Knowshon Moreno's Elbow Bent the Completely Wrong Direction in Fins Loss to Bills

Categories: Sports

That's not what elbows are supposed to do.
Miami has the Dolphins, the greatest most frustrating football team. A week after getting a plethora of good-job-smiley-faces on their Patriots test, the Dolphins came out and bombed their follow-up Buffalo Bills exam 29-10 like they had been out the night before playing Fireball shots flip-cup.

Even worse, the team's best player in week one -- running back Knowshon Moreno -- left the game when his elbow did all kinds of things that the human elbow shouldn't be able to do.

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305 Photo of the Day: Downward Spiral

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Today's photo comes from Dkeros' Flickr. If you'd like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.

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Dangerous Floridian George Zimmerman Allegedly Threatened to Take More Lives During Road Rage Incident

Categories: Crime

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George Zimmerman, the man who killed unarmed Miami teenager Trayvon Martin, has allegedly threatened to kill again.

Zimmerman was involved in a road-rage incident near Orlando and allegedly asked another driver, "Do you know who I am?," undoubtedly referring to his known status as a someone who taken another person's life. He then threatened to kill the man.

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Ethics Commission on David Rivera's Shenanigans: "We're Over It"

Categories: Politicks

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It's not been a good week for troubled ex-congressman David Rivera. First, a former confidant was sentenced to a slap on the wrist for her role in running a puppet primary candidate against Rivera's political rival Joe Garcia, with everyone suspecting that when he's eventually charged he'll take the blunt of the blame (and punishment).

Now the Florida Commission on Ethics, which is handling an entirely different and unrelated set of allegations against Rivera, has basically said they've had enough of him.

See also: Ana Alliegro Gets Light Sentence for Role in David Rivera Scandal

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"Fire Al Golden" Banner Set to Fly at FSU Game After Disgruntled Canes Fans Raise $1,000

Categories: Sports

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Well, that escalated quickly. A crowd-funded campaign to raise cash to fly a "Fire Al Golden" banner at an upcoming UM game has already reached its $1,000 goal; the banner is tentatively scheduled to fly at the November 15th Florida State game, the GoFundMe movement's founder tells Riptide. Now the group is setting its sights on larger goals, and more exposure.

"I had closed donations, but had numerous requests to open back up so others could donate." Danny Vazquez, the creator of the GoFundMe account, says. " I need to talk to all the donors and interested parties, maybe we'll fly a banner for another game, or maybe do something more comical."

See also: Disgruntled UM Fans Raising Money to Fly "Fire Al Golden" Banner at FSU Game

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Miami Preservation Group Appeals Lincoln Road Church's Plans To Sell Courtyard

Categories: News

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Courtesy of Touzet Studios
An artists rendition of how the Miami Beach Community Church's courtyard would look with a retail development.
The day before a Miami Beach city board voted on whether to let one of the city's most historic churches sell its courtyard to a retail developer, New Times threw a wrench in the proceedings with a new allegation: The developer "donated" $500,000 to the church's leadership just before the congregation elected to support the deal.

That news wasn't enough to sway the city board, but now the Miami Design Preservation League has filed a new appeal to the plan citing the payment and the historic nature of the Lincoln Road structure.

See also: Miami Beach Community Church Controversy: Developer Donated $500,000 Before Key Vote

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Video: Marlins Star Giancarlo Stanton Takes Fastball to the Face

Categories: Sports

via MLB TV
In a lot of ways, 2014 has been a damned good year for the the Miami Marlins, with the Fish unexpectedly hanging around the wild-card race all summer with a record right around .500. But they've also had a truly brutal brush of injuries.

Team ace Jose Fernandez was lost for the year way back in May when he blew out his elbow. In August, pitcher Dan Jennings was hit in the head with a terrifying 101 mile per hour line drive comebacker. And last night, the team's superstar, Giancarlo Stanton, had his own frightening on-field emergency when a fastball hit him square in the face.

See also: Video: Marlins Pitcher Dan Jennings Hit in Head by 101 MPH Line Drive

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WTF Florida Friday: What Is Your "WTF Florida" Name?

Categories: WTF Florida

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Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio
A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest.

This week: a special guide to find your "WTF Florida name" in honor of Ms. Cherries Waffles Tennis, a missing corpse, and Seinfeld phobia.

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City of Miami Might Ban Stores From Selling Puppies

Categories: Environmental

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Photo: Ellie via WikiCommons | CC2.0
The city of Miami is looking into the idea of banning the sale of puppies. It's not that the city commission doesn't like puppies and wants to make the city some sort of dystopian puppy-free police state. They like puppies a lot. In fact, that's why they're toying with the idea of banning stores from selling puppies.

Many pet stores are known to get their puppies from dog mills, where the conditions for dogs can be notoriously bad.

See also: Miami-Dade County Commission Wants To Crack Down on Puppy Mills

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305 Photo of the Day: Mind Game

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Today's photo comes from Rokkor Fella's Flickr. If you'd like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.

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Eight Things Miamians Really Don't Care About

Categories: Listicles

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People like to think of Miami as a passionate city, but there are some things even we can't muster up energy enough to care for.

See also: Six Problems Miami-Dade Leaders Can No Longer Afford to Ignore

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Children's Shelter Staffer Accused of Driving Two Runaways to Miami to Become Prostitutes

Categories: Crime

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Ricky Atkins, an employee at Florida Keys Children's Shelter in Tavernier, is behind bars after allegedly driving two teenage runaways to Miami where they were forced to work as prostitutes.

On September 1, one of the girls called police to report what happened and the investigation soon turned to Atkins.

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Tropical Disturbance Will Soak South Florida But Probably Won't Develop Into Bigger Storm

Categories: Category 5

via National Hurricane Center
South Florida may see a run on umbrellas today thanks to a weather system churning off the coast of the Bahamas this morning. But we'll have to wait another week for our first run on hurricane supplies, as forecasters now say the system isn't likely to develop into anything more than an annoying burst of bad weather through Saturday.

A National Weather Service Hurricane Hunter plane had planned to fly into the system this morning to gauge its chances of growing into a named system before slamming into Florida, but that flight has been canceled. Wind shear will keep the storms disorganized, forecasters say.

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Miami Beach Cops, Parking, and Code Officials Will Wear Body Cameras

Categories: News

via YouTube
A personal police camera made by Taser
Miami Beach is no stranger to contentious claims of police abuse, from the case of an allegedly drunken officer joyriding on an ATV to multiple fatal shootings. Now, Beach officers -- for better and for worse -- will catch all those incidents on film. Thanks to a 6-1 vote at the city commission last night, Beach cops, parking officials and code compliance officers will all be wired with mobile video cameras.

Sgt. Alex Bello, president of MBPD's union, says officers will push back against the plan for 24-7 video coverage. "There is value in that camera as long as it's a tool for the officer and they have the ability to turn it on and off when they deem necessary," he tells Riptide. "But if it's a monitoring device ... there's a problem."

See also: Miami-Dade Police May Start Wearing Body Cameras

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One Year After Ban, Only 352 People Have Been Cited For Texting While Driving in Miami

Categories: Road Rage

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Intel Free Press via Wikimedia Commons
As of last October 1, texting while driving in Florida is illegal. But almost one year after the ban went into effect, it's clear police across the state -- and in Miami-Dade County -- are rarely enforcing the law.

Only 352 texting while driving citations have been issued in the county in 2013, a spokesman for the Florida Highway Patrol (FHP) tells Riptide. In that same time period, over 50,000 non-criminal moving violations were issued in Miami-Dade, according to FHP statistics.

See also: Florida's Texting-While-Driving Ban Starts Today, Will Probably Stop No One From Texting While Driving

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David Beckham Admits to Being "Cheeky," Appears Ready to Compromise on Stadium Site

Categories: Sports

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David Beckham has admitted, in the most British way possible, that his dreams for a waterfront soccer stadium in downtown Miami might be impossible. Yes, he's admitted to being "cheeky." He now appears ready to compromise for a not-quite-dream site.

See also: David Beckham Considering Old Miami Herald Site for Stadium

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305 Photo of the Day: Keep it Balanced

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Today's photo comes from Rokkor Fella's Flickr. If you'd like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.

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Miami Dolphins Prove Even When NFL Gets It Right on Domestic Violence, Still Gets It Wrong

Categories: Sports

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via NFL's Hard Knocks
Even when an NFL team manages to get it right by punishing a player accused of domestic violence immediately, it's probably by accident.

Back in 2012, Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson was arrested on domestic violence charges for head-butting his then-wife Evelyn Lozada. Less than 24 hours later he was cut from the Miami Dolphins and never played for an NFL team again.

At the time the team was being filmed for the NFL's Hard Knocks, and the cameras chronicled the Fins' decision to let Johnson go. In light of the Ray Rice scandal, it gives an eerie view into how clumsy the NFL culture can be when it comes to concern for domestic violence.

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Ana Alliegro Gets Light Sentence for Role in David Rivera Scandal

Categories: Politicks

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"Conservative bad girl" Ana Alliegro was sentenced to not much more than a slap on the wrist today for her role in the David Rivera campaign corruption scandal. After pleading guilty, she'll get off with time served and six months of house arrest followed by two years of supervised release. Prosecutors had wanted at least a year in jail for Alliegro.

However Judge Robert Scola was adamant in his belief that former Rep. David Rivera was more to blame for the fiasco. Of course, Rivera has not yet been charged with anything.

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Six Reasons the Dolphins Big Win Sunday Wasn't a Fluke

Categories: Sports

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So, was that legit? Dolphins fans have to be asking themselves that question this week as the glow wears off from the Phins 33-20 ass-punting of the New England Patriots. After watching the Dolphins start 3-0 last year, then darf-and-barf away the season in every way possible, you really can't blame them.

It seemed like the same old Dolphins early, down 20-10 to the Patriots, swiss-cheese defense, and three-straight drives that resulted in a turnover. Then, it happened. Out of nowhere, the Dolphins did super-not-Dolphins-like-crap, to the shock and amazement of us all. But can they keep it up, especially against a schedule that turns from easy to down right impossible come later in the season?

I think maybe-probably-not they can, and here is why.

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