Online Pimps Are Real and They're Victimizing Kids in Miami

Categories: Luke's Gospel

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Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke talks about the new scourge of online pimps.

For decades, parents protecting their daughters from predators are used to watching out for dudes who look like Bishop Don Juan. They are on the lookout for a flesh peddler dressed in a flamboyant fur coat riding around in a tricked out Cadillac. Except the modern day pimp dresses like Steve Urkel and uses Instagram and Twitter to turn tricks.

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LeBron James Is Better Than Michael Jordan Ever Was

Categories: Luke's Gospel

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Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke tells why LeBron James is better than Michael Jordan ever was.

On Monday night, in game four of the NBA Eastern Conference Finals, LeBron James broke Michael Jordan's playoff record for most games with at least 25 points, five rebounds, and five assists. It was another milestone for the Miami Heat superstar. As the Heat get ready to try to close out the series in Indiana tonight, it's time to admit that James has now taken Jordan's place as the greatest of all time. But you will never hear the former-players-turned-commentators admit it.

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Mark Cuban Is a Bigger Bigot Than Donald Sterling

Categories: Luke's Gospel

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Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke goes after Mark Cuban.

Let me get this straight. Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling is secretly recorded making bigoted comments about African-Americans, and he's banned from the National Basketball Association for life. But his buddy and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban admits he's a bigot during an on-camera interview, and now African-American sports pundits such as Stephen A. Smith are praising him for being honest.

What the hell?

See also: Mark Cuban Apologizes to Trayvon Martin's Family for "Black Kid in a Hoodie" Comment

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Solange Knowles Should Be in Jail for Assaulting Jay Z

Categories: Luke's Gospel

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Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke wants justice for men who are victims of domestic violence.

The New York City Police Department should have arrested Solange Knowles for assault and battery on Jay Z. But nothing will probably happen to her because there's a double standard when a woman is the aggressor in a domestic violence case.

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Miami-Dade Needs More Than a Panel to Fix Race Relations

Categories: Luke's Gospel

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Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains what's wrong with race relations in Miami-Dade.

African-Americans in Miami don't get a fair shot at anything. It's sad when young black children can aspire to become president but they can forget about ever being elected mayor in their own hometown.


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The NBA Should Have Banned Donald Sterling a Long Time Ago

Categories: Luke's Gospel

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Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times.

Karma finally caught up to Donald Sterling, the slumlord owner of the Los Angeles Clippers. Just when his team is finally thriving and competing for an NBA championship, the man upstairs gave The Donald a good ole kick in the balls.

Yesterday, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver banned Sterling for life after the world got to listen to secretly recorded tapes of the billionaire making racist comments to his ex-girlfriend, V. Stiviano, a woman who is of Mexican and African-American descent.

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A Liberty City Star Begins His NFL Journey

Categories: Luke's Gospel

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Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke looks back on the success of a future NFL star.

All his life, Devonta Freeman has been looking for a way out of the Pork 'n' Beans projects in Liberty City. When the former Miami Central High and Florida State University star running back was still a child, I coached him in Pop Warner games for the Liberty City Optimist Club until he turned 13. Back then, I had to lay out a harsh truth for him.

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Army Hair Rule Discriminates Against Black Women

Categories: Luke's Gospel

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Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke takes on the Army's crack down on African American hair.

The Pentagon is more concerned with enforcing a racist policy aimed at African-American female military personnel than addressing the Army's suicide epidemic among soldiers. Earlier this month, the Army banned hairstyles typically worn by black women -- twists, dreadlocks, and large cornrows. Sixteen African-American congresswomen -- including our own Democratic representative, Frederica Wilson -- recently signed a letter urging Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel to reconsider the ban.

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FBI Snitch Al Sharpton Has Never Helped African-Americans

Categories: Luke's Gospel

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Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke takes on the FBI's most famous rat.

No one should be surprised that Al Sharpton was a major snitch for the federal government. Last week, the Smoking Gun unearthed damning evidence of the good reverend's onetime role as a mob rat during the '80s. The blockbuster exposé detailed how Sharpton became the FBI's "CI-7," toting around a special briefcase outfitted with a secret recording device that caught several wiseguys from the Genovese crime family on tape multiple times. The Smoking Gun says he flipped when FBI agents showed Sharpton a videotape of him talking about doing a cocaine deal with an undercover agent posing as a South American kingpin.

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The Miami Heat Really Wants Second Place

Categories: Luke's Gospel

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Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke addresses what's wrong with the Miami Heat before the big game against the Indiana Pacers.

I love the Miami Heat, but right now Lebron James and company are not playing like a championship-caliber team. A ball club chasing its third title is supposed to do what the San Antonio Spurs are doing -- beating the shit out of mediocre teams. With the Heat, it seems every game is coming down to the wire regardless of whom they play.

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