25 Reasons to Be Glad Miami Doesn't Have a Real Fall

Categories: Listicles

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Photo by Bahman's Flickr | CC2.0
It's the first week of fall ... or autumn. We're not sure. Some people are so obsessed with this season that they've given it not one but two different names while using it as an excuse to put pumpkin spice on everything and knit mittens while drinking hot chocolate around a bonfire or some nonsense.

Seriously, people in other parts of the country go crazy for fall. We're not really sure why. That time of year in South Florida is just summer 2.0 but with the added bonus of slightly less bugs and humidity. It really wasn't hard actually to come up with 25 reasons why we're glad that we don't have a real autumn.

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All 34 Cities in Miami-Dade County, Ranked From Worst to Best

Categories: Listicles

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Photo by Ann Baekken | Flickr CC 2.0
Somewhere over Miami-Dade.
There's nowhere in the U.S. quite like Miami-Dade County. It's larger than Rhode Island, has twice as many people, and is bordered by two national parks. Its 2.5 million residents are among the most diverse in the nation. And they live in a smattering of 34 incorporated cities, which range from 400,000-person metropolises to 86 solitary residents.

But we're not here to celebrate all of those unique statistics. We're here to argue about which of those 34 cities is best. What follows is the definitive ranking of each and every one of those communities.

See also: Eight Best Places to Go Stoned in Miami

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Eight Things Miamians Really Don't Care About

Categories: Listicles

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People like to think of Miami as a passionate city, but there are some things even we can't muster up energy enough to care for.

See also: Six Problems Miami-Dade Leaders Can No Longer Afford to Ignore

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Six Problems Miami-Dade Leaders Can No Longer Afford to Ignore

Categories: Listicles

photo by Brian W. Schaller via Wikimedia Commons
Riptide is usually the first to defend the honor of Miami when the New York Times parachutes in to mock our culture or our "sophistication." But the reality is we have a hell of a lot of serious problems here.

Yet the hottest issue at yesterday's Miami-Dade County Commission meeting was whether to rename a tiny airport. Certain commissioners are convinced that all Miami needs to be a true world-class city is a tacky-ass observational tower. Glitzy luxury high-rises that few locals can afford are rising at breakneck speed throughout the county, and no one seems concerned about the effects. Leaders still plug away that real estate and tourism alone can fuel our economy despite the fact that's proven to be dangerously false.

Local leaders have done an embarrassing job of addressing the city's most pressing issues, and it's time they pay attention.

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Miami Is the World Capital of What?

Categories: Listicles

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Lots of cities claim to be the world capital of something or other. Las Vegas is the world capital of gambling. Nashville, the world capital of country music. New York can be called the world capital of finance, media, and culture.

But what about Miami? Well, the most common answer is "world capital of Latin America." Fair and true enough, but that's not all we've been called "the world capital of." We trolled Google for some more answers by entering that starting phrase and seeing what others have declared us, and, well, most of the other choices aren't quite so flattering.

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The Seven Minor Annoyances That Drive Everyone in Miami Insane

Categories: Listicles

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Yes, traffic is bad. Tourists can be awful. The humidity can be oppressive. Yet we've come to accept all of those things about living in Miami. That's part of what we signed up for.

Sometimes it's the smaller annoyances that really make us want to catch the next flight to Milwaukee and never look back.

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The Ten Worst Things Tourists Do in Miami

Categories: Listicles

We love our tourists down here in Miami, if only because they keep a large chunk of our economy running. But like anything we love, they sometimes annoy us.

As the barrage of summer break tourists pours into South Florida this holiday weekend, let's review the things that bother us most about our money-spending visitors, in the hopes we can start getting along just a little better.

See also: The Ten Distinct States That Make Up Florida

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Eight Miami Life Hacks Everyone Should Know

Categories: Listicles

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Photo by Marc Averette | CC3.0
Despite the (mostly) beautiful weather and fast-paced lifestyle, Miami can be a rough place to live given the traffic, the parking, and the general South Florida insanity. Of course, those of us who've lived here for a while have compiled tips and tricks that make life just a little easier and more enjoyable.

Now we're passing along those vital Miami life hacks to you.

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Miami's Five Best Public Pools

Categories: Listicles

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It's the day after Memorial Day, which means, culturally at least, it's officially the beginning of summer. Soon the kids will be home from school all day and your A/C will pumping to the max. If only there were some sort of public facility to entertain the family while keeping everyone cool at the same time. Oh, wait, public pools!

See also: Miami's Ten Best Hidden Parks

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The 11 Strangest Miami-Related Terms on Urban Dictionary

Categories: Listicles

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While doing research to make sure last week's Miami Slang Glossary was on point, Riptide checked Urban Dictionary to see if we had missed anything. It didn't help. Instead, we just found a bunch of allegedly Miami-related terms we've never heard before and were probably made up by bored internet users. The vast majority of the terms were imagined crude sexual positions that we're pretty sure no one has ever attempted in real life.

Here are our favorites, only a few of which are crude sexual positions. Has anyone ever heard these terms in real conversation? Please let us know in the comments.

See also: Miami Slang Glossary: Pero Like, It's Super-Definitive, Bro

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