​Given the amount of, shall we say, "strong personalities" that have so far been signed by the Miami Marlins for next season, we almost have to wonder if Jeffrey Loria has been assembling the cast of a guilty pleasure reality TV show or a playoff-caliber team. Turns out he might have been doing both. NBC Sports reports that Showtime and the Marlins are close to a deal that would see the Marlins star in a second season of the channel's The Franchise.
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Media Take Out is basically the wild, wild West of Internet gossip. "The most visited urban website in the world" trades freely in outrageous claims. OK, its top headlines right now include questioning Tupac's heterosexuality, praising Kanye's oral sex technique, and implying that Busta Rhymes has herpes. More >>

​Early this month, Miami-based Dilligaf clothing line filed suit against Jersey Shore star Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino, claiming he refused to promote a line the two parties had planned. Now, Sorrentino is countersuing and asserts that Dilligaf (an acronymf or "Do I look like I give a fuck?") didn't even have the means to produce the clothing in the first place; ergo he had nothing to promote.
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​Frankie, the 13-year-old son of Real Housewives of Miami star Alexia Echevarria who often appeared on the show alongside his mother, is recovering from a serious car crash this past weekend. Multiple sources say the injuries were quite serious, and the boy underwent pelvic surgery yesterday.
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​We don't know who Gary Shirley is. We don't know why a show sensationalizing the exploits of poor, uneducated teenagers clearly unfit to be parents is so popular. We don't know why anyone connected to this show has $5,000 and then would blow it all at a strip club. We don't know why anyone would blow $5,000 at a strip club in the first place. We don't know anything but that we feel very dirty and slightly depressed for writing this. We're sorry.
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​Former American Idol judge Simon Cowell scoured America this summer looking for contestants for his new singing show, The X Factor. We're not sure if he found any future Kelly Clarksons when he visited Miami, but he did discover a now angry and litigious father-and-son duo.

Stephen Marks, 54, and his father, Hyman Marks, 86, made it all the way to the final auditions in Miami but claim the show's producers subjected them to unfair "physical and mental exertion" by making them dance wildly in the summer heat.
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​Just when we thought we could forever forget Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino, a lawsuit filed in Miami-Dade court this week presents us with the painful situation of having to remember or care about whatever the Jersey Shore star's life has become.

Last year, Sorrentino teamed with a clothing company to produce his own line of "couture clothing" under the name Dilligaf -- an acronym for "Do I look like I give a fuck." Now the company is suing the reality star for failing to promote or wear his own line.
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​South Beach has played host to some of television's worst reality shows, but we can't imagine an hour of programming that will be more locally loathed than South Beach Tow. The show follows the family and employees behind Tremont Towing, the ruthless company that makes sure you'll never catch a break in South Beach's already infamously tricky parking situation and then holds your car for ransom for a few hundred dollars. It's coming to TruTV July 20, and it's all brought to you by executive producer Jennifer Lopez.
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​Between the Heat and VH1's Basketball Wives, the city of Miami has become America's unquestioned capital of b-ball-related drama. Mix the Heat and the Wives together, and you have a surefire recipe for superscandal.

See, VH1 tried to capitalize on the Heat drama by bringing Chris Bosh's baby mama Allison Mathis into the cast. Bosh sued to keep her off, but now Mathis has filed a suit of her own against Bosh.
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​Note: This log, apparently describing an NBA Finals-themed drinking game played by a group of Miami Heat fans, was discovered late Sunday night. The fate of the heartbroken revelers is not known. More >>