Today's Rappers Owe Everything to As Nasty As They Wanna Be

Categories: Luke's Gospel

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for lukescartoon.JPG
Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke reminisces about the album that changed hip-hop.

It's hard to believe 25 years have gone by since I put out 2 Live Crew's As Nasty as They Wanna Be, the first album in history to be deemed legally obscene. Back then, I never imagined I'd be the only music artist to go to jail and take the fight all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court for this rap shit. I'm the reason today's biggest rappers, from Rick Ross to Lil Wayne to Drake, can make sexually explicit songs without fear of being prosecuted.

More »

LeBron James Would Have to Be Crazy to Leave Miami for Cleveland -- Updated

Categories: Luke's Gospel

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for lukescartoon.JPG
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke dives into LeBron-mania.

Update: LeBron James has made the dumbest decision of his life. He is heading to Cleveland.

LeBron James is not stupid. But leaving the Miami Heat would be the King's dumbest decision if he actually opts to move back to Cleveland. He'd be giving up living in paradise, residing in a state with no income tax, and playing for the most stable, most competitive organization next to the San Antonio Spurs. By going back to Cleveland, LeBron would essentially be bowing down to Dan Gilbert, the Cavaliers' owner who doesn't value James as the league's greatest player, other than using him to increase the value of the Cavaliers and sell out Quicken Loans Arena.

See also: All of the Luke's Gospel columns

More »

Charlie Crist Is No Friend to African-Americans in Florida

Categories: Luke's Gospel

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for lukescartoon.JPG
Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke finds parallels between inner city violence and wars abroad.

The Democratic Party in Florida is such a joke that its best candidate for governor is a flip-flopping clown. Charlie Crist has been busy reinventing himself as a liberal, but it's not fooling voters. Last week, a mysterious political group aired ads on black radio stations accusing Crist of disproportionately harming African-Americans by siding with gun rights groups and imposing harsh sentencing and drug policies.

More »

Liberty City Violence Is Like Iraq

Categories: Luke's Gospel

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for lukescartoon.JPG
Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke finds parallels between inner city violence and wars abroad.

The violent conflict in Iraq and the street violence in Liberty City share a common, disturbing theme: Governments in both places have systematically disenfranchised a class of citizens to the point where they have nothing to live for. When that happens, people become all about survival. They develop a "kill or be killed" personality.

More »

If Redskins Lose Their Patent, Aunt Jemima Better Watch Out

Categories: Luke's Gospel

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for lukescartoon.JPG
Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says the Redskins are protected by free speech

Civil rights activists are hailing the recent decision by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office to cancel six trademarks belonging to the Washington Redskins. The agency ruled the trademarks are offensive to Native Americans. But the ruling doesn't mean anything. In fact, the decision will be overturned on appeal like it was 16 years ago when the Redskins' trademark was similarly canceled.

More »

NCAA Recruiting Scandal Pits Miami Hurricanes Versus Florida Gators

Categories: Luke's Gospel

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for lukescartoon.JPG
Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special online edition, Luke opines about the Miami Hurricanes and Florida Gators getting caught up in another college football controversy.

The University of Miami and the University of Florida are embroiled in the latest college football scandal. The controversy highlights why NCAA rules restricting a recruiter's contact with student athletes make no sense.

More »

Online Pimps Are Real and They're Victimizing Kids in Miami

Categories: Luke's Gospel

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for lukescartoon.JPG
Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke talks about the new scourge of online pimps.

For decades, parents protecting their daughters from predators are used to watching out for dudes who look like Bishop Don Juan. They are on the lookout for a flesh peddler dressed in a flamboyant fur coat riding around in a tricked out Cadillac. Except the modern day pimp dresses like Steve Urkel and uses Instagram and Twitter to turn tricks.

More »

LeBron James Is Better Than Michael Jordan Ever Was

Categories: Luke's Gospel

Thumbnail image for lukescartoon.JPG
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke tells why LeBron James is better than Michael Jordan ever was.

On Monday night, in game four of the NBA Eastern Conference Finals, LeBron James broke Michael Jordan's playoff record for most games with at least 25 points, five rebounds, and five assists. It was another milestone for the Miami Heat superstar. As the Heat get ready to try to close out the series in Indiana tonight, it's time to admit that James has now taken Jordan's place as the greatest of all time. But you will never hear the former-players-turned-commentators admit it.

More »

Mark Cuban Is a Bigger Bigot Than Donald Sterling

Categories: Luke's Gospel

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for lukescartoon.JPG
Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke goes after Mark Cuban.

Let me get this straight. Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling is secretly recorded making bigoted comments about African-Americans, and he's banned from the National Basketball Association for life. But his buddy and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban admits he's a bigot during an on-camera interview, and now African-American sports pundits such as Stephen A. Smith are praising him for being honest.

What the hell?

See also: Mark Cuban Apologizes to Trayvon Martin's Family for "Black Kid in a Hoodie" Comment

More »

Solange Knowles Should Be in Jail for Assaulting Jay Z

Categories: Luke's Gospel

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for lukescartoon.JPG
Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke wants justice for men who are victims of domestic violence.

The New York City Police Department should have arrested Solange Knowles for assault and battery on Jay Z. But nothing will probably happen to her because there's a double standard when a woman is the aggressor in a domestic violence case.

More »

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

General

Loading...