The Ten Worst Things Tourists Do in Miami

Categories: Listicles

We love our tourists down here in Miami, if only because they keep a large chunk of our economy running. But like anything we love, they sometimes annoy us.

As the barrage of summer break tourists pours into South Florida this holiday weekend, let's review the things that bother us most about our money-spending visitors, in the hopes we can start getting along just a little better.

See also: The Ten Distinct States That Make Up Florida

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Eight Miami Life Hacks Everyone Should Know

Categories: Listicles

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Photo by Marc Averette | CC3.0
Despite the (mostly) beautiful weather and fast-paced lifestyle, Miami can be a rough place to live given the traffic, the parking, and the general South Florida insanity. Of course, those of us who've lived here for a while have compiled tips and tricks that make life just a little easier and more enjoyable.

Now we're passing along those vital Miami life hacks to you.

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Miami's Five Best Public Pools

Categories: Listicles

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It's the day after Memorial Day, which means, culturally at least, it's officially the beginning of summer. Soon the kids will be home from school all day and your A/C will pumping to the max. If only there were some sort of public facility to entertain the family while keeping everyone cool at the same time. Oh, wait, public pools!

See also: Miami's Ten Best Hidden Parks

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The 11 Strangest Miami-Related Terms on Urban Dictionary

Categories: Listicles

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While doing research to make sure last week's Miami Slang Glossary was on point, Riptide checked Urban Dictionary to see if we had missed anything. It didn't help. Instead, we just found a bunch of allegedly Miami-related terms we've never heard before and were probably made up by bored internet users. The vast majority of the terms were imagined crude sexual positions that we're pretty sure no one has ever attempted in real life.

Here are our favorites, only a few of which are crude sexual positions. Has anyone ever heard these terms in real conversation? Please let us know in the comments.

See also: Miami Slang Glossary: Pero Like, It's Super-Definitive, Bro

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Miami Slang Glossary: Pero Like, It's Super-Definitive, Bro

Categories: Listicles

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Some visitors might prepare for a trip to Miami by brushing up on their high school Spanish. Which is silly because most of the people they'll actually run into here speak English. Sure, the English here may be peppered with Spanglish phrases and local sayings, and is often delivered in the distinct Miami dialect. So to help our city's many visitors, Riptide has put together a handy glossary of Miami slang. Common words and phrases are defined, and some are used in sentences (often in the way they would be commonly heard in Miami, and then how the phrases might be used if they ever escaped the 305).

Of course, our glossary is a work in progress. If we've missed anything, feel free to add it in the comments, and if it's legit, we'll gladly add it to the Miami Slang Glossary.

See also: The 11 Strangest Miami Terms on Urban Dictionary

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Miami's Ten Best Hidden Parks

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Photo via Ivan Peña's Flickr | MNT Flickr Pool
It's Earth Day, which at the very least means you should figure out some time to be outside and be one with nature today. Miami, of course, is the only major city sandwiched between two national parks (Everglades to the west, Biscayne to the east), but there's plenty of green space in between -- some of which might get overlooked. Here are our picks for ten of the best hidden parks in Miami-Dade.

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The Nine Worst South Florida Social Media Catastrophes

Categories: Listicles

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Social media can be a fun and enriching way to build your personal brand, keep in touch with friends, and share enlightening and helpful information.

It can also be a wretched hellhole of pure stupidity, endless misery, and unimaginable human horrors. Of course, South Florida have given us myriad examples of that.

So here now: the nine levels of South Florida social media hell.

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The Ten Actual Trashiest Spring Break Destinations

Categories: Listicles

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CoEd.com has unveiled their 20 trashiest Spring Break destinations for 2014, and Miami came in on the list at number 7. God damn it, we did not just build a brand new Herzog & De Meuron art museum to be branded as a trashy Spring Break destination with the likes of Panama City and Gulf Shores, thank you very much.

In fact, just right off the top of our heads we can think of at least ten far trashier destinations that didn't even make it on the list.

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Nine Reasons Miami Is the Best City Name Ever

Categories: Listicles

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It's a weird bit of civic pride, sure, but have you thought about how lucky we are to live in a city with as pretty a name as Miami? We could live in some town with a clunk of a name like "Fresno" or "Pittsburgh" or "Fort Lauderdale," but instead we have this short, elegant name that uses just three letters to lead to some awesome word play and design possibilities.

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Ten Differences Between Miamians and New Yorkers

Categories: Listicles

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We survived the New York invasion that is Art Basel, but make no mistake: New Yorkers are still very much among us and will be for the rest of the season. While both cities may be noted for their diverse makeup, rudeness, and cosmopolitan flair, we still can't help but view New Yorkers as something of a strange breed very different from ourselves.

Oh sure, this list of ten differences between Miamians and New Yorkers relies a bit too heavily on stereotypes of the jet-setting type of New Yorker who flies here for Basel and New Year's Eve. But considering most New Yorkers are convinced the only part of Miami is South Beach, we don't feel too bad about it.

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