New Times Broward-Palm Beach Needs a New Food Critic

Categories: Flotsam

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CandaceWest.com
Does eating foie gras at Bistro 1902 sound like something you could enjoy? (Pro tip: If the answer is "No", this job ain't for you,)

New Times Broward Palm Beach is looking for a restaurant critic. The ideal candidate will have experience both reporting about food and writing long-form restaurant criticism. He or she should have knowledge of Fort Lauderdale and Palm Beach, which comprise one of the nation's most burgeoning epicurean scenes. Job duties include writing reviews, reporting stories, and contributing to our Best of Broward-Palm Beach edition. Please send resumé and five food-related clips to: southfloridafoodwriter@voicemediagroup.com.

No phone calls please.


Great, Florida Has a "Testicle-Eating" Fish Now

Categories: Flotsam

via YouTube
Earlier this summer Tom Rigby, a Sarasota resident, was fishing in a local creek when he felt a hard tug on his line. After a protracted fight, Rigby was able to pull the fish onto his boat, but he was stumped at his catch. The large, grayish fish with a set of human-like molars didn't look like anything he'd ever seen in Sunshine State waters.

"I got out my fish ID chart and go through all of the species," Rigby later told Suncoast TV station WWSB. "I can't see anything that looks like the species."

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Video: Partying at Nixon Sandbar on Fourth of July

Categories: Flotsam

On weekends and holidays Miami-area sandbars like Nixon and Haulover frequently transform into some of the area's hottest water party spots. But policing the areas is exceedingly difficult, and after a spate of high-profile accidents at Nixon -- including the May 4 death of 23-year-old Ernesto Hernandez, who was killed after being sucked into the running propellers of a boat operated by DJ Laz -- the Key Biscayne Village Council has moved to block off the area from motorboats as a safety initiative.

See also: DJ Laz and the Dinner Key Boating Disaster: Too Many Watery Deaths

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Miami's Hottest Backyard Party Devolved Into a Drunken, Mango-Throwing Brawl With Cops

Categories: Flotsam

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Asit K. Ghosh via wikimedia commons
The arrest report is, at first glance, your standard South Florida fare. Location: a house party in South Miami. Suspect: an 18-year-old kid. Charges: battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest, and possession of drug paraphernalia. Then, however, there is the rather unusual weapon, listed in parentheses like an afterthought: mango.

The backstory behind the fruit-versus-cop incident isn't just bizarre. It's also a sneak peek into one of this city's hottest events -- wild bacchanals called Sharkface Backyard Parties, run by an 18-year-old who says he's related to one of Miami's most famous families.

"I don't like telling people that they are the best parties in town because I don't want to sound immodest," says Alex Balart, the young man behind the shows. "But this is everything I ever wanted in a party, and the universe just gave it to me."

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Floridians Just Keep Getting Older

Categories: Flotsam

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The economic downturn had forced several leaders on both the state and local levels to rebrand Florida as some sort of tech- and business-friendly state perfect for young, entrepreneurial professionals. That might give you the impression that Florida is turning into some hip, youth-friendly state. It's not. It's still America's retirement home, now more than ever.

Already by far the oldest state population in America, data released today by the U.S. Census Bureau today shows that not only did the average age of Floridians increase somewhat significantly between 2012 and 2013, so did the percentage of the population 65 years of age or older.

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After DJ Laz's Fatal Accident, Key Biscayne Moves to Ban Motorboats from Mashta Flats

Categories: Flotsam

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Photo by Barry Haynes via Wikimedia Commons
After two deaths and a rash of serious injuries just in the past year -- including DJ Laz's headline-grabbing incident when a man was chopped to death by the DJ's boat propeller -- the Key Biscayne Village Council has moved to ban motorboats from the offshore sandbar known as the Mashta Flats.

"It just gets worse and worse," council member Jim Taintor told Riptide. "And now it is completely out of control."

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The 13 Worst Things About Miami Summer

Categories: Flotsam

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While the rest of the America is gleefully welcoming the start of summer, Miamians are dreading it. It's the worst time of the year, full of bugs, heat, and nothing to do. Let us count the ways we're dreading the next few months.

See also: Miami's Five Best Public Pools

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Miami Vine Star Lele Pons Gets Slapped by Lincoln Road Living Statue (Video)

Categories: Flotsam

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Miami teenager Lele Pons may be the 305's leading advocate of the "Do It For The Vine" attitude. The high schooler has amassed 2.4 million followers on the six second video social media network thanks to her outrageous stunts.

If you've ever wondered what would happen if you walk up to the people who perform as living statues on Lincoln Road and start messing with them, well Pons' Vine has the answer: they will slap the shit out of you.

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Video: Man Asks Random Miamians To Show Him the Last Photo They Took

Categories: Flotsam

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San Francisco filmmaker Ivan Cash is currently traveling through out the country and asking random strangers to show them the last photo they took on their phone. In the most recent installment he traveled to Miami, and, yes, there's all the partying and hedonistic photos you'd expect, but also photos showing the results of quail mating season, a miraculous medical recovery and a surprising amount of beauty pageants.

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The First Duo Ever to Row to the U.S. From Africa Will Land in Miami Soon

Categories: Flotsam

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Photo provided by Karen Jurgens
Manser and Geldenhuys as they departed from Morocco.
More than 100 days and 5,000 miles after they departed from Morocco, a South African couple are about to become the first people ever to row -- yes, row, using their arms and all -- from mainland Africa to the mainland United States when they land in Miami this Monday.

Riaan Manser, 40, and his girlfriend, Vasti Geldenhuys, set off from Agadir, on the central Moroccan coast, December 15 in a 22-foot, 1,500-pound rowboat, named the Spirit of Madiba in honor of Nelson Mandela. They carried weeks' worth of dried food, as well as a saltwater converter, but traveled without a support team. Before reaching the Bahamas, where Riptide reached the couple, Manser and Geldenhuys had spent 74 consecutive days on the ocean. Apart from each other, they had no contact with any humans.

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