Miami Blog

The Florida Primary has finally arrived, and so has Jesus' endorsement for president. Jesus vetted the candidates for you all last week, and while Rudolph Giuliani and Hillary Clinton got high scores, 4 Crosses and 4 1/2 Crosses respectively, they just couldn't summit the mountain that is Jesus' all important vote. Click here to read the whole Who Would Jesus Vote For? series. Now, without further ado, we present you Jesus' pick for the 44th President of the United States.

Remember in the patented Crucifix Rating System (CRS)®, a maximum five crosses equals a strenuous holy endorsement.

We are now just one day away from the Florida Primary, and thusly only 24 hours away from revealing Jesus' endorsement for the next president of the United States. All last week, Jesus picked apart the candidates and dismissed them like Judas at the Last Supper, from John Edwards to Mitt Romney. Today, Jesus shares his thoughts on Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton. Click here to read the whole Who Would Jesus Vote For? series to date.

Remember in the patented Crucifix Rating System (CRS)®, a maximum five crosses equals a strenuous holy endorsement.

So far this week Jesus has given his thoughts on some of the weaker candidates in this year's presidential race. First he dismissed John McCain and John Edwards, then turned his sights on Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul, and on Thursday, the Carpenter took apart Mitt Romney. Today Jesus has kept it short and sweet in evaluating two of the more prominent candidates, Barack Obama and Rudy Giuliani. Click here to read the whole Who Would Jesus Vote For? series to date.

Remember in the patented Crucifix Rating System (CRS)®, a maximum five crosses equals a strenuous holy endorsement.

In the third installment of our series examining Jesus' thoughts on the presidential candidates, Our Lord and Savior turns his critical eye toward The Stormin' Mormon, Mitt Romney. Earlier in the week, Jesus shared his thoughts on John Edwards and John McCain, and Wednesday he weighed in on Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul.

Remember in the patented Crucifix Rating System (CRS)®, a maximum five crosses equals a strenuous holy endorsement.

The Florida Primary on January 29 is fast approaching. Today we continue our series examining Jesus' thoughts on the candidates, with evaluations of two fringe presidential hopefuls, Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul.

Remember in the patented Crucifix Rating System (CRS)®, a maximum five crosses equals a strenuous holy endorsement.

Primary day is only a week away and if you’re like us, before you cast your ballot, you want to know: Who would Jesus vote for?

In the first installment of the New Times series delivering JHC's thoughts on all of the relevant candidates - and some of the irrelevant ones - John McCain and John Edwards face the gauntlet that is Jesus' discerning eye.

Don't forget to check back each day right here on Riptide to see more of Jesus's candidate evaluations, ending with his choice for U.S. President.

Herewith, we apply our patented Crucifix Rating System (CRS)®. A maximum five crosses equals a strenuous holy endorsement.