President Bush is frequently criticized for not doing more to advance the cause for Cuban freedom. I tend to feel the same way because nothing has changed in regard to Cuban policy and the "Wet Foot/Dry Foot" policy still allows Cubans to perish at sea in order to get to US land. However, he has also kept the castro regime in the forefront by making frequent speeches, awarding Dr. Biscet the Presidental Medal of Freedom, and today, holding a teleconference with dissidents in Cuba (see Gusano's earlier post. ) So, when you look at it in terms of what past presidents have done, it certainly is more significant, although obviously "significant" is relative in this case. I suppose a gesture is better than nothing, and it cannot be denied that President Bush is making an effort to make sure the regime is recognized for what it is.

Needless to say, Bush and the GOP have been experts on keeping Cuban-American voters happy without completely alienating those who are strongly anti-immigration and xenophobic.

- Jose D. Duran

Suit against new Florida Marlins ballpark to proceed - A Miami-Dade circuit judge will allow the suit brought by auto dealer Norman Braman against Miami-Dade County for the financing of the new Florida Marlins stadium to go forward. Braman claims the financing of the stadium violates the Florida constitution because it relies on public funding to help out a private business.

Miami Art Machine - Local developer and art collector Craig Robbins and the University of Miami are pioneering a new graduate program called Art + Research that would give artists the opportunity to live and work in Miami on a full scholarship. While some applaud Robbins efforts to expand the arts in the city, others see it as nothing more than an unrealistic fantasy.

- Jose D. Duran

What’s two times smaller than your first apartment and shorter than Shaq?

Stumped? It’s a prison cell at Guantánamo Bay. A true-to-life replica of the roughly 6.5-by-8-foot space arrived in Bayfront Park in downtown Miami Thursday. Amnesty International kicked off its national tour of the cell to bring attention to the injustices just across the water in the U.S.-controlled slice of Cuba. The goal: close Gitmo.

More than a dozen activists – old, young, bald, brown, blonde and bearded - dressed in orange jumpsuits and linked by silver chains, gathered near the replica Thursday at Tina Hills Pavilion (behind the balloon). Leaders from Amnesty International, the ACLU and the American Bar Association presented a bleak reality. One even noted that a detainee was imprisoned for having a Timex watch. Apparently, that's a preferred brand for terrorists.

“This is an ugly blot in the America we were taught to believe in,” said Larry Cox, executive director of Amnesty International USA. “The people who live in boxes like this are still there … What’s important is that we are still here. And we can stop this nightmare once and for all.”

Here are some Amnesty statistics:
-Only eight percent of detainees have been tagged as Al Qaeda fighters.
-Forty percent of detainees have no real connection to Al Qaeda.
-While there’s approximately 280 people in custody, there’s only been one prisoner conviction by a guilty plea.

The replica will be open until Sunday, and a concert is planned for Saturday. Visitors can also request to be locked in the cell with a toilet, a skinny bed and a sliver of a window. There, they can record their own 30-second video reaction to the U.S. detention disaster. It’ll be posted on YouTube.com or tearitdown.org. A 36-year-old German tourist was the first member of the public who peeked inside the cell at the mostly press event. “To be honest, it’s not a very good topic for your country,” said Ixel apologetically, who feared giving his last name. “These people are giving me hope.”

- Janine Zeitlin

Even the act of taking the stage was funny. “Where am I, in Macbeth?” he said, bewildered at the faux Roman columns. Approaching an equally faux gas lamp pole on stage left, he said, “Is Judy Garland going to come out and sing a song?”

I can’t begin to recount a single joke, not with that manic onslaught, but this much I can recall: As his set progressed I laughed harder and harder. Early on he introduced the subject of his possibly being molested by his internist, and how he fired his therapist when she was disinterested in discussing it.

Religion, politics, sex, psychotherapy, aging, airlines, hotel “suites,” the dangers of women like his wife having children in their 40s (and something about not wanting to be on a Larry King panel with his “rooster boy”) … nothing unusual, but in Lewis’s neurotic, apoplectic delivery it was all hilarious.

With a precision that belied his fury, Lewis came back around to everything. Well, everything except one topic: I never did find out what happened with that internist. Let me know if you do: Lewis continues his run at the Improv through Sunday. --Frank Houston

Every once in a while, someone sends me a question that doesn’t require miles and miles of discussion. The issues are pretty simple, and they usually roll in between the hours of 10 p.m. and 2 a.m., so at first I assumed that they it was nothing more than drunken correspondence from people who had taken my advice. But one night I myself was sauced and needed counsel, so I went to my mentor, screamed my question into the air, shook him, and….”Reply hazy, try again.” Damn you, Magic 8 Ball. Dejected and answerless, I cried. Okay, so maybe copious amounts of tequila had something to do with those tears, but I was equally distressed about my inability to get a dose of valid advice when I needed it. I could practically hear the similarly desperate wails of the lovelorn rising up from the city, and I vowed to never allow anyone else to feel the way I did. So, M.C. Quickie was born; and I’m open like Club Space – allll niight looong.

12:46 A.M.
My supposedly-platonic guy friend just popped up at my house with a bottle of wine and some weed. I don’t like him like that, but I’m not exactly doing anything right now. What should I do?

♥ ♥ ♥ Smoke and drink, bitch. Just don’t let your guard down – or else, you might wake up with a friendly dick in your mouth.

Got a question? Email the Magic City Kitty.

As reported in the Herald, the audit reveals, to no one’s surprise, that Wackenhut over-billed the county for millions of dollars worth of work that was never performed, including “ghost posts,” which went unfilled but were billed anyway to create the appearance of a fully-staffed Metrorail when, in fact, Wackenhut suffered a personnel shortage.

This much has been known – or strongly suspected, anyway – for some time. Besides the Herald, local blog Eye on Miami has featured particularly good coverage of the ongoing Wackenhut fiasco, and New Times has written several stories about the company as well.

But the real story lies in questions as yet unanswered:

- How long have county officials known about the over-billing, and why did it take so long to produce the audit?

- Why did Cathy Jackson, County Manager George Burgess, and Mayor Alvarez refuse to be deposed in a parallel investigation of Wackenhut being conducted by a private attorney representing a group of whistle-blowers – especially when the county itself will receive the bulk of monies won in that suit?

- What will become of the Metrorail contract if Wackenhut is unable to pay back its debt to the county?

- What will become of Alanis Security, a company which subcontracts under Wackenhut on Metrorail and which has repeatedly failed to pay its employees (New Times wrote about this in February; recent conversations with Alanis employees indicate that paychecks are still bouncing regularly).

Stay tuned,

-- Isaiah Thompson

The area on Washington Avenue, between 8th and 5th Streets, is finally catching up to the rest of the strip. Gorgeous lounges and clubs have replaced the area’s notorious seedy (and not in a good way) clubs, and we have Dek23 (655 Washington Ave., Miami Beach) to thank for that. Check out the space tonight for Basic Thursdays when perhaps one of Miami’s best DJs, Ross One, stops by to do a special guest set.

While I love clubland immensely, but when the second Saturday of every month comes around the party is officially at Wynwood. Two huge art openings are going down, one at the Miami Art Space (244 NW 35th St., Miami) and the other at Bas Fisher Invitational (180 NE 39th St. Suite 210, Miami). MAS will be hosting Hexagon (a hex is gone) featuring the works of Friends With You, Bhakti Baxter, Jose Mertz, Kiki Valdes, Purvis Young, Phillip Toledano and 1st Ave Machine. The will be plenty of free cocktails to enjoy and an interactive playground courtesy of Friends With You and Baxter. Bas Fisher on the other hand is showcasing Museum Quality, an exhibition by Alvaro Ilizarbe. Chicago DJ and Ghettotech superstar DJ Funk will provide sounds with photos by Bronques of LastNightsParty.com (good to see him out of the Opium Group’s grasp and back in his own environment). This is turning out to be a good ol’ fashion art dance party, no?

Sunday nights have always belonged to Purdy Lounge (1811 Sunset Harbor Drive, Miami Beach). Their night Chocolate Sunday has always attracted the South Beach outcasts, fashionistas, hipsters, thugs and even a celebrity or two. It’s beloved by many because of the casual atmosphere and cheap drinks, which is hard to find in South Beach these days. And with DJs like Ray Milian, Matt Cash, Induce, Doormouse and Jessica Who? stopping by every Sunday, you know you are going to dance your pants off.

And just a little bit of advance warning, get ready next Saturday when Toronto DJ Deadmau5 stops by Mansion (1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach) to bring in his new brand of house music. If you didn’t catch him during Winter Music Conference, don’t miss your chance to catch him then.

Last week, when I stumbled upon all the quirky art on the utility poles, I also came across a mural done by artist Mariano Molina back in November. Actually, I was told that right before Art Basel comes into town, artists go around the area asking tenants if they can paint the exterior of their buildings, sort of like a guerrilla art show. So I wouldn't be surprised if this is actually one of those cases.

The odd thing about the mural is the juxtaposition of everyday characters that look like they are going to work or school with characters that seem more threatening.

Jose D. Duran

And while most graffiti murals tend to explode with color, you've got to appreciate Molina's restraint in only using one color: gray.

Jose D. Duran

However, the figures are hardly life-size. Most go as high as 10 to 15 feet even as they spill onto the concrete sidewalk below.

Jose D. Duran

Some additional background info on Molina: he is an Argentinian artist hailing from Buenos Aires. His work is often displayed at Praxis International, which coincidentally (or maybe not) is located right next door to this building. You can check out some of his work previous displayed at the gallery here.

- Jose D. Duran

If you read the New York Times yesterday, you might have seen this rather alarming headline from Reuters: “Haiti riot instigators set deadline to install [Prime Minister].”

The article began with this cheerful sentence:

“Slum leaders in the southern town of Les Cayes who started Haiti's recent food riots handed lawmakers an ultimatum on Monday to install a new government within a week or face more protests.”

Alarming stuff -- but maybe you didn’t read the Times yesterday; maybe you turned to the Herald, which seems to have brushed aside news of the possible collapse of Haiti’s government for something a little . . . well, not so serious, for God’s sake.

Yesterday’s Herald headline: “Young Haitian soccer players get lesson in shopping”

You can almost hear the exclamation marks dotting themselves.

But hey, who wants to read that depressing stuff anyway? The important thing is that these kids got to buy a hundred bucks worth of whatever crap they wanted, and the Herald was there to chronicle it.

Indeed, the daily devoted itself to plugging every business and brand name the young Haitians came across during their tryst with good old fashioned American consumerism. And nothing wrong with that – it’s not like these kids were being used for shameless corporate self-promotion or something!

Just one bit of advice for the Herald, paper to paper: when someone wants to advertise in New Times, what we do, see, is we charge them for it.

Pretty smart, huh?

Below, we've bolded some of the article's more blatant ass-kissings (we included 'the United States,' as there's plenty of marketing for that brand, too).

When he got to Target, Andy Premier knew exactly what he wanted: an iPod.
The 15-year-old had seen a few kids with music players in Haiti. He would have one now.
Andy was among a group of 18 Haitian teenagers who flew to Miami over the weekend to play in a friendly exhibition soccer match organized by the city of Miami. A Haitian cellphone company, Voilà, paid for most of the airfare.
The teens hail from some rough-and-tumble quarters in the Port-au-Prince metropolitan area -- like the seaside slum Cité Soleil. A social program that aims to develop the kids through the use of sports helped give them the brief reprieve.
''It's a life-changing experience,'' Robert Duval, founder of Athletique d'Haiti, said about the weekend trip in Target's furniture aisle. ``It's like I'm opening up the world for these kids. They get perspective. . . Most of the kids haven't been out of Cité Soleil, much less the country.''
As soon as they stepped into the lobby of this Target in midtown Miami, the teenagers stood wide-eyed. Each had a gift card valued at $100, plus some extra cash jubilant spectators tossed on the field at their triumphant Saturday game. They beat a team of local high school kids 4-1. Some of the money spectators threw on the field will go to the Haitian kids' families.
So Andy moved ahead, snaking through the colorful ailes in search of technology.
''It's beautiful here,'' Andy said about the United States.
When he reached the electronics department, he passed on the iPod, opting instead on a Creative Zen MP3 player. He tugged at the packaged item, dangling from a hook. It had a lock on it.

. . . You get the idea.

- Isaiah Thompson

Hello, Kitty

Reddy Taseddle

Hi Reddy,

Pressure cooker. Pressure cooker. Pressure cooker, that’s what you’re being to this girl right now. You’re just getting out of a super-serious relationship and already you’re trying to get Miss Sex in the City to trade in her fuck-me pumps for a pair of your wife’s run-down house shoes? I think it’s really funny that you think she needs to “lose some of the baggage,” but with your pending divorce and two rugrats you’re coming at her with more luggage than Louis Vuitton. Sweet. I’m sure she is reeeally excited about all you’re bringing to the table. You say that it seems like every breath you take annoys or disgusts her, and you’re probably right - your commitment-happy ass probably represents everything that this chick is running from as she bounces from man to man. Reddy, the past “domestic issues” you mentioned make me think that this girl either looves the drama or that she’s a little clumsy in the relationship department. Either way, I think a little backing off (by you) would be an amazing idea.

Got a question? Email the Magic City Kitty.

As reported in the Herald (which is so stingy with its online news that the link will be dead by tomorrow - what's up with that?), a majority of Miami Beach City Commissioners voted in the city's neighborhoods committee not to recommend a plan that would put bike lanes on Alton Road and instead endorse one that would feature super-wide sidewalks.

(If this were Canada, we might see bands of renegade bikers painting their own lane.)

The recommendation will be taken into consideration at the next City Commission meeting on May 14.

Of course, the ultimate decision isn't the city's to make -- it's the Florida Department of Transportation's, and that makes things more interesting.

But right now, the immediate culprit is the city. Miami Beach commissioners have argued the usual litany of nonsense - Alton Road is too busy, there's not enough room on the street, they'd have to remove parking, etc.

The problem is that the city is missing the forest for the trees - or, if you will, the wheel for the spokes. The Beach is packed to capacity with cars, plagued by traffic, and - in case city commissioners haven't noticed - the days of cheap gas are over.

Bicycling, meanwhile, is on the rise: it's on the rise in cities across the country, and it's on the rise here. Whether the city likes it or not, people will use bicycles to get around the beach, and they will (and should) ride in whatever streets they damn well please.

The question is how safe those streets are going to be -- the committee's opinion that bicycles should share the sidewalk, however wide it winds up, is absurd. On a bike, every alley, storefront, driveway, and door is a blind corner; and every pedestrian is an accident waiting to happen.

The Beach can give bikes a lane and ask them to stick to it, or they can sit back and let bikes and cars duke it out for space.

But look out -- one of these days, the bikes might win.

-- Isaiah Thompson