Alex Izaguirre

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke goes after one of the most watched shows on cable television.

I've never been a big fan of the First 48, the reality-TV show that follows homicide investigators working cases that is now in its 12th season. The Miami Police Department is one of nine law enforcement agencies that allows Hollywood-based ITV Studios to film detectives working furiously to solve a murder within the first two days of finding a body. My problem is that the majority of the Miami homicides depicted on the First 48 inevitably originate in Overtown, Liberty City, Little Haiti, and other inner-city neighborhoods.

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Alex Izaguirre

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the lack of faith in the world.

On February 20, the holy spirit lifted 82-year-old Brownsville resident Emma Anderson. The frail senior citizen belted out gospel hymns as she rode the Metrorail home. Satan and his demons must have heard her angelic singing. A guard from 50 State Security, the company hired by Miami-Dade Transit to watch the stations and rail-cars, brutally yanked her off the train, causing her to slip and fall on the hard concrete floor of the Brickell Station.

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Alex Izaguirre

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke gives props to a high school coach making it to the NCAA big leagues.

I want to congratulate Telly Lockette. He's getting an opportunity that great high school football icons such as Walt Frazier and Billy Rolle were never afforded. Lockette is the first African-American coach from a Miami-area high school to land a job with a major college program. On Monday, University of South Florida Bulls head coach Willie Taggart added Lockette to his staff as running backs coach, according to CBS Sports reporter Bruce Feldman.

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Alex Izaguirre

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke probes a new charter school started by a special interest group.

The Latin Builders Association is one of the most powerful lobbying organizations in Miami-Dade County. For more than 30 years, the LBA and its members have lorded over the reckless growth in West Dade that has overcrowded schools, clogged roads, and stretched police and fire services to the limit. In addition to paving over the Everglades, the group has also done an amazing job of making sure all their homeboys get most of the lucrative government construction contracts.

Now the LBA has figured out a way to continue its monopoly by using taxpayer money.

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Alex Izaguirre

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke wants to help Chick-fil-A embrace the Rainbow Coalition.

I'd like to offer my pro bono services as a mediator to Chick-fil-A president Dan Cathy, whose comments against gay marriage have made him public enemy number one in the LGBT community. Like Roger Fisher, the great Harvard scholar who helped engineer the 1979 Eygpt-Israel peace treaty, I want to broker a truce between my favorite fast-food chain and my homosexual and transgender brothers and sisters.

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Alex Izaguirre

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why Lil Wayne is a dick.

Miamians are mad as hell at rapper Lil Wayne because he said fuck the Heat, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh on Sunday at a nightclub party in Houston. Lil Wayne even claimed he had sex with Bosh's wife. That was way out of line. However, don't blame Weezy for talking trash.

He has no respect for the city because people in Miami's entertainment industry -- from local radio DJs to South Beach nightclub promoters to the Heat's front office -- spread their legs for him and every out-of-town celebrity who rolls through town.

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Alex Izaguirre

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke analyzes the Miami Hurricanes' sudden aversion to Florida high school football players.

The University of Miami football program rose to prominence by recruiting gift ballers like NFL Hall of Famer Warren Sapp, two-time Super Bowl winner Ray Lewis, and the late great defensive back Sean Taylor, to name a few of the dozens of great Hurricanes who went on to have stellar professional careers. Those days seem over.

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Alex Izaguirre

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Alex Izaguirre

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke comes to the defense of the Miami Dolphins.

I'm with Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross on this one. The county and state should give the team public funds to help defray the $400 million cost of upgrading Sun Life Stadium. The Dolphins' home has done more to boost the local economy than the American Airlines Arena, the BB&T Center, and Marlins Park ever have.

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Alex Izaguirre

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke gives his take on the latest developments in the NCAA probe of the Miami Hurricanes.

The NCAA is finally wrapping up its investigation into the University of Miami athletic department. Any day now, President Donna Shalala will receive a letter from the sanctioning body laying out the violations the school allegedly committed by allowing disgraced Hurricanes booster Nevin Shapiro to run rampant for close to a decade. It's time the NCAA ended its witch hunt against the U.

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