Mondrian's Luxe Vending Machine Getting Restocked In Time for Art Basel
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| KAWS, The End |
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| Logan Fazio |
| You never knew what would pop out of those containers. |
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| F**k yeah! |
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Riptide continues to find out about exciting events during Art Basel that no one bothered to invite him to. So we are just completely and totally devastated that we weren't at the unveiling of the world's self-proclaimed number one transsexual Amanda Lepore's new signature fragrance.Â
1. Chinese Artists: Seriously, China, you had to showboat at the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics with your illuminated drums, calligraphy scroll, and lip-synching child singer, and just when we thought it was over, you invade basically every fair during Basel. We couldn't turn a corner without seeing Zhang Peng's doe-eyed kinderwhore Lolitas staring at us so innocently that we expected Chris Hansen to pop out of nowhere and ask us what we were doing there.

4. Tabloid Magazines: Naomi Campbell reportedly canoodling with P. Diddy at LIV, Kirsten Dunst and Mary-Kate Olsen feuding at Florida Room, Marilyn Manson and his new goth Lolita, and Pamela Anderson and her hot-pant fiasco. A-list celebrities turned out in full force for the Basel festivities, giving the tabloids plenty of Miami fodder for the week.
So Basel, Pulse, Design Miami/ and Scope all had duck inspired pieces, which sort of bewildered us, but that was hardly the biggest ducky art news of the week. Franca Sozzani, the editor of Vogue Italia, was in town to unveil, hey, guess what, a giant resin duck by British artist Stuart Semple at The Raleigh. The piece was an ode to luxury sportswear lable Moncler, and will be auctioned of in February for the kids. Fashionites including Bruce Weber, Roxanne Lowit, Bob Colacello, Thom Browne, and Stefano Tonchi were all on hand to get ducked. Maybe this is why we saw so much water fowl inspired art.
Riptide cares about celebrities in the same way most celebrities care about Art Fairs: We will use them for shallow reasons. Celebrities need publicity and free drinks and, most of all, attention. Riptide needs things of local relevance to blog about. So with out further ado, here is your Art Basel 2008 celebrity gossip round up. 
NYC artist Gregory de la Haba, who has two young sons, spent five years creating a life-size sculpture of a horse with a two-foot-long schlong, about to mount a mare with a motherin' vagina. When he chartered a truck that carried a picture of the sculpture to drive around Wynwood last Tuesday, Miami police threatened him with arrest -- due to pornographic concerns.
"They wanted us to cover it with red tape," de la Haba said.
The sculpture was one of the most striking works at the Bridge Art Fair on Saturday when Riptide attended. What struck us, though, was not the city's horrendous censorship, but de la Haba's ease at working with the literal sculpture in front of his two kids, ages 6 and 3. "They come inito the gallery, look at the sculpture, ask what those [sex organs] are, and then just start painting on the flloor of the studio," he said.
Kids comfortable with horse porn, Is that a good thing?

Riptide has been noticing lots of weird little trends during Basel week. Which is quite easy considering the sheer amount of art gracing the city right now. The real feat would be finding a piece so unique it is essentially peerless. But the artists responsible for the latest trend we've noticed clearly have no problem with making connections to other artwork, or more specifically artists. 

Riptide kind of has a love/hate thing with the idea of blog based point and click photographers achieving notoriety. On one hand the whole phenomenon is just kind of shallow and vein, on the other, well, we love to look at oddly dressed people doing oddly drunk thing. Plus the psuedo-industry they've carved out, day after online party pix and street style shots, is undoubtedly here to stay. 

Riptide has already wondered about the symbolism of an Obama portrait being the most noticeable piece one see's when entering Art Basel. Perhaps an Obama portrait should say "Welcome to Art Basel. We know, we know. The economy is in the tank, but look at this President. Don't worry, change is on the way! So please send cash our way!"Well, this was before we hit up Scope, which proves our Obama entrance theory quite literally. This huge Mr. Brainwash piece sits right outside the entrance, and yesterday they were offering free posters of it. Hope and change indeed.

The word for last night's opening of Art Positons was "tight." Tight in the way Frat boys mean "somewhat awesome." Tight in that it was crowded, and getting in and out of the mini galleries housed in storage containers wasn't an acitivity for claustophobes. Tight in the way that everything went off with out a hitch. Tight in the way that tights seemed to be the fashion statement of the night.Â

Goelz's spokesperson,Lee Doran, explained that "people don't quite know how to take" the waddling creatures, but that kids always try to ride them in
Then there was Virginia-based artist Derick Melander, who used clothing as his figurative paintbrush. He erected a ten-foot statue made of layered garments, gathered mostly from church drives. Melander connects with people through inanimate objects, which could be a weird thing but is pretty cool coming from him. "I get a sense of who wore them," he says. "Sometimes the clothes still smell like cologne -- or have names on the tags."
It reminded Riptide of this one time we checked out a library book and someone had written exactly what we were thinking in the margins. If that makes any sense. At all.
Whatever, the art world isn't logical. Exhibit A: Beer and doughnuts for breakfast.
--Natalie O'Neill
The vacuums roared cleaning up leftover debris as the press was allowed a preview of what's in store for the crowds visiting the tent at photo MIAMI. Lights flickers on and off, while the A/C hummed loudly making it uncomfortably cold inside on an usually frigid Tuesday afternoon.