, innovation, creativity and change to their portfolio.    Point in case, London, Paris, Vienna, Barcelona, Moscow, and on and on and on.    This is how new styles are born, new ideas, diversity and excitement are created.   I applaud the movement to create urban style cities that are devoid of the necessity of a car.    The Freedom Tower is beautiful and should be preserved but most people don't see it because they don't come downtown.    With the creation of the museums, Bayside expansion, 1000 foot tower and high rises, people will be naturally lured to enjoy our water front, museums and then effortlessly, they will enjoy the Freedom Tower.    If Barcelona would have been stuck in the realm of the medieval quarter, La Sagrada Familia would have never been conceived and Gaudi would have been stopped from creating all the marvel around Barcelona.     I guess those opposed have a very short sighted view of the world and what brings people together.

J Panzer Rivero
J Panzer Rivero

In paris people had the same comments and reactions over the eiffel tower... and look now..

Jennifer Alvarez
Jennifer Alvarez

Miami had no room to spread we Should build upward, regardless the shape of the building! This approach keeps our wetlands a legacy....

Erik KewL-Aide Otero
Erik KewL-Aide Otero

How bout investing that in local Brick and Mortar business that truly change the landscape of Miami culture. Something that invites job growth and financial stability to the community as a whole.

pod_nt
pod_nt

Condo towers and glorified observation decks aren't legacies. Just more generic crap built by reprehensible people who don't care about Miami and just want their names on some hastily-built piece of crap that'll collapse the next time a Cat 5 storm barrels through Dade County. 

Greg Phoenixx
Greg Phoenixx

Shut up... This is dum. So I guess the Frontenac's did not try to create their own legacy.. Or any other old school miami families

Stefano Alessio
Stefano Alessio

This hideous monstrosity a "Much needed face-lift"? Of course, a "yes" from a Miami "construction" (DESTRUCTION) industry lackey. What a surprise. Dio, truly detest so-called developers.

David Wessin
David Wessin

Amazing structure that will forever change the skyline of Miami once again and bring a much needed face lift to Bayside while creating 1000's of jobs. VOTE YES!

Derrick Lang
Derrick Lang

I am all for more vagina shaped structures - only if I get the clitoris office.

Rod Alonso
Rod Alonso

I agree about what would, in my opinion, be better "legacies"-- schools, libraries, etc. But there is nothing new about people wanting to build tall skyscrapers. Is there any doubt about the motivation behind building the Empire State Building or the Sears Tower?

Ray Grandon
Ray Grandon

The world's end is just around corner and who wants to waste air and resources on that stupid looking junk???

Samson
Samson

Bravo, Kyle.  AMEN!

voxveritas
voxveritas

Do I detect small penis? Yeah, tourists love giant private high rise condos for the uber-rich that their not allow to go near. 

voxveritas
voxveritas

Mwahaha, I blame Donald Trump, for starting the trend of filthy rich, tiny penised developers, over compensating all over their city's skyline. 


Marc305
Marc305

@gallopo  I could not have said it better Gallopo. It seems that most people in this New Times page want Downtown and Brickell to remain the way it was back in the 90's when you could go to the Brickell Emporium and order a tongue omelet any morning without fighting traffic! Back then there was plenty of parking because there were parking lots everywhere! Those days are gone. Downtown and Brickell are the Manhattan of the South. No one is forcing anyone to live in the middle of all this. Move to Hollywood, there are still plenty of parking lots there with buildings that have not changed since the 50's!

demoroman88
demoroman88 topcommenter

Is the eiffel tower a condo?

voxveritas
voxveritas

go for some titties, a giant pair of titties that you can see from space.

orleans
orleans topcommenter

buy the land for it then, but not on mine (our) land!!

orleans
orleans topcommenter

Those towers were built on private land, not on the public waterfront.

orleans
orleans topcommenter

you bring up a good issue. These tall structures only attract terrorists.

Marc305
Marc305

@demoroman88  What are you talking about? Of course the Eiffel Tower is not a condo and neither is Skyrise. Have you even looked at their website? If built it will have an observation deck, a club, and a restaurant, not condos. 

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