Thursday, Jan. 7 2010 @ 9:00AM
​Hello, Kitty: I have been dating this woman for about six months, and we have had some disagreements. She is 30 years old, very attractive, and low-key. She doesn't club, drink, smoke, sleep around, or anything else of the sort. She mostly stays home, watches TV, reads the Bible, and prepares lesson plans for her job (she's a teacher). However, there are some things that bother me about her. For one, she is a grandmother. This means (to keep a long story short) she had a rough childhood and is not a very good parent. Number two, she has lied to me on a couple of occasions.
The last straw was when all of a sudden she told me she had been a "bartender" at three different strip clubs around South Florida when she was a teenager. At this point, I feel like an idiot because I really don't even know the person who I have been involved with for the past six months. I am less disturbed by the former job than the fact she kept that from me. So finally, my question is: Am I wrong for not trusting this woman?
Thanks.
Nottin LuvwitaClick
here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Dec. 31 2009 @ 1:36PM
​We are the paper that will put a ball gag in your mouth and slap you onto the cover. We get ragged on about the pros advertising in the back of our book and the smutty things we sometimes document within our pages, but with Magic City Kitty, you guys write in and prove to us that your sexual appetite is just as varied and, er, adventurous. Here are the top nine of last year (in no particular order).
Feliz Año Nuevo! 1.
Got Semen? This guy's girlfriend had a New Year's resolution, and it was to eat better. She obviously hadn't heard about the health benefits of sperm in a healthy diet because she spat each time his wiener did. It's a girls' right to choose whether to spit, swallow, or gargle -- but totally the dude's right to leave if she chooses to force his seamen into the sewer sea.
2.
Can I Have Doggie Sex?
When vibrators and affairs are not an option, one woman wanted to know if she could try to tap man's best friend. Not her man's best friend, but an actual dog. Her search for love, companionship, and a boner left many shaking their heads. And others eyeing their pets.
3.
Poo Poo Paranoia
"Everybody Shits" is not a book, but if it were this girl could use a copy. She was stricken with a serious case of poo poo anxiety everytime her boyfriend came over for a sleepover, and her sex life was suffering because of it. No word on whether he appreciated the gesture or not.
4.
He's in Love With a Stripper. Me.
T-Pain made falling in love with a stripper into a catchy song, but this woman forced her boyfriend into the same situation -- without him even knowing it. Once one of his friend's discovered her salacious secret, she had to let the cat out of the bag...and this time, for free.
Thursday, Dec. 24 2009 @ 9:01AM
​Hello, Kitty: I've always enjoyed giving oral, but I rarely do it to the guy I'm dating now. I haven't lost my zeal for it -- it's just that this guy's penis is really small, and the experience isn't as pleasurable for me. He never mentioned wanting more head or even asked why I don't do it -- until we were getting wasted with friends one night and one of my bigmouthed girlfriends mentioned my love of sucking cock. Ever since, he's been asking me why he didn't know about this, and I don't want to tell him the real reason. So what can I say without making him feel bad?
Betta HedClick here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Dec. 17 2009 @ 9:01AM
​Hello, Kitty: I was with a girl for a very long time before my five years in prison, and we've stayed together. She loves me very much and has vowed she will stand by me until I come home, but a few days ago she told me she wasn't happy and that she was fed up with the situation. She wants to call it quits, but she is the only woman I have ever been in love with, and the thought of losing her is killing me softly. I respect her for being very open and honest with me, and I want her to be happy, but I can't let go of her. She says that if I love her, then I'll let her go. I have only 26 more months to do. Do you think it's right for me to fight for her? Or is it my duty to respect her and let go? She's said that when I get out, we can start all over again -- that is, if I've left the fast-money life and she's single. Still, I'm depressed and I don't want to lose her. What is the right thing to do?
Jayl BurddRead Kitty's answer
here.
Thursday, Dec. 10 2009 @ 12:16PM
Hello, Kitty: I'm having issues with a new girl. I can't figure out if I'm settling for less or just being shallow. We've been dating for about three months and things are pretty great. Emotionally and mentally we really click, but physically she's just not clearing the bar. The problem is, she's too petite. I like full-figured women but thought I would try something different with her. Unfortunately, because of her size, the sex is taking a hit. We have sex only once a night because anything more than that just hurts her too much. We've tried lube, but she still taps out before I'm done. As a result, I'm constantly looking at other women and thinking about them. Should I just get over myself and accept that I have a great girl or cut her loose to find a bigger pot of gold?
Starvin Marvin
Click here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Dec. 3 2009 @ 9:00AM
​Hello, Kitty: I'm a full-time girlfriend and a part-time stripper, and though it's been easy to juggle my two lives so far, I think the shit is about to hit the fan. My boyfriend is superconservative, and I mean Bible study, no cursing, dinner at 6, no drinking, no nothing. And I'm... well, a little more liberal. I'm sure that's what he likes about me, but I'm not so sure he'd like that I shake my liberal ass nude three times a week. I've been able to hide it from him for the past seven months, but the other night, one of his supposedly straight-laced friends walked into my club and saw me on the center stage. He basically threatened to tell my boyfriend about my job, but he hasn't done it yet. I don't know what he's waiting for, but I'm wondering if I should beat him to the punch. Help!
Pol DanzClick
here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Nov. 26 2009 @ 9:04AM
​Hello, Kitty: I've always been a pretty frequent masturbator, and ever since I first used a massager as a vibrator, I've been doing it even more. Though the sensation alone can get me off, I climax much more quickly if I imagine that some hot girl is giving me oral. It's usually a celebrity, sometimes a girl I know, or someone I imagine -- but always a female. At first, I had this fantasy only when I was alone, but now even when my boyfriend is actually down there, I still imagine "she" is doing it. I'm worried he'd be hurt if he found out, and I'm even more worried that for the rest of my life I'll have to do this in order to get off. What I'm not worried about is whether I'm a lesbian. It's clear to me that I am. Should I pursue it? Help!
Kynda Lez
Click here for Kitty's answer.
Friday, Nov. 20 2009 @ 3:38PM
​When things dry up in the bedroom, our first instinct is often to blame it on our lover. Too boring, too monotonous, too too too used to the same ol' sex game. While the desert between your legs could be psychological, it turns out that you should visit a doctor before dumping your guy because health problems can be the cause and catalyst for many sexual issues. Tonight at University of Miami/ Jackson Memorial Hospital, several experts will be on hand for "Sex and a Healthier You," a discussion on sexual health and finding out why 70% of women have issues but only 17% actually visit their doctor to do something about it.
On the panel are Dr. Paul Norris, Assistant Professor of Clinical Obstetrics and Gyneceology at Jackson; Dr. Susan Kellogg-Spadt, Director of Sexual Medicine and Co-Founder of The Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute; and Dr. Pepper Schwartz, noted relationship expert, author, and Professor of Sociology at the Univesity of Washington.
Thursday, Nov. 19 2009 @ 9:00AM
​Hello, Kitty: I've been single for close to three years, and even though I hook up with girls, I'm still sexually unfulfilled. Not that I want something more consistent, it's just that the girls I find aren't open to doing the things I want to do. It seems like they all want me to be lovey-dovey and gentle, when I really just want to pound away at them. If I try to up the speed or intensity, it's all "What are you doing?" and "Ouch." So lately I've been considering trying prostitutes, but I don't know if this is a good idea. Also, where would I find one?
John MeeClick
here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 8:59AM
​Hello, Kitty: I'm a lesbian dating a woman who was born with
both male and female parts. I learned about her "situation" after we'd
been dating for two months. I'm not angry or upset -- I'm falling in
love with her. She says that she loves me too, but she doesn't show it.
She's always mean to me, calling me names and saying that I'm bisexual
because she has a penis and I'm interested in sexing her. And she's
right. I am, but only because it's her. I don't see her as a man. What
do I do? Should I stay or go? She's just really evil to me. She says
that she only says those things because she gets mad. I believe she
means what she says. Please help Kitty, I'm so confused.
Tue Ferone
Click here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Nov. 5 2009 @ 8:53AM
​Hello, Kitty: After 34 years of being my mom, my lovely mother has become a lady-licking, full-blown lesbian. She and my dad divorced nearly ten years ago, but judging from the parade of guys who followed, I thought she was hetero. She and I aren't close enough to discuss her sex life, but I'm a little hurt that she kept such a big secret. I discovered it on... wait... Facebook. That's right, she's online kissing and hugging other women. I want to ask her about it, but I'm not sure if it's my business. Should I keep quiet or confront her?
Natma Mami
Click here to read Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Oct. 29 2009 @ 9:30AM
​Hello, Kitty: My roommate and I had sex a few days ago, and now
things are weird. I never knew he was into me, but we were drinking and
the night went in a totally different direction than I expected. Now he
barely makes eye contact, never speaks to me, and I'm worried our
friendship is ruined. Even worse, when his girlfriend comes over, he
goes out of his way to say mean shit to me. I'm sure he's uncomfortable
about sleeping with a guy, and this is his homophobic way of covering
up what we did. How can I make this situation more bearable? I'm not
moving out, I really don't want him to, but something's gotta give.
Help!
S. AwquardnowClick
here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Oct. 22 2009 @ 8:59AM
​Hello, Kitty: I have a major dilemma. I'm a gay male who's becoming curious about women. I have never been with a woman sexually. The problem is that I do not want to pay for sex because I'm not sure I will be able to go through with it. I've gone online to meet women, and some have been excited because it's my first time. But I've never met any of them. It's all talk and no action. Then again, I don't want to get into a relationship with a woman and then when the sex comes, find out I don't like it. So I'm stuck. Should I live my life without acting on this curiosity? What other options do I have? Please help me. Thank you.
Ghat Fisch
Click
here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Oct. 15 2009 @ 1:10PM
Hello, Kitty: After eight long years of friendship, I'm ready to tell my bff I'm in love with her. When we first met, it was under the pretense that I wanted to date her, but she shot me down completely. She said I wasn't her type, she'd rather be friends, etc., etc. At first I was torn up, but then I realized she'd change her mind if she saw what a great friend I could be. Over the years, I've always been there for her, as a friend and kind of like a brother. Whenever a guy fucked her over, I was there. If she needed food, money, a ride, I was there. And now I want her to be mine. But I'm not sure how to go about it. Of course, I don't want her to know I've been lying in the bushes, waiting for the right opportunity. So how can I go about seducing her?
Mo Thanfrens
Click here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Oct. 8 2009 @ 12:14PM
​Hello, Kitty: After a few dates with an extremely successful businessman, I accepted an invite back to his place. He's handsome (also 10 to 15 years my senior), and I wanted to hook up. After a round of mediocre sex, we were lounging on the bed when he scooped up some cum and ate it. Shocked, I pretended like I didn't see it. A bit later, things were getting a little hot and heavy again. Kneeling above me, he began to choke me, double-handed. He is a pretty huge guy, at least twice my size. It wasn't your normal one-handed hot-sex choke. It was a slow, double-handed, hard choke. He did it in stride, so I couldn't even question it. Was that normal? Ready to make a smooth exit, I started to gather my clothes. At this point, his dog jumped onto the bed and began furiously humping his arm -- he allowed it for quite some time. I might even say he participated in it. Normal? Now, one of these things I maybe could have dealt with. But this is triple-threat weird, right? Am I wrong?
Beth Less
Read Kitty's answer here.
Thursday, Oct. 1 2009 @ 8:59AM
​Hello, Kitty: All of my previous girlfriends have swallowed, with relish. Except two: one who would ask me to tell her when, and now my current, who runs to the bathroom to spit it out. Does not swallowing mean a relationship lacks something? What's the rule on this? Please help.
Don Thadrayne
Read Kitty's answer here.
Thursday, Sep. 24 2009 @ 9:48AM
​Hello, Kitty: My wife and I are both 25. We have been married
for three years, together for five. I love her with every last beat of
my heart, but I feel she has lost interest in some sexual activities.
Like most men, I love oral, both giving and receiving. She used to wear
me out; now I have to basically beg her for it. Actually, once she gave
me head, like, eight times in one day. I will never forget that day.
Could I be doing something wrong? I trim down there and I'm clean. I
also die for the chance to give her oral. It's actually my favorite
thing. I can do it for hours. Anyway, how can I get her more into this
kind of thing? She loves doggy-style and cowgirl position, so she isn't
cutting sex out altogether, but I'm worried there will be no more oral.
What can I do? Do women normally "calm down" like this?
Lhone Lee Coque
Read Kitty's answer here.
Thursday, Sep. 10 2009 @ 8:47AM
​Hello, Kitty: My girlfriend doesn't get wet enough when we're having sex, and I want to buy her some lube. But I don't know which is the best kind to use. Of course, I've heard of KY, but when I went into Walgreens to check out the options, there were so many my head spun. I've never been with someone who's had this problem, and my girl claims she's never heard the complaint before, so she's clueless. My friends are worthless because all they know is what they see on TV. Please help.
I'm starting to chafe.
Shiez Sirhara
Read Kitty's answer here.
Thursday, Sep. 3 2009 @ 8:56AM
​Hello, Kitty: All of this talk about celebrities having babies has my wife really wanting to conceive, but I don't think we're ready. Hell, I'm not ready. We've been married for three years and both of us have steady jobs, but I'm 26 and she's 24. I want to enjoy the rest of my 20s before a baby is thrown into the picture! She seems to think that because Nicole Richie and now that Kardashian girl are having kids, it's cute and will be easy. She's an only child who has no concept of how hard this will make our lives. She realizes those rich people have money to hire 'round-the-clock help, but that hasn't changed her mind. I'm wondering how long it will be until she "forgets" to take her birth control pill and I get the, "Oops, we're pregnant" announcement. Please help. I love my wife and eventually want to have kids, but not now.
Noh Bebibump
Click here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Aug. 27 2009 @ 12:34PM
Hello, Kitty: I'm gay and my boyfriend wants to add another man into our sex play. While I'm not totally against the idea of a threesome, I can't help but feel he's suggesting it because I'm not enough for him. We've been a couple for six years, living together for five, and I admit things have cooled down a bit in the bedroom in the past year or so. But I thought it was mutual and temporary! Now, while the idea of a new sexual adventure is intriguing, I'm worried about what it means. He's never mentioned I'm not satisfying him, so should I assume it's just the horndog in him that wants another guy in our bed?
Joe Blow Mo
Read Kitty's answer here.
Thursday, Aug. 20 2009 @ 9:00AM
​Hello, Kitty: After four months of me begging, my ex-girl and I
are finally back on good terms after my cheating ways caused our
relationship to crumble. We hang out nearly every night, and unlike
before, when we'd just party and get fucked up, we're actually spending
quiet, quality time together. And excuse my corniness, but I'm loving
every minute of it. Before our breakup, we had been together for nearly
five years and discussed marriage, a family, and all, so I'm glad to
get back on that path with her. But of course there's a problem -- a
pretty big problem. While we were broken up, I was fucking another girl
and she got pregnant. The worst part is she's keeping the baby, she's a
cokehead, and in around five months, I'm going to be the father of a
junkie's child. My girlfriend is going to be beyond pissed. I haven't
told her yet, and I want to wait until we're truly back at 100 percent
because I know this can be a deal breaker. We've always talked about
having kids, and she's going to be devastated to learn I'm having a
child. Please tell me how I can break this news to her without losing
her again.
Iam D. FawtherRead Kitty's answer
here.
Thursday, Aug. 13 2009 @ 8:59AM
​Hello, Kitty: I love giving head to my boyfriend, but my jaw
hurts and is sore for days after I do it. He doesn't ask for or expect
it all the time, so I don't really want to tell him. But the pain is
unbearable. It usually gets going around halfway through, and I have to
take breaks, which I'm sure prolongs the process and intensifies my
pain. I've never heard of anyone having the same problem. I don't know
if it's something wrong with me or due to the size of his cock. Help!
Kok Zucker
Read Kitty's answer here.
Thursday, Aug. 6 2009 @ 8:50AM
​Hello, Kitty: I'm always begging my boyfriend to spend a
couple of nights at my house, but when he finally obliges, I can't wait
for him to leave. Not for good, just for 20 to 30 minutes so I can have
time to shit and clear the air in my apartment. But he never leaves,
and I'm forced to spend my evenings with a bubbling stomach. I
really
don't want to poo in front of him, and my apartment is too small to
avoid the smell if I do. But my self-induced constipation is ruining
our sex life because while he's pounding away, all I can think about is
how I'm going to keep myself from exploding. Is there maybe a
conversation we can have to clear the air or a way I can handle my
business without grossing him out?
Terd N. Me
Read Kitty's answer here.
Thursday, Jul. 30 2009 @ 8:17AM
​
Hello, Kitty: I've been seeing a girl in Virginia who recently came to Miami for the weekend. She's married but gives me the song and dance that she's going to leave her husband because he's boring, I'm fun, blah, blah, blah. Usually things are really cool between us, but this time, she found a condom wrapper in my bathroom trash can and flipped out. She screamed that I wasn't into her, said I was just playing her. But I never thought I couldn't fuck anyone else! Now she's acting crazy and throwing herself at guys right in front of me. I've never told her I wouldn't date anyone else. She left Miami on a bad note, and although I want to continue fucking her, I hate the drama. If there's a way I can salvage what we had, I'd like to. But if that last blowup means she expects exclusivity, I want no part of it. Help!
Stu Pyd
Read Kitty's answer here.
Thursday, Jul. 23 2009 @ 2:50PM
Hello, Kitty: I have been dating my co-worker for two and a half months. At first, it was supposed to be just as friends, but things ended up unexpectedly steamy. He is going through a separation, and I was there to console him. We ended up falling in love, and we make love all the time. But it's hard because he still lives with his wife, plus he has kids and is linked up with his wife. But he tells me he wants to be with me and shows me he does. We're together all the time; he even spends the night at my place, but it's so hard because I feel like second plate when I really want to be main dish. How long should I wait for him? I know it's the beginning and I shouldn't rush things, but we are too deep already. He tells me to have patience and that things will come, but the question is: When?
Sicka Waitin
Read Kitty's answer here.
Thursday, Jul. 16 2009 @ 8:57AM
Hello, Kitty: I'm 28 years old and have been in a committed
relationship with my boyfriend for close to three years. We've yet to
shack up but have definitely been talking about marriage a lot lately.
I would describe my feelings toward him as "love." But I'd also call
them "bored." I'm guessing this is normal, but I don't see how I can
consider a lifetime with this guy when things between us are already so
extremely far from exciting. We used to get it on from the bedroom to
the kitchen. Now we seem to be just going through the motions and I'm
losing my mind! Truth is, I have some ideas on how we can spice up our
love life. But I'm afraid to approach him. He might think I've been
with someone else. How can I introduce a breath of fresh air without
making him think I'm trying to change "us" or that somehow I've changed
through some outside lovin'?
Frethus Pussee
Click here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Jul. 9 2009 @ 8:59AM
Hello, Kitty: I've been seeing a fellow officer for a while -- ever since I was deployed to
Kuwait six months ago. This is my second tour. My first ended when I proposed to a fellow officer whom I had been dating. Though we lived together for a while, the relationship pretty much fell apart when things heated up with the new girl. Now I don't I know what I would do without my new girlfriend. But there's a problem. I just got word my ex will be posted here in six weeks. She still wears the engagement ring I got her, has been writing me since I've been here, and expects to rekindle our relationship once she arrives. I admit that in our letters I've played along with the idea of us reconciling, but the truth is I don't want to. She was clingy, jealous, and lacks the spunk of my new girl. She'll be here soon. Please tell me how I can avoid a very uncomfortable situation once she arrives.
Major Dyk
Click here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Jul. 2 2009 @ 12:32PM
Hello, Kitty: Last weekend, my boyfriend and I argued after
he woke me up by yelling in my ear while I was hung-over. Well, it was
his normal speaking voice, but at 10 a.m. it sounded like he had a
megaphone to my ear. I asked him: "Why the fuck are you yelling in my
ear?" He called me a stupid motherfucker and rolled over. (He's staying
with me for a few days, so the tension has made for an uneasy living
situation.) Later, he told me to meet him at his fave brunch spot. When
I drove up, he was eating with another chick! Being the cold-bottom
bitch that I am, I didn't say anything -- took my keys and went home. He
stayed out with her for hours. I know he fucked her. I feel so
betrayed, like he traded me in. I feel replaceable now, and I can't
even look him in the eye. We're in an open relationship, so technically
he can do it, but I can't bear that he jumped her so quickly and
blatantly. Should I leave him?
Playt Hard
Click here for Kitty's answer.
Thursday, Jun. 25 2009 @ 12:06PM
Hello, Kitty: I've been single for close to a year now and while I don't miss the stress of having to entertain a girlfriend, I do miss the guaranteed sex of a relationship. I do have a few jump-offs in my phone book, but I guess my skills aren't tight enough. I always end up alone at the end of the night. That has gotten boring. I'm not ready to jump into the type of commitment that will afford me sex on the regular, so how can I spice up my solo sex life? FYI, I've exhausted the celeb fantasies and Jergens lotion option. Help!
-- Sicka Myhand
Read Kitty's answer here.
Thursday, Jun. 18 2009 @ 11:22AM
Hello, Kitty: My girlfriend recently bought a vibrator and I don't know what to think of it. She's never told me she wanted (or needed) sexual help from an electronic device, and I've never been a fan of something I think is kind of a substitute for what's in my pants. So when she whipped it out at dinner, gloating about her new toy, I wasn't so excited. I questioned her (maybe a little too harshly, but I was upset) and she claims it's just for when I'm not home and that it will only lead to more sex. I don't see how; I think the machine will satisfy her. I'm totally tempted to trash the thing, but I know that's wrong. Tell me, what's the word on these vibrators? Should I take her new purchase as a sign I'm not doing my job in the bedroom?
Toby ReplasteRead Kitty's answer
here.
(And follow the same Kitty on Twitter
here)
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