Miami News Blog

Breakfast at Timoney's? No thanks.

​City of Miami cops want you to think they're clean. Clean arrests. Clean records. Clean city.

But if you believe the State of Florida, the place where they eat is dirty, dirty, dirty.

This past June, state inspectors cited a tiny café in police headquarters on NW Second Avenue with 23 "critical" violations. Among them: "encrusted" and "soiled" material on a slicer, no soap in the men's room, and reuse of dirty gloves.

That's not the only problem at the homey café on the third floor. In 2008, the state fined the eatery $750 for labeling cheap panga fish as grouper. And just last week, state Department of Business and Professional Regulation spokesperson Alexis Lambert said the restaurant would be sent a warning letter because it hasn't paid $22.77 of its license fee. "The Miami Police Deptartment café is listed as delinquent because its license expired on October 1," she explained.

via flickr cc

​Suha Monem makes a mean falafel sandwich. As the head chef at Oriental Bakery & Grocery -- and the owners' daughter -- she has spent most of her life surrounded by pita, lamb, and tahini. After one Yelper tried her grub at the Coral Way shop a couple of years ago, he proclaimed, "They bake their own bread DAILY, so stop buying dehydrated pita bread at Publix and come get your bread here!" And last year, New Times' "Best of Miami" gave the place a nod for best falafel.

kevinv033 via flickr

tacos.

An enthusiastic 22-year-old foodie named Eric dropped by El Toro Taco three weeks ago. He ordered some grub and then logged into Yelp to write about it. "The food is affordable and delicious," he gushed. "My favorite thing to get is just tacos, ground beef, extra cheese, and a side of their bean dip. I would, however, recommend practically everything." 

via flicker cc

Tacos from some other restaurant.

On a Sunday night last January, a bubbly brunette waitress named Courtney Rhon stopped for takeout at El Toro Taco in Homestead. The 32-year-old mother of two ordered a beef chimichanga and a taco dish for her 14-year-old son. There was food at home for her two-year-old. They ate together around 9 p.m., and then went to bed.

Around 2 a.m. Courtney awoke violently ill. She couldn't stop vomiting, cramping, and sweating -- and had to keep running to the toilet. When her mother, Margaret Armstrong, checked on her the following afternoon, she was still in bed sick. Her legs had turned purple.

Armstrong rushed her sick daughter to the emergency room at Homestead Hospital, where she collapsed and went into cardiac arrest. Doctors tried to revive her with little success. They pronounced her dead at 7:16 p.m. The cause of death: Bacterial infection of the blood. Courtney's spleen had been removed more than ten years ago after an ATV accident, and her immune system couldn't battle the bacterial strain.

Courtney's parents filed a lawsuit against the restaurant June 4. It claims her death was due to contaminated food and negligence on the part of the owners. The family-owned Krome Avenue joint served dishes not "fit for human consumption" or "free of dangerous and potentially fatal bacteria," the suit states. The family is seeking punitive damages for "loss of companionship" and "mental pain."

Counters restaurant owner Emma Hernandez: "Our insurance company found there was no food poisoning involved."

But the restaurant has a history of failing health inspections. In January 2009 -- the month of Courtney's death -- state inspectors cited El Toro Taco at least 53 times. Among the findings: "dead roaches," "rodent droppings," and "encrusted grease and soil [on the] meat grinder."

Burger King, the attention-craving Miami-based fast-food giant, took its Internet-whoring marketing activities to a new level with the Whopper Sacrifice Facebook app. The app asked Facebookers to delete ten of their friends, who were then notified they'd been dumped for a free Whopper. Of course the whole thing was masterminded by Crispin Porter + Bogusky.

Facebook wasn't too pleased and pulled the plug yesterday. But in the week since Burger King encouraged the sacrifices, more than 230,000 innocent Facebook friends were axed.

It's still a win-win for BK, though. The company got plenty of ink, and now it doesn't even have to give out free food anymore.

Before we indulge, yet again, in Burger King's cheap and greasy menu of shameless blog-attention-whoring marketing tactics, let's get out our feelings about their cheap and greasy menu of food: their fries taste like salted cardboard, their salad selection is terribly disappointing, and the Quad Stacker is by far the grossest culinary creation to ever be served in restaurants across the globe. 

There are so many reality tv shows on network television these days, that I've really lost track. Apparently the Fox television network allows this ornery British chef Gordon Ramsay to have not one, but two reality series run on it's airwaves. This second one which I've never heard of until now, "Kitchen Nightmares," features Ramsey coming into poorly run restaurants, screaming at people, and then somehow magically turning the place into a respectable joint. The first two seasons (seriously, this has already run for two seasons?) featured restaurants mainly in New York and SoCal, but season three is looking for shady eateries in Miami and Fort Lauderdale. 

It's a little late for Thanksgiving, but Riptide would really like to express its most sincere gratitude to Burger King for being a locally headquartered corporation. It just gives us so much to blog about.

Enter the company's latest stunt: a body spray that smells like "seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat." Of course, in true BK style, the product has a quirky website, but it's more than just another web virus. You can actually head to Ricky's NYC and buy the stuff for $3.99. Or you can just order a Whopper Junior off the dollar menu and smear it all over your body. Either way, you'd probably get the same reaction from your preferred sex.

-- Kyle Munzenrieder

In 2000, former Heat superstar Alonzo Mourning started 33 Thanksgivings, delivering turkey dinners to underprivileged families throughout Miami. Since then, the annual charity event has expanded to 533 families, and Mourning still personally delivers 33 of them. Each meal includes turkey, green-bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy, bread rolls, stuffing, cranberry-orange relish, a gallon of iced tea, and pumpkin pie. It sounds better than what my mother usually puts out (sorry, Mom, but last year's instant potatoes?). Anyone looking to contribute or volunteer can e-mail Alonzo Mourning Charities.

--Kyle Munzenrieder

Ever wonder what our city would taste like if it were distilled down into hamburger form? According to European McDonald's, it would be a "100% beef patty, streaky bacon, Monterey Jack cheese, crisp lettuce, onion, and a cheese sauce all on a chili-and-chive-topped sesame bun." We're really not sure what any of these ingredients have to do with Miami, but we're just glad they didn't use Flamingo meat, as the ad had us originally thinking. The Miami Melt is (best as we can tell -- we don't speak Swedish) available in Scandinavia as part of a "Great Tastes of America" campaign, because regular burgers and fries apparently weren't American enough.

--Kyle Munzenrieder

I didn't inherit the business sense gene from my parents (which is why my job title is currently "blogger" and not "third generation entrepreneur"), so it comes as no surprise that The Cereal Bowl is success.

When the burgeoning chain opened its first cereal cafe across from my alma mater I thought the idea was fruitier than pebbles. The only time I ever went to the store the attendant was asleep on the couch, and I quietly backed out, careful not to wake him. I thought, "Jeez, this place must always be dead."

Turns out he might have just been exhausted from an earlier rush. The place has been turning a profit for the past 18 months, according to The Herald, and about three years after opening they're set to open two more locations: one on Miracle Mile, and a franchise in Delaware.

Glad I'm wrong, and if any one else has any business plans they want to run by me, feel free. If I think they suck, they'll probably be raving success.

--Kyle Munzenrieder

Manny (The Mayor) Diaz was at the grand opening of Manny’s (The Steakhouse) Steakhouse this week in the Met One Tower downtown. Manny’s comes from Minneapolis, and specifically from Phil Roberts, a Minneapolis/Miami resident. It is an extremely well-regarded emporium of beef that serves only USDA-certified dry aged, center-cut beef -- “No bull”. Manny’s has received bullish reviews from everyone from The New York Times to the Independent Cattleman’s Association, and Zagat-rated it as one of the Top 5 Steakhouses in the country -- all of which sways us considerably less than knowledge that Roberts also created The Oceannaire Seafood Room, arguably this city’s premier fish house. Manny’s is currently open for dinner nightly, beginning at 5 p.m.; lunch will likely be launched sometime in the future.

Raphaël Food & More is not a steakhouse, but a Mediterranean-type newcomer at 530 Lincoln Road. Still, it has designated June as “Meat Market Month”, which means guests who order from the menu’s meat section (lamb chops, filet, N.Y. strip, kosher bone-in rib-eye, etc. -- all under $30) receive a complimentary salad drizzled with organic corn oil vinaigrette, a glass of house wine, and an “Aphrodite créme brulee” with fresh mint and pineapple. You’ve got about two weeks left before the deal expires.

Filet mignon of milk fed veal with salsify and morel mushrooms (paired with Volnay 1er Cru, Bernard & Thierry Glantenay, “Santenots”, Burgundy, France, ‘02), and venison loin with sheep milk ricotta gnocchi, asparagus, and port wine mission fig (with Syrah-Grenache, Domaine de la Pertuisane, “Vieilles Vignes”, Roussillon, France, ‘04) will be the two meat courses at Pascal’s on Ponce’s 8th Anniversary Dinner on June 17th. The tasting menu will feature eight small plates in all, with an equal number of wines at a cost of $165 per person. Price includes a musical performance by young mezzo soprano Emelie Dybeck -- chef Pascal Oudin’s niece.

-- Lee Klein

Shop organic.

-- Lee Klein

Where: Mi Peru, 1760 Miami Gardens Drive, Aventura, (305) 940 9404.

What $15 Gets You: A big plate of chaufa with meat and a drink.

For those who lump Latin cuisine into a category consisting of rice, beans and some sort of meat, Mi Peru in Aventura is one hell of a surprise. The first thing you’ll notice as you browse the menu at the restaurant is the strong Japanese influence over a lot of their rice dishes. Chaufa is essentially fried rice with meat.

The price of the food really pushes the $15 budget, so I ordered the chaufa with meat. From the menu pictures posted above the order counter, I figured that the dish would be decently sized, but that was quite the understatement.

Mark’s, which New Times cited as one of Miami’s few “solid, serious venues” for dining, is shutting its doors on South Beach and in West Palm Beach.

“I’m sorry to inform you that we have closed this location,” says a recording at the former South Beach restauarant, located at the Nash Hotel. The recording notes that its Las Olas branch remains open. There was no answer at Mark’s corporate office in Palm Beach County late Thursday.

A manager at Mark’s at the Park, in Boca Raton, confirmed that restaurant is still open, but said that the venue in CityPlace, near downtown West Palm, has closed as well.

Another one, but not just any one. Mark’s South Beach, in the Hotel Nash, is no more. Perhaps not surprising, as The Nash was a curiously low-profile address for so high-profile a chef. It was out of sight from the street and, as far as locals were concerned, pretty much out of mind.

For those who may be new to these parts, the eponymous chef Mark Militello was one of modern day Miami’s very first star chefs. When in 1988 he opened Mark's Place in North Miami Beach (currently the site of Two Chefs Too) it was, bar none, the restaurant In town. Shortly thereafter Food and Wine magazine named Militello one of the Ten Best Chefs in America, and he received one national accolade after another. Just a few years ago The James Beard Foundation honored him as Best Chef in the Southeast.

Militello was, and still is, one of our elite, top-shelf toques, his best dishes so sensational they sear in the memory so that you can -- and do -- recall them for years to come. Larry LaValley, executive chef at Mark’s South Beach for years, is likewise a serious talent to be reckoned with. His name was somewhat buried in the Nash, too, but something tells me we’ll be hearing a lot more of him.

And we’ll still be hearing from, and can still savor Militello’s cuisine -- especially at his flagship Mark's Las Olas but also at Mark's at the Park (Mizner, that is).

--Lee Klein

No details yet, other than that earlier this week Michael Bloise, one of Miami's star chefs, left his position at Wish restaurant in The Hotel on South Beach. Bloise' menus at Wish were as provocative, whimsical, and innovative -- not to mention tasty -- as any in town. Who else served pan-seared foie gras with Cascabel roasted banana, daikon radish, and black pepper marshmallow, or black Chai tea créme brûlée with citrus madeleine and tomatillo marmalade? We wish that Bloise appears somewhere else locally in short time, and are confident he will. And we wish that Wish finds a chef as good, although we are not nearly as confident in this regard.

--Lee Klein

Where: Asaka, 20355 Biscayne Blvd., 33180, (305) 682-9331

What $15 Gets You: Miso soup, salad, several california rolls, chicken katsu, vanilla ice cream tempura (or wine).

Sushi is one of those foreign dishes that have become as American as apple pie (apple fish pie). It's not strange to ingest the raw fishies rapped in rice or seaweed.

To be honest, I had an aversion to fish and all things that once swam in the deep blue sea, so you can imagine how going to a Japanese sushi restaurant could have well turned out to be a nightmarish experience. But I'm glad to say that Asaka in Aventura has reconciled me with seafood, at least when it comes to sushi anyway.

The affair between chef Jeffrey Brana and The Raleigh Hotel was short and quiet, if not particularly sweet. Mr. Brana, admired for his work for many years as head chef at Norman’s and then for a quick but spectacular stint at his own Restaurant Brana, was brought in to upgrade the Raleighs’ restaurant just a few months ago. But, as Brana tells me, “It was not the right fit.” Being a classy guy he says nothing more, but “not the right fit” is generally a code word for “they were impossible to work for.” This, of course, is just conjecture on my part.

Brana, ready to move on, says he is “looking at doing a project that will allow me to try to do something special and push the envelope a little, without having to sustain a full-scale restaurant operation.” Sounds intriguing -- will keep you posted as we find out more. --Lee Klein

Spots like blissberry, a new highfalutin frozen yogurt place on Alton Road off Lincoln Road on South Beach, seem to be the dairy world’s stab at Starbucks formula. That is, overpricing products and trying to get customers not to care by making you feel trendy and special by merely ingesting them.

Blissberry's décor is funky with low, glass tables and sphere-shaped light fixtures. The busty woman in a tight tank top behind the counter was cute, let’s give her hot, and relatively friendly. The green tea yogurt was okay, bordering on good, but didn’t inspire yums between licks. But, for the more than $6 a medium cost with three chosen toppings (stingy spoons of granola, blackberries and coconut), it should be great. And the tables were dirty so there was no desire to get cozy like there can be at Starbucks.

The yogurt shop offers a decent selection of fruits and cereals but nothing looked scrumptious. Dessert shouldn’t feel that healthy. Leaving blissberry, visions of that dipped, $2 butterscotch cone I should have ordered from Dairy Queen danced in my head.

--Janine Zeitlin

Where: Graziano’s Gourmet in the Gables 2301 Galiano St., Coral Gables, (305) 460-0001

What $15 Gets You: Parrillada with a side salad (or fries) and an Anchor Steam.

Where: LC’s Roti Shop, 19505 NW 2nd Ave, Miami Gardens.

What $15 Gets You: A chicken roti, a sugar cake, a doubles, and a Coke.

Caribbean cuisine is hard to define because of the mixing of cultures that exist in the area generally referred to as the Caribbean. When a friend suggested that we go get roti, I didn’t know what to expect (think of a giant burrito stuffed with meat and curry and you’ll have a good idea of what it is).

We entered the dimly lit, mostly empty establishment smack in the middle of the Caribbean shopping plaza on NW 2nd Ave. A neon sign on the wall read, “LC’s Roti Shop.” A hand scribbled sign under the menu read, “No credit cards. Only cash.”

The place had that real neighborhood restaurant feel to it, it was a little intimidating however. Here’s a tip: don’t hesitate to order your food or wait there looking mystified as it will be a long while before you get anything.

Where: Japanese Market Inc. 1412 79th Street Cswy North Bay Village, (305) 861-0143

What you get for $15: The Deluxe Sushi combination (8 pieces Nigiri) plus a fat beer.

Sushi in this town sucks. It’s either prohibitively expensive or poorly done or some combination of the two. Fortunately for us all, there’s a little Japanese food market with a sushi bar that kicks everything else’s ass.

You’re greeted at the counter with a warm hand towel and a fine hello from the store’s confident, capable chef.

Where: American Adobo, 633 NE 125th St., Miami

What $15 Gets You: Teriyaki chicken, longaniza, rice, cabbage soup and a Coke

Don’t let the name American Adobo fool you, the only thing American in this restaurant is the ketchup. The restaurant focuses on Filipino cuisine.

As me and my friend walked in to the hole-in-the-wall place, we were greeted by the sounds of Filipino television. I learned that apparently they are really big on Valentine’s Day in the Philippines, all the station was broadcasting was romantic movies and teasers for an all day movie marathon today.

Rather than have a menu, the customer chooses what they want to eat by pointing at the different options simmering aluminum pans. There was only one other guy drinking coffee in the corner of the restaurant so we were able to ask what everything was. It all looked strange in the pans.

The food was nothing out of this world, but the price was descent. The rice was bland, but that maybe good for those who are watching their sodium intake (i.e. no one that would visit the restaurant anyway). I ordered teriyaki chicken and longanizas and some cabbage soup.

Where: DJ’s Diner (Best Western Windsor Inn), 12210 Biscayne Boulevard, Miami.

What $15 Gets You: A Mexican-style burger, fries, mozzarella sticks, and a drink.

DJ’s Diner at the Best Western Windsor Inn on 12210 Biscayne Boulevard is easy to overlook as most people are usually speeding by on that street. The space is clearly marked with a white and green sign, but the inn itself overshadows the small diner.

The place was empty when we walked in, but my friend theorized that we may have just missed the lunch crowd. It was a bit foreboding to be the only ones in the restaurant but the staff was friendly enough.

It must be a bit disconcerting for an American to enter Caribbean Delite. The Trinidadian eatery is nestled unassumingly in a generic, largely island-themed strip mall on SW 160th. Reggae blares from the record shop down the way, but the interior of the restaurant is silent, save for the sound of cooking in the back room. You know that big overhead menu sign that’s normally present in every fast food restaurant? They don’t have one at Caribbean Delite. Nor do they apparently have air conditioning, as the sweltering heat on a recent Saturday visit revealed. What they do have is a crowd of impatient customers waiting at the front counter, and curry. Delicious, Trinidadian-style curried chicken, beef, goat, or shrimp, served with a heavy portion of paratha roti. Trinis call that particular kind of roti buss-up-shut. We’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Our lame nation spent Sunday coveting the pig skin. Brazil ate it and had a real party. Because a bawdy, sexual parade is about a million times more interesting than two squadrons of men running into each other between expensive tv ads. That said, I decided to celebrate the week with Brazil’s national dish.

(Also, I’m poor: it’s filling and lasts forever).

It’s called Feijoada and, legend has it, it was invented by slaves who had been handed only the junk parts of the pig and a sack of black beans. Now it’s the national dish, a delicacy of sorts –meant to only be eaten, over rice, in the middle of the day (accompanied by half an orange and cane rum).

Winston Churchill painted seascapes from his cabana here. In the 1950s, General Motors debuted their new car models in its grand ballrooms. The club has hosted parties for Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Douglas MacArthur, Elizabeth Taylor, and the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. Tony Bennett and Julio Iglesias have sung on its stage. But not as a duet. And my own admittedly tenuous connection to the recently renovated Surf Club, at 9011 Collins Avenue in Surfside, is that I had driven by the place for years without realizing it. As a private entity, they keep a low profile.

Since 1930 The Surf Club has been known, by those in the know, as a premier destination for upscale dining and dancing in a sophisticated setting. Hotel rooms for members are stately, amenities are plenty, and a wide stretch of ocean front beckons. Grand receptions for up to 1,000 people? Yes, sir. Seated dinner for 800? Right away, Sir.

Where: Sabores Chilenos, 10760 W Flagler St Suite 305, Sweetwater, (305) 554-4484

What $15 Gets You: Churrasco al Plato, Inka Cola, and a pastry or dessert

When someone mentions Latin food in Miami, Cuban is the first word that comes to mind. In areas like Sweetwater and Hialeah, there are Cuban restaurants with only mere blocks separating them – sometimes they are separated by a thin wall. But Cuban food isn’t the only Hispanic food available.

Sabores Chilenos, as the name implies, specializes in Chilean cuisine. If you’ve never tried Chilean food, it isn’t anything out of the ordinary. The menu consisted of steak (a lot of steak), fish, and soups. So if you have a hankering for chicken then I suggest you find another place to whet your appetite.